Star Trek XI Caption Contest #19: School's Back in Session

[Rat Boy]

A tad late, but let's get another caption contest going with...

I hate when this happens...

KIRK: "You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips. And there's no tenderness like before in your fingertips. You're trying hard not to show it..."

CUPCAKE: "Baby..."

EVERY STARFLEET MALE IN THE BAR: "But baby, baby I know it... You've lost that lovin' feeling. Whoa, that lovin' feeling. You've lost that lovin' feeling. Now it's gone...gone...gone...wooooooh."

I think Nero's going to enjoy history...

AYEL: According to the Starfleet history files we accessed, most of their women wore VERY short and revealing skirts in this era...

NERO: MAGNIFY!!!!

They may build their starships bigger in the new time line, but their quality control leaves something to be desired...

Kirk: Okay, Who made those crappy parachutes?!!

And our Photoshop winner...

Kirk: "Wait one minute, aren't these domes on the CEILING of the transporter chamber?

Sulu: "I think you're right."

**CRASH**

Kirk: "Okay ... there's the deck."

Sulu: "Thanks Chekov."

Well, seeing how this has gone on long enough, here's your next batch and I'll see you in three weeks:

 

[Rat Boy]

Even Spock had trouble figuring out the formula from that Futurama episode.

McCoy: "How do you expect the beat the Kobayashi Maru?"

Kirk: "I've got it all taken care of. You could say that I've taken steps to 'improve' my chances."

McCoy: "I'm not following."

Kirk: "I've got a way to...even the odds."

McCoy: "Not a clue."

Kirk: "You could say I'm going to upload a program to change the conditions of the...I've said too much."

Spock (thinking): Just ignore her and maybe she'll go away.

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: I have failed. Early 21st Century American Tax Laws make no sense to me.

McCoy: Jim, I'm not going to the test just to watch you embarras- huh.

Kirk: Bones?

McCoy: That sounds nothing like me at all. I'll be there.

Spock: Stop bitching about your assignment, we're going to Vulcan, one of the safest places in the galaxy. You can yell at me about this after the Farragut returns to Earth.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Young Spock: "The only part I understand is the 'du,' only...isn't it supposed to be spelled 'duh'?"

Uhura (loudly): "Hey, Joe! You owe me fifty dollar, Joe!"
Spock: "Not funny!"

 

[M'Sharak]

Though he would never admit it, Spock secretly loved it when he could make Uhura get her "Romulan face" on.

Li'l Spock: Derivative of the function Zenyattà Mondatta, Side B, Track One.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Look, so I called out my mother's name, big deal. Happens to a lot of guys."

Uhura: "Uh...I was going to ask you to transfer me to the Enterprise, but now I'm not so sure."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Spock excelled in advanced DooWop.

SPOCK: Dip de dip de dip.
Blue blue moon, blue moon.
Dip de dip de dip.
Blue blue moon, blue moon.
Dip de dip de dip.

MCCOY: Lay off the "left nothing but my bones" story. I'm trying to convince the ladies I'm called "Bones" because I'm good in the sack.

Kirk supresses a laugh.

SPOCK (thinking): Great, another stalker. Like that Kalomi chick wasn't enough.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Spock: "Kiri-Thin-Kha can suck my dick."

Bones: "That apple in the Kobayashi Maru test...

Made you look like a tool."

Spock: "Lieutenant, this is the "Bros" shuttle. I believe the "Hos" shuttle is located approximately 20 meters to the southwest."

 

[6079SmithW]

Spock, internal monologue: Damn! She found T'Pring's undergarments in my bedroom! (Sigh) Guess she had to find out some day.

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

McCoy: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did NAAAT. Oh hi, Jim.

Spock: You are lying! I never hit you! You are tearing me apart, Uhura!

 

[Assimilated Tom]

Young Spock was a top student in calculus. Unfortunately, due to his sideways mu's, he failed calligraphy.

Seriously, Jim, do you know how many guys Gaila's been with? As your doctor, I recommend extreme caution.

Uhura: "Spock, I want to talk about where our relationshipt is going...."
Spock: "Communications are down, lieutenant."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did NAAAT. Oh hi, Jim.

Spock: You are lying! I never hit you! You are tearing me apart, Uhura!

WINNER!

 

[LeadHead]

Teaching Computer: Our next lesson is Sha-Ka-Ree.

Spock: Sybok said this one would change your life.

McCoy: Listen Jim, I'm breaking Doctor-Patient Confidentiality, but there's a very good reason why Carol Marcus isn't returning your phone calls anymore...

Spock: When I said I thought we should "See other people." I only meant that we should talk to other people more often.

 

[6079SmithW]

Young Spock was a top student in calculus. Unfortunately, due to his sideways mu's, he failed calligraphy.

Spock: Sideways mu's? Highly illogical.

 

[Aragorn]

MCCOY: "I'm warning you Jim -- Gaila's crotch is disease and danger wrapped in dampness and softness!"

 

[Gepard]

McCoy: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did NAAAT. Oh hi, Jim.

Spock: You are lying! I never hit you! You are tearing me apart, Uhura!

WINNER!

Yeah, that's pretty good.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Tense as Spock was, he wasn't expecting the dope-slap.

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: If you are going to follow me around could you at least check out my ass? I spent all that time in the gym for your benefit.

 

[Rat Boy]

Computer: "How do you feel?"

Spock: "Like I want to kick the ass of the next person who asks me that question."

 

[6079SmithW]

Spock: The English text displays a standard calculus equation but the Vulcan text says, "Your mother is a whore." Fascinating.