TOS Caption Contest #190: This Has Disaster Written All Over It

[jep]

Spock: "What is happening to them?"

Kirk: "What? That? It's OK... They walked into the event horizon of my personal "Babe Attractor" field, but since they're toting sausages the field repelled them."

Spock: "So why am I not..."

Kirk: "So why are you not affected? Unfortunately the field doesn't recognize bifurcated sausages."



.

 

[JonnyQuest037]

Kirk: "You're right, Spock. These new Spontaneously Combusting Redshirts DO save time."

 

[Gary7]

^^ Epic win!

 

[JonnyQuest037]

^^ Epic win!

Thanks!

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: What's happening Spock?

Spock: It appears my theory is true, the only chance redshirts have to survive is to never be seen on screen.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Note to Starfleet Tactical: boomerang phasers great in principle, not so much in practice."

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Hmmm, the new Phaser reflecting screen works. Maybe we should have tested it on the stun setting though.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Doctor Sam Beckett led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as Quantum Leap. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Beckett, prematurely stepped into the Project Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in an antimatter bottle on a starship, where he promptly exploded.

 

[ItsGreen]

Ach! The transporter locked on to the wrong group of whales!

 

[Nerd unRage]

THE WOMEN!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: At least they were cherry Slurpees.

 

[JonnyQuest037]

Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Doctor Sam Beckett led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as Quantum Leap. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Beckett, prematurely stepped into the Project Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in an antimatter bottle on a starship, where he promptly exploded.

Nice!

 

[Gary7]

Ach! The transporter locked on to the wrong group of whales!

 

[jep]

The Collector: "Damn you Roddenberry, you promised me Spock and Kirk!!! These meat socks are NOT Spock and Kirk!!!!"


.

 

[Gary7]

Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Doctor Sam Beckett led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as Quantum Leap. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Beckett, prematurely stepped into the Project Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the antimatter containment field of a starship engine room, where...

Good one!

 

[Gary7]

Scotty: "Ack! Did they hafta move the bloody gym in here?"

 

[TeaKirk]

Scotty: If I cannot change the laws of physics, who will?
*Figure falls through the ceiling off camera*
RPMMM(OC):It is I! repairmanmanman!(From All That)
Scotty: I was afraid to ask that

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: Club Dilithium is proud to present "Uhura and Her Amazing Fans!!!"

 

[Isis]

KIRK: Is that a female Ferengi?

Spock: No, Sir. It's an Oompa-loompa Skank. Known for being obnoxious drunk attention whores that make a delightfull squeaky toy sound when you punch them in the face.

Spock (continuing): And whatever you do, never let them run loose. One recently time traveled to 21st Century Earth, was fined 500 old United States dollars for being criminally annoying, and was designated, I think it's pronounced, "a Lin-sey Lo-han wan-na-bee."

Roddenberry: Cut! Who wrote that ridiculous dialogue? Well, at least there wasn't a line that it all took place in New Jersey. That would have made it totally unbelievable. Come on, we're trying to make intelligent speculative fiction here, not drivel that's totally divorced from reality.

 

[Isis]

Lincoln: "Fine mess you got us into now, Mr. Obama..."

Lincoln: "...On second thought, forget I said that. I'm now starting to recall the guy just before you."