Funniest Doctor Leonard McCoy lines

[scotpens]

Also, from "Patterns of Force", McCoy's utter confusion when he's grabbed from Sick Bay, thrown into a Nazi outfit, and quickly beamed down into a closet where he finds Kirk & Spock dressed in SS uniforms is PRICELESS:

McCOY: (looks around the room) WHAT THE DEVIL'S GOING ON HERE???

His total exasperation is hilarious!

McCoy's actual line is, “What in blazes is this?”

Upon beaming down, McCoy is preoccupied with trying get his wrong-sized boot to fit. After he manages to get it on his foot, Kirk introduces him to “Daras, secretary to the National Socialist Party.” Only after a perfunctory “How do you do”? does McCoy realize the absurdity of the situation. His double-take is what makes the scene funny.

 

[FormerLurker]

How could you be deaf with ears so big?

I think I flubbed the exact line, but it's obviously from Star Trek 3.

I believe the line is, "How can you be deaf with ears like that?" I'm sure someone will confirm that!

Confirmed. Dr. Sevrin's ears were bigger.

 

[maryh]

Great lines from "Space Seed":

McCoy: Well, either choke me or cut my throat. Make up your mind.
Khan: English. I thought I dreamed hearing it. Where am I?
McCoy: You're in bed, holding a knife at your doctor's throat.
Khan: Answer my question.
McCoy: It would be most effective if you would cut the carotid artery, just under the left ear.

 

[Ziz]

You gotta finish it...

Khan: I like a brave man.
McCoy: I was simply trying to avoid an argument.

 

[FormerLurker]

Kinda gets you right here.
(bumps his chest with his fist. Glances at Spock)
Or in your case, Mister Spock, somewhere back here.
(Puts his fist behind him, and bumps his side)

Interesting to note McCoy was supposed to be indicating near the human liver, but got the wrong side.

 

[Ziz]

No....complete the dialogue.

Spock: "The fact that my internal arrangement differs from yours pleases me no end, Doctor."

The point was that a Vulcan heart isn't centered in the upper chest area like a human one. It's the same as making a "short" joke or "tall" joke or something similar.

 

[FormerLurker]

Nothing in your post contradicts Bones getting that arrangement wrong. Or Spock not very logically and meticulously calling him on it.

 

[Ziz]

Oh, you're one of THOSE people.



Fine, whatever.

 

[Sector 7]

Are you two going to argue or post Funniest Doctor Leonard McCoy lines? [hint, hint]

 

[FormerLurker]

Bones as straight man:

"Go? Where are we going?"
"Where they went."
"What if they went nowhere?"
"Then this is your big chance to get away from it all."

 

[Keith1701]

He's from Georgia, how could he go wrong?

I agree!!!!

 

[Doomsday]

Just reading this post has brightened my day! Seeing all these quotes together emphasizes what a loveable character McCoy is, and how essential he is as the "glue" holding the Kirk/Spock/McCoy friendship together.

I also agree with the many comments that said it is often more the delivery and facial expressions than the lines themselves (as good as the lines are!), showing what a skilled actor Kelley was.

My own contribution is from STVI, toward the end, as they all arrive back on the bridge, and Kirk comments about having saved the galaxy again, and McCoy quips:

"And the good news is they're not going to prosecute!"

Once again, the timing and delivery of the line is funnier than seeing it in writing.

 

[sbk1234]

I don't remember if anyone said this: "You don't ask the almighty for his I.D."

 

[Captrek]

From Obsession:

SCOTT: Captain, thank heaven.
SPOCK: Mister Scott, there was no deity involved. It was my cross-circuiting to B that recovered them.
MCCOY: Well then, thank pitchforks and pointed ears!

 

[FormerLurker]

I don't remember if anyone said this: "You don't ask the almighty for his I.D."

McCoy did, in STV. Right after this:

Excuse me. What does God need with a Starship?
What are you doing?
I'm asking a question.

 

[sbk1234]

I don't remember if anyone said this: "You don't ask the almighty for his I.D."

McCoy did, in STV. Right after this:

Excuse me. What does God need with a Starship?
What are you doing?
I'm asking a question.

I know McCoy said it. I meant did anyone IN THIS THREAD say it! Sheesh!

 

[FormerLurker]

The wording of your original post was vague.

 

[Ziz]

Y'ever assign voices to certain forum members based on how they act, so that when you read their posts, you hear that voice in your head? FormerLurker just got assigned "Comic Book Guy"'s voice from The Simpsons.

 

[JanewayRulz!]

GornCaptain:

In the Wrath of Khan, Kirk and Saavik are having this little quiet moment, and Kirk has just softly said "We learn by doing" and all of a sudden the lift whooshes open, and McCoy says "Who's been holding up the damn elevator?!?"

Don't forget the rest of the scene.

SAAVIK: Thank you, sir.
McCOY: Did she change her hairstyle?
KIRK: I hadn't noticed.
McCOY: Wonderful stuff, that Romulan ale.
UHURA (on intercom): Admiral Kirk.
KIRK: Kirk here.
UHURA (on intercom): I have an urgent Comm-pic from Space Lab Regula I for you, sir. Doctor Carol Marcus.
KIRK: I'll take it in my quarters, Uhura.
UHURA (on intercom): Aye sir.
McCOY: It never rains but it pours.

Speaking of movies: From ST IV, The Voyager Home


SPOCK: It would not be proper to refer to you as Jim while you are in command, Admiral. ...Also, I must apologise for my attire. ...I seem to have misplaced my uniform.
KIRK: Station.
McCOY: Are you sure this is such a bright idea?
KIRK: What do you mean?
McCOY: Him? I mean him, back at his post, like nothing happened. I don't know if you've got the whole picture but he isn't exactly working on all thrusters.
KIRK: It'll come back to him.
McCOY: Are you sure? ...That's what I thought.


And later, in the same movie:

McCOY: Hi. ...Busy?
SPOCK: Uhura is busy. I am monitoring.
McCOY: Umm. Well, I just wanted to say it sure is nice to have your katra back in your head, not mine. What I mean is I may have carried your soul, but I sure couldn't fill your shoes.
SPOCK: My shoes.
McCOY: Forget it! ...Perhaps we could cover a little philosophical ground? Life, Death, Life. Things of that nature?
SPOCK: I did not have time on Vulcan to review the philosophical disciplines.
McCOY: Come on Spock, it's me, McCoy! You really have gone where no man has gone before. Can't you tell me what it felt like?
SPOCK: It would be impossible to discuss the subject without a common frame of reference.
McCOY: You're joking!
SPOCK: A joke is .... a story with a humorous climax.
McCOY: You mean I have to die to discuss your insights on death?
SPOCK: Forgive me, Doctor, I am receiving a number of distress calls.
McCOY: I don't doubt it!

I forgot this one! Edited to add....

SPOCK: To attempt to do so would be futile, Admiral. The Probe could render us neutral easily.
KIRK: But we can't turn away! ...There must be an alternative?
SPOCK: There is one possibility, but I cannot guarantee its success. We could attempt to find some humpback whales.
McCOY: You just said there aren't any, except on Earth of the past.
SPOCK: Yes Doctor, that's exactly what I said.
McCOY: Well, in that case... Now wait just a damn minute!
KIRK: Spock, start your computations for time warp. ...Bones, you come with me.

 

[sbk1234]

The wording of your original post was vague.

No problem. I'm just having fun with you.