Star Trek XI Caption Contest #17: Busted

[cooleddie74]

PICARD: If you haven't heard from me within a half an hour, contact Commander Riker and tell him to get the Enterprise the HELL out of this movie...and somewhere safe!

 

[LeadHead]

So this is how Keensers species ends up on both movies!

 

[bullethead]

Proctor: Phones with cords and no viewscreen?! Who the hell designed this?!

 

[T'Girl]

KIRK: You expect to command a starship THIS large and advanced with a penis THAT tiny?

You're out of your league, Spock.

Step aside.

Kirk: "Uhura, what is it?"

Uhura: "I seen Spock's penis."

Kirk: "So have I, it's tiny."

Uhura: "But this is the TAS episode The Infinite Vulcan."

Kirk: "You mean it's ... "

Uhura: "Unbelievable."

 

[Skywalker]

Jimmy Kirk: "Hey, old timer! You're going the wrong way! Box office success is in the other direction!"

Instructor: "Impressive. Mr. Spock, do you have a reading yet?"
Spock (O.S.): "Affirmative, sir. But...these results are not logical. His midi-chlorian count is over 20,000!"
Instructor: "...I fucking hate prequels."

 

[M'Sharak]

"Huh, and Stepdad told me Picard was supposed to have a full head of hair in this
reality, the lying bastard. Screw him - car's going in the quarry for that, yep!"
[Kirk punches up the Beastie Boys and cranks the volume.]

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD (thinking): I wish that punk would turn down that godawful racket.

KIRK (thinking): I wonder if gramps knows his turn signal's been on for blocks.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Remember, kid: fifty-five, stay alive.

The proctor started to suspect foul play when he saw that the Kobayashi Maru simulator room's computers all had screensavers featuring dancing Orion women.

Spock: We must proceed to the rendezvous. Mr. Chekov --
Kirk: Don't you think you'd better check with me first?
Spock: Jim?!

 

[cooleddie74]

HOVERCOP: I don't care WHAT the hell Sammy Hagar says, kid!!!

SLOW THE HELL DOWN!!!!

How the hell did that kid beat you at Go Fish?

KIRK: Nice pants.

They come with a free bowl of soup?

 

[cooleddie74]

YOUNG KIRK: There a gas station around here somewhere?

TIME-TRAVELING PICARD: Didn't see one...but there's a BAAAAAD movie where I just left from.

 

[M'Sharak]

"And what's up with the background guys -- is it quadruplets? Quintuplets? The CGI people are messing with me, aren't they?"

 

[Sanji Himura]

Bridge Delivery Crew(off screen): Did someone order a bridge simulator off the carrier USS Enterprise?

Proctor: Get the HELL out of my movie!

 

[LeadHead]

Proctor: How the hell did that kid beat your test?

Spock: He didn't. He brought food into the simulator. That's an automatic fail.

 

[T'Girl]

YOUNG KIRK: There a gas station around here somewhere?

TIME-TRAVELING PICARD: Didn't see one...but there's a BAAAAAD movie where I just left from.

Brat Kirk: "But that the way I'm heading."

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "I'm sorry, Spock, but Uhura isn't into nipple rings."

 

[Isis]

Cop: "Do you know you're way too young to be driving that thing?"

Kirk: "No, but if you hum a few bars, I can probably fake it."

 

[RookieBatman]

Proctor: Whoa! Hey, you know I just figured out there's no way for the cadets to beat this thing!

Spock: Oops.

 

[LeadHead]

Proctor: Kirk passed the test.

Spock: Dang it! I thought making the simulator bridge a near replica of the one his father got blown up on would stop him!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Proctor: Kirk passed the test.

Spock: Dang it! I thought making the simulator bridge a near replica of the one his father got blown up on would stop him!

Spock (grumbling): Next time I'm replacing the Klingon Warbirds with Romulan supership. Lets see him beat that!!!!!

 

[cooleddie74]

HOVERCOP: Tell me where Ms. Lohan and Ms. Hilton went after you dropped them off...and you WON'T be charged with anything!!