TNG Caption This #176: Wild Wild West....Episode

[LeadHead]

Good evening ladies and gents! Now that you've all had time to be assimilated, meet the Borg Queen and study nanoprobes, it's time for a new contest!

First, lets honor some of our best drones!

For remembering not to blast Borg that Riker has his eye on, our winner is:

Riker: Wait Worf! You can't shoot the Borg Queen before I've got to second base!

For bringing classic dance maneuvers into the 24th Century, our winner is:

Riker: It's a tango dammit! DIP ME!

For Resistance and Pranks both being futile, our winner is:

Beverly: Say it, Hugh...
Hugh: All right. Captain, I was the one who put Icy Hot in your Starfleet uniform.

For making us need to build a large wooden badger, our winner is:

Borg: "You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."
Data: "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."
Borg: "Does not compute. VXD Error 567283XXD"

And for reminding us that there are some problems even the Borg can't fix, our winner is:

Locutus: "You will disarm all of your weapons and escort us to the Hair Club for Men."

Congratulations to our winners and now, Playing Red Dead Redemption has put the wild west in my brain so what better episode to draw from than A Fistful of Datas?

And while we were on this episode I just couldn't resist putting this one in to honor our Good Friend Rat Boy.

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: I've got to get better before the big concert tonight.

Computer: Ha! Not bloody likely!

Crusher: The script calls for you to have 14 girlfriends?

Riker: I like this play.

Troi: You talking to me? Are you talking to me? There's no one else here. You must be talking to me!

Data: LOL! This plant is so ugly.

Picard: I apologize for the rude remarks of my officer Ambassador Weeds.

Hollinder: Toss me another gun!

Data Hologram: Can't you just reload?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Why are you all speaking Chinese, Mr. Reynolds? Answer me or I'll shoot!"

 

[Finn]

(off screen) No, Thanks! I'd rather be shot in the stomach than being your hostage on the getaway horse. I heard how you ride those ponies.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Data: Ah-CHOO!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win!

Troi: "Go ahead, make my Stardate."

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "Computer, load program Picard GaGa Duet #3."

McFadden: "What do you know? There's a chest waxing scene after all."

Frakes: "I'm outta here."

Troi: "You see there are two kinds of people in this world, my friend: those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig."

Picard: "Data! That's not a spittoon! That's Admiral Molk!"

Molk: "I'm so firing your android ass."

Bandito: "¡LAS MUJERES!"

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Picard:(Thinking of a very old movie) This one time at band camp..

Crusher: "Hey who changed the script to let you to have 5 girlfriends?"

Riker: "Don't look at me".

Troi: Put that thing away this ain't Miss Langford's House of Pleasure

Data:"All right who did a number two in my plant?"

Hollinder: "Well I'll be damed they do explode like a bug when you shoot them right."

 

[Subcommander R.]

Picard: Why didn't I learn to play violin?

Riker's attempts to seduce Dr. Crusher were met with total disinterest, even the famous low-cut silky shirt trick.

Troi: I swear Will, if you make one more crack about my leather pants...

Data: This plant has a most disconcerting smell...

Datos: Lo siento Señor Picard, no sabe dónde está su peluquín es. Pero aquí hay una pistola.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Crusher: "You spent two weeks on Risa and all you managed to score is one photo of an inadvertent nipple slip? That's really pretty pathetic, Will."

 

[Rat Boy]

Crusher: "You spent two weeks on Risa and all you managed to score is one photo of an inadvertent nipple slip? That's really pretty pathetic, Will."

Crusher: "And it's your nipple!"

 

[TiberiusMaximus]

Go away, or I will taunt you a second time! Go and wipe your bottoms, you sons of silly persons!

 

[doubleohfive]

...and Marina Sirtis as Brisco County, Jr. This fall, on the CW!

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: I''m gonna be the best flautist ever! That'll teach them to laugh when I say I'm off to blow my own flute!

CRUSHER: Nope, there's no app for to counter bad fashion choices.

TROI: Assless chaps are a bit breezy. I dont see why the captain likes them.

DATA: The card said it was from a guy named "Carl".

RATA CHICO: Viva! El Concorso TOS!!! Viva El Concorso Películas

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Riker (OS): "Captain, with all due respect, would you please stop playing 'Pop Goes the Weasel' whenever I walk into a room!"

 

[Mistral]

Troi's path to alcoholism had many colorful landmarks...

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

In the future, mankind evolved beyond the need for vuvuzelas.

Crusher: "Eww Will! I may be your Doctor, but there are parts of your body I have no interest in seeing, even if it's just an image."
Riker: "I just want to know if that oozing is normal."

Troi: "I'm a sensing a whole heap a pain headin' for a low down dirty varmint."

Data: "Activating moseying mode. Mosey mode activated... See y'all later."

When Data called shotgun for the Captain's dune buggy, he really called shotgun!

 

[Yeoman Randi]

"Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges!"

 

[DGCatAniSiri]

*gunshot*
Troi: Oops.
Worf: What is it?
Troi: I just shot Alexander.
Worf: Eh, never mind, we'll just replace him with an older actor, call it weird Klingon biology, no one watching will know the difference.

 

[Rat Boy]

After her latest interview, Marina Sirtis had to fend off rabid and horny cougar-hunting fans.