TOS Caption Contest #190: This Has Disaster Written All Over It

Kirk: "Turn on your heartlight"

Spock: "Let it shine wherever -- "

Kirk: "Did I ask you to sing duet, asshole?"



.

 

Kirk: "Who are they?"

Vian: "They're rabid gamers who froze themselves to await the release of Duke Nukem Forever."

Kirk: "Wasn't that released in 2011?"

Vian: "They didn't think it'd come out that early."

 

Don't Phaze Me Bro! Don't Phaze Me! We didn't do anything!

OW! OWWw! OWWw! OW! OWw!


I guess they didn't listen!

 

Scotty: Ach! The engines are overheating again. Why can't we get some water tanks to cool 'em down?

 

Scotty: "Captain!!! There be beer here!!!!"



.

 

Kirk: See, Spock? Every time, without fail.
Spock: Fascinating. I believe our wager was three bottles of brandy?


McCoy, several decks below and shouting: Who's holdin' up the damn transit tubes?!

 

Forgot to say... thanks for the win, Ratboy! Couldn't have done it without Johnnyracerfan and Captain Crow.



Spock: Don't worry, captain. These men don't even rate Day Player wages.
Kirk: Seems they've been put out of their misery. Now if we can only do that for the Day Players.

 

Kirk: "What... evil torture is this?"
Vian: "Torture, what torture? All we did was feed them beans. We didn't make them fart!"

 

Students at
"The WILLIAM SHATNER School of MIME"

 

Although Kirk assured him his acting was brilliant, Scotty's re-imagination of 'Romeo and Juliet' as a love sonnet to his engines was a resounding failure with the rest of the crew.

 

Scotty: "Oh sure, they cut the budget so I canna have any extras in the engine room and then a fire starts."



Spock: "Fascinating. They hit a force field but they were half a meter behind us."

Kirk: "I blame the stunt coordinator."



Kirk: "This hall of presidents is very inaccurate."

Vian: "What makes you say that?"

Kirk: "Everybody knows it's spelled L-I-N-C-O-L-N. And where's his beard? And why is he standing next to President Ozaba?"

*Spock shakes his head*

 

The real reason 20th century humans hate genetic engineering? The horrible fashion sense of the test tube babies.

 

The Star Trek-Batman crossover episode was not well received.

(With thanks to jep for the Riddler image.)

 

Ozaba: Please, no more, no more...stop please...I can't do it anymore...Please turn off the Orgasm-A-Tron!

Linke: Please, I beg you, turn off the prostate-exams-o-tron.

 

Thanks for the win! Sorry about the spelling!


Warp Reactor: "Come into the light, my son!"

Scotty: "Oh god, I died on the landing party, didn't I?"

 

Doohan: Aw no! They actually are having the engines break down. This is going to be the slowest episode ever.

 

Pete Cochran: "Linc, I'm in you tube."

Linc Hayes: "Man we should never have does this cross-over with Lost In Space, where's Julie?"

Pete Cochran: "Can't see her, must be in another tube Linc."

Linc Hayes: "Don't worry man, it's all solid."

 

Kirk: "We're getting lens flares off the redshirts now?!"

 

(Actually, the image was used earlier by Alte. So with thanks to Alte...and hope i got it right this time.)

 

Linke: I'm a bear! Roar!
Ozaba: And I'm Madonna..."Vouge...come on..."