Caption Contest 50: Sluggo!

[Nerys Myk]

But first, the winners of last weeks contest


I Left My Heart In San Francisco Award:

Archer: "My heart! Where's my heart?!?"

Transporter Chief: "Ah, oops?"

New Traditions Award:

TRIP: Now is the part where I fondle your breasts...and you say "OOOOH, My...what a lovely tea party!"

It's human tradition.

What worse than losing your luggage Award

Travis: "We may have a problem,sir."

Malcolm: "What is this, Mr. Mayweather? I was supposed to meet the Vulcan delegation here."

Travis: "Oh, they're here, sir. It's just that when I beamed them and their luggage in I set the priority protocols for cargo. That means everything appears inside a container."

Malcolm: "This is a very small container, Ensign."

Travis: "Yes, sir. Try not to get anything on your boots."

Congratulations to our winners!

And now this week's caps:

 

[Skywalker]

T'Pol: "The Klingon vessel is going to warp."
Archer: "Go after them, Travis." *blink* "Travis!"
Director: "Oh, geez... Cut!"
Anthony Montgomery: "Wait, what? What happened?"
Scott Bakula: "Come on, Anthony! You missed your cue."
Montgomery: "I'm sorry! I'm not used to having lines!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

TRIP (O.C.): You okay sir? You've been in there awhile. Should I call Dr Phlox?

ARCHER: Quiet, T'Pol. He's about to speak.

HOSHI: Who's good boy? Sluggo is, yes he is!

 

[Vassa]

Listen Porthos! Put down the phaser and let's talk.

Travis: Yes Sir! No skimming Gas Giants on the night shift! Got it, Sir!

Sluggo: HEY! Not my damn planet!! Let me guess? Phlox didn't bother to tell you I'd choke to death on the first thing I ate did he?

 

[Skywalker]

Reed (O.S.): "Bridge to the Captain!"
Sam Beckett: "Wha...? Where am I?"
Reed: "Sir, internal sensors just picked up a surge of chronoton particles coming from your quarters. Are you alright?"
Beckett: "Chronoton particles? What?"
Reed: "Stand by, sir. I'm sending a security team down there."
Beckett: "...Oh boy."

Slurms MacKenzie: "Hey, baby. Wanna party?"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Trip outside the door: "Hey, how about a courtesy flush!"

T'Pol: "You have been staring for 5 hours now Captain. I don't think it will happen if you stare."

Archer: "I just want his first word to be 'Captain'."

Hoshi: "Mmm, better than a rampant rabbit"

 

[Mistral]

Thanks for the win(s)!-Mistral

Hoshi: "Oh, how cute! And I bet if I squeeze hard enough he'll pop like a zit!"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Malcolm (OS): "It's a hentai tentacle vibrating sex toy! I saw it in a shop window on Wrigley's Pleasure Planet and immediately thought of you!"
Hoshi (sarcastically): "How flattering..."

 

[Mistral]

Archer: "If the wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round, where does the damn bus go?"

 

[LeadHead]

Phlox: (over comm) Phlox to Captain Archer.

Archer Shhh! Trip and T'Pol are arguing on the Bridge, this is too awesome to miss!

Archer: Take us to Warp 4.

Mayweather: Where are we going again?

Archer: I thought you knew.

T'Pol: These guys really need me to stick around.

Sluggo: You're leaving me here?! Take me home you kidnapper!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Trip (OS): "Hey, piglet, you gonna eat that whole thing yourself? How about sharin' a little?"

 

[mirandafave]

TRIP (O.C.): You okay sir? You've been in there awhile. Should I call Dr Phlox?

ARCHER: Damn it Trip! These Captain's Logs are hard enough to do without you standing outside listening.

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Sam Beckett: I did it! Archer's finally an admiral.

Sam Beckett: Oh boy...

 

[Skywalker]

Sam Beckett: I did it! Archer's finally an admiral.

Sam Beckett: Oh boy...

 

[LeadHead]

Trip: (over comm) Tucker to Captain Archer, there's a huge energy drain from the warp engines, it's like somebody rigged our systems to electrocute someone, I just wish I knew who...

 

[cooleddie74]

Thanks for the win, btw!

ARCHER: Great.

NO damn wiping paper.

TRAVIS: Funny.

I don't REMEMBER this sector being so full of capped wells and floating tennis ball debris.

Hi, Hoshi.

I'm Hand Banana.

You got a nice rump roast back there...mind if I check the temperature?

 

[jep]

Hoshi: "It's a good thing for you that chef didn't have any garlic sauce aboard ship."



.

 

[cooleddie74]

SLUGGO: Take a hologram, bitch.

It'll last longer.

Sheeeeeesh.

 

[cooleddie74]

Even Archer couldn't believe the substance on the floor of his ready room WASN'T butter.

 

[NXOner]

SLUGGO: Hey, I'm a mollusc, I need damp conditions - you're not leaving me here HEEEELP !! .

Archer: Is this a hologram? I can never tell .....

Archer: Someone's out to get me, someone's out to get me ...

Chef: (through the door) Captain? I swear I didn't doctor your food - I've got a scout badge in counselling - let me help ....