Posthuman: "Strain Theory" - The first episode of my web series...

[T'Baio]

Hey there...I've finally completed the first episode of a web series of small shorts I've been putting together and it's up and live. I've mentioned it to a few people, I think...I know I've mentioned it to JacksonArcher before. But here it is. There are a few glitches in it, focusing mistakes and such, due to it being my first time using a DSLR with interchangeable lenses and all that, but I'm happy with it.

I'd love to get everyone's thoughts on it. Constructive criticism, praise or thoughtful negativity is appreciated...but can we keep the trolling to the TrekBBS and not on the Vimeo board? Thanks.

Hope you enjoy...

http://vimeo.com/14702451

Oh, and by the way...there seems to be a small lag in the audio that is minimized most if you let the video load all the way before playing it. I've been told by Vimeo support it has nothing to do with the video or the compression or codec, but is just the nature of streaming on the internet. Anyone know if that's correct? Let me know if you experience it. Cheers.

 

[T'Baio]

I'm hearing now that PC's often have a dislike of Vimeo? Is this true? Is anyone having problems playing it?

I'm probably gonna' try uploading to YouTube and see if that's better for some people.

 

[T'Baio]

Okay...up on YouTube now. Hopefully this helps anyone who was trouble seeing it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHOd2qVdUEw

 

[JacksonArcher]

Aw, this is really cool! I remember you telling me about this, T'Baio! I have company this weekend but first chance I get I'm going to check this out. This is really cool. I can't wait to watch it!

 

[Holdfast]

Loads up fine on Vimeo with on my pretty old (3-4 years, I guess) laptop.

I know almost nothing about the technical aspects of film-making so take everything I say with a pinch of salt but my feedback would be:

Likes:
- I enjoyed the introduction to the PI, the face-down photos, the gradual focusing, together with the sound crescendo, followed by his wake-up start. All that was a lot of fun and nicely done.
- noir is always cool
- the first few lines of the banter "do you want some", etc, are good.
- the later expository dialogue is interesting enough.
- the angles certainly convey a cramped, tense feel to the office/scene

Suggestions:
- The "bright out" pair of lines fell a bit flat.
- there seems to be a bit of unintentional camera wobble/jitter at one point near the start. Only for a second or two though.
- the sign seems to vanish off the door by the time he says "that's what the sign says".
- your boom operator seems to lose concentration occasionally, as the sound got quite difficult to hear in a couple of places. This could just be the actors mumbling of course, I can't be sure.
- there's a very annoying sound issue when you're cutting from one actor to the other; the background sound (which is probably hissing louder than it should anyway) momentarily goes dead at the instant of the cut. This completely breaks up the flow of the banter and makes what should be a rapid to-and-fro become very disjointed.
- your actress is a little shaky; your dialogue is in a deliberately hard-boiled noir style and so needs to be played straight and a couple of times she lacked conviction delivering lines.

Overall, an intriguing start, and thanks for sharing it with all of us! Hope you continue to post the subsequent parts here too.

 

[T'Baio]

Thanks for your comments, Holdfast!

All you mentioned about the audio are problems I'm aware of. This was shot on a DSLR with an XLR boom mic put through a converter with an Auto Gain Disabler. It's not the best situation for audio. But I learned a lot here in dealing with it, so hopefully those problems will be minimized or eliminated next episode.

I'm also aware the sign vanishes...but some things can't even be fixed in post! Live and learn.

Oh, and in defence of my actress...her lack of conviction at times has purpose. You'll find out why in later episodes.

 

[Holdfast]

All you mentioned about the audio are problems I'm aware of.

I was sure you were, but thought I'd mention it anyway, just in case. It takes a brave soul to post their work for critique, so kudos to you, and keep them coming.

I'm also aware the sign vanishes...but some things can't even be fixed in post!

George Lucas is feeling a great disturbance in the Force right about now.

I wouldn't normally nitpick continuity slips; that's usually the refuge of the banal and the neurotic. It's just the dialogue in this case directly called attention to it.

Oh, and in defence of my actress...her lack of conviction at times has purpose.

Ah, a teaser!

 

[Kelso]

That was good! I dig the 21st century noir vibe.

And thanks for the youtube link.

 

[Admiral_Young]

I plan on viewing this and provide comments and critiques once my stye clears up...haven't been able to concentrate on anything for the past week.

 

[Jetfire]

That was interesting...I can't wait to see more.

 

[T'Baio]

Thanks for the comments, guys!

Just had a meeting yesterday, and we're shooting episodes 2 and 3 the first weekend of October...the 2nd and 3rd, coincidentally enough!

I hope everyone will like what we're cooking up!

 

[JacksonArcher]

Well done. I love the concept. I have a big appreciation for noir and sci-fi, especially when mixed together, so it had me from the beginning. I'll echo some of the complaints about the sound -- not as clear or as precise as it could be, but that's understandable given what probably was a small budget with limited resources. Even so, the color scheme, style, and dialogue are all very good.

I especially loved the attention to detail. Porter's office was very convincing. It was modern yet had some style yet was also believable for a PI's office. I liked the modern touches. For example, Porter's outfit looks modern but the fedora gives it that classic noir-esque touch.

I thought the acting was decent. There was enough intrigue to definitely get me to watch a second episode. That was conveyed by a combination of different things: the mood, style, pacing, writing but definitely the acting, especially of the lead. I'll agree that the female lead fell a little flat in some cases, but the banter was witty enough to hold my interest. There was just enough information revealed to get me interested about this mythology -- yet not too much to reveal all your cards in the first episode. The length can also be contributed to this. I think had it been longer, you would have gotten bored, but 5 minutes per episode is a good length and with the information you're revealing, at this rate, I think it'll help maintain a level of suspense and keep things interesting until the next episode.

So, overall, I was entertained. I'm definitely going to watch the second episode. It was great to see this after hearing about it. I think this could be very cool as the series progresses.

 

[T'Baio]

Thanks, JA! I appreciate the comments. I'm hoping what I've learned about the audio on DSLR's this time around will solve some of the problems the next time around.

I'm also wondering if some of the comments about the female lead may be my fault...not that people's impressions are wrong. But there is a secret about her character, and it is intentionally being played cold, and intentionally edited to have several beats of consideration from her before every response, which in retrospect may come off as flat to an audience who doesn't know the background or where the story will go. I'm hoping her performance will be understood in future episodes. So this is probably an error on the part of the director more than the actor.

 

[JacksonArcher]

I don't think that's a problem on the director's end. If we will better understand her performance in later episodes, then I think that's perfectly fine. It just means we might be a little confused right now, but when we get that clarification, we'll be able to appreciate the first episode even more.

 

[JacksonArcher]

Also, I love the use of Nine Inch Nails music. It added a very modern vibe to the proceedings. I'm a big Trent Reznor fan and his music was used brilliantly here. Was it taken from his Ghosts album? Also, since I know you're a big fan of Fincher, T'Baio, are you excited that Reznor is scoring Fincher's The Social Network?

 

[RJDiogenes]

That was pretty good. Obviously low-budget, of course, but very professionally done; had sort of a Tales From The Darkside feel. It was the classic film noir scenario of the pretty dame walking in on the seedy gumshoe, but enlivened with the SF allusions and a nice twisty cliffhanger. Definitely interesting enough to continue watching. How many episodes will there be all together?

 

[Harvey]

-Cool use of music
-Some camera wobbles, but overall it's pretty steady looking
-Might want to work on the sound--the footsteps are pretty overpowering. You could always re-record those at a lower level, though I understand recording conditions weren't optimal.

I look forward to seeing more.

 

[Myasishchev]

I liked it, especially the music and B+W. Maybe too reminiscent of Pi, especially the opening shot, but if you're going to be reminiscent of something, that's no bad choice. Not at all.

I didn't like the set design. Too much paper. Worse, no visible computer equipment.

And maybe this is realistic and I this is what the hip kids do nowadays, but I didn't like how she kept referring her spouse as her "partner." Who calls their girlfriend or wife "partner"?

 

[T'Baio]

Also, I love the use of Nine Inch Nails music. It added a very modern vibe to the proceedings. I'm a big Trent Reznor fan and his music was used brilliantly here. Was it taken from his Ghosts album? Also, since I know you're a big fan of Fincher, T'Baio, are you excited that Reznor is scoring Fincher's The Social Network?

Thanks, JA. In terms of people working on film, composers are an element of which I know none. So I love creative commons licensing, and was stoked when NIN released music with that.

The first and 2nd track in the score are both edits of "The Four Of Us Are Dying" from The Slip. The first bit of score is actually the end of that track, and the 2nd bit of score is actually the beginning of that track. The end is "26 Ghosts III" from Ghosts I-IV. I plan on using a lot from that album in future episodes, but I'll also mix it up with some acoustic guitar in future episodes.

I used the NIN because I felt the music had an ambient noir future feel to it which fit what I'm going for, and also helped sell the sci-fi aspect of it, which is really only shown in dialogue, as we had zero production value to visually create sci-fi props. This will change in the future, and we will also see later on his office is in an old, very poor part of town with little access to technology. But I felt the music helped sell the "sci-fi-ness."

How many episodes will there be all together?

Thanks for your comments! As for how many episodes, it really depends on how long it takes to tell the story. I have a whole "bible" written out for the things I want to get across and cover, and as long as we can find people to work on it and have ideas, we'll keep doing it...even if no one watches! We're just enjoying ourselves and having a blast and hoping other people enjoy it. But we've batted the number "40" around.

 

[RJDiogenes]

^^ When you're thinking about how the story will be structured, you should think about the possibility of doing DVDs, which is pretty easy these days, through Lulu and other places. Forty episodes would be just over three hours, which would be just right for a couple of DVDs, if you can split it into two relatively standalone chapters.