Am I a Stoic or a Pussy?(Rant)

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

Sorry, this is just going to be one of those I am really upset right now rants. You can ignore it. I didn't have the best of days today. I am about 2/3 of the way into my internship at a big chain pharmacy studying to become a pharmacy technician. All has been going well seemingly. I thought I was doing a good if somewhat still limited job. Of course I made some mistakes, but no one complained about the job I was doing. Some of my co-workers even complimented me. I was even really proud of the fact that last Saturday I had to hold down the store for two hours as the only employee there even though I am not even a real employee, I couldn't use the cash register, and it was only like my sixth day working there.

Until today. One of the pharmacists I don't usually interact with was there. The whole thing started with me asking a simple question and started snowballing. He told me to not bother him with my little questions and to go away. I was a little taken aback and a little flustered. You see one thing I have tended to observe about this pharmacy is they seem to have hit on the idea of offering a lot of internships to local students as a supply of free labor so at times they are more interested in you working for them rather than them teaching you.

Anyway I got flustered. I made mistakes. The more mistakes I made the ruder the pharmacist got. He then just said he didn't want me to work there anymore. I wanted to run out of there. I wanted to explode. I wanted to break down and cry. He starts talking about me like I am not there. I want to attack him. But I didn't I stood there silently and eventually resumed my tasks. I then spent the next six hours calmly doing my work in silence. And then I watched thei pharmacist go out of his way to tutor the other(all female) students and continue to give me rude responses when I asked simple questions. I even apologzed and the end of the day. He wasn't rude, but he wasn't terribly interested in what I had to say.

I have had this situation before. I am a good worker and I expect that to talk for me and it never does. People only notice whatever the last complaint about you was. I am afraid all my schooling and work will now come down to this guy and his opinion. Sometimes I feel I have come along way because I am working eight hours a day in a bust store dealing with people all day. Other times I feel I am that same shut-in loser who can't talk to people because he is terrified he is going to break into tears. I don't know. Am I a good worker who had a bad day and met up with the wrong supervisor? Does the fact that I just took it all and went in friendship at the end of the day say something mature about me? Or does the fact that I took it all, came home and started crying, complained on an internet group, and was terrified to face someone because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to control my emotions mean i am still that anxiety ridden loser I always thought I am

 

[Gryffindorian]

Yes.

 

[Amaris]

Sorry, this is just going to be one of those I am really upset right now rants. You can ignore it. I didn't have the best of days today. I am about 2/3 of the way into my internship at a big chain pharmacy studying to become a pharmacy technician. All has been going well seemingly. I thought I was doing a good if somewhat still limited job. Of course I made some mistakes, but no one complained about the job I was doing. Some of my co-workers even complimented me. I was even really proud of the fact that last Saturday I had to hold down the store for two hours as the only employee there even though I am not even a real employee, I couldn't use the cash register, and it was only like my sixth day working there.

Until today. One of the pharmacists I don't usually interact with was there. The whole thing started with me asking a simple question and started snowballing. He told me to not bother him with my little questions and to go away. I was a little taken aback and a little flustered. You see one thing I have tended to observe about this pharmacy is they seem to have hit on the idea of offering a lot of internships to local students as a supply of free labor so at times they are more interested in you working for them rather than them teaching you.

Anyway I got flustered. I made mistakes. The more mistakes I made the ruder the pharmacist got. He then just said he didn't want me to work there anymore. I wanted to run out of there. I wanted to explode. I wanted to break down and cry. He starts talking about me like I am not there. I want to attack him. But I didn't I stood there silently and eventually resumed my tasks. I then spent the next six hours calmly doing my work in silence. And then I watched thei pharmacist go out of his way to tutor the other(all female) students and continue to give me rude responses when I asked simple questions. I even apologzed and the end of the day. He wasn't rude, but he wasn't terribly interested in what I had to say.

I have had this situation before. I am a good worker and I expect that to talk for me and it never does. People only notice whatever the last complaint about you was. I am afraid all my schooling and work will now come down to this guy and his opinion. Sometimes I feel I have come along way because I am working eight hours a day in a bust store dealing with people all day. Other times I feel I am that same shut-in loser who can't talk to people because he is terrified he is going to break into tears. I don't know. Am I a good worker who had a bad day and met up with the wrong supervisor? Does the fact that I just took it all and went in friendship at the end of the day say something mature about me? Or does the fact that I took it all, came home and started crying, complained on an internet group, and was terrified to face someone because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to control my emotions mean i am still that anxiety ridden loser I always thought I am

You're a sensible, sane, reasonable person who is confused by the actions of someone who treated you poorly without giving just cause, and since it mystifies you as to why someone can be that way towards others who have done them no harm, you seek solace and an answer, that maybe you are not alone in these feelings. So you are neither "stoic" nor a "pussy", your reaction is normal and no you are not alone.

 

[JonathonWally]

As an intern you're at his mercy, so you didn't have much of a choice. If you were on a more even footing then you would have more options.

He knew that to and most likely was taking advantage of that situation. He probably gets stepped on elsewhere so he takes it out on people who don't have a choice.

Weak people and shitty managers do that kind of thing.

You could take it further even, him favoring the women like that could mean that he's completely inept when it comes to women out of the workplace, so he does that at work where they're forced to not only give him the time of day, but are in a situation where they have to be subservient to him.

You've posted your picture before, you look like a physically imposing guy, was he smaller than you? He could have been intimidated by you and that could have been his motivation.

Next time, something like this happens. Cross your arms, broaden your shoulders, puff out your chest, stare hard. It'll most likely trigger an immediate fear response out of him.

 

[captcalhoun]

sounds like a right wanker

 

[RJDiogenes]

It was definitely a good idea not to make a scene, as that could only lead to difficulties. You need to report this guy's behavior to someone, preferably whoever is in charge of your internship.

 

[TheBrew]

Next time you make a mistake, just say "I was only doing what you told me to."

 

[Rett Mikhal]

Well as the Joker famously said:

"All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day."

So, take pride in the fact you didn't lose control. Strength is not always measured in the same units when it comes to people. I personally think you're a stronger man than he is for not going to his level.

Plus, remember my formula for how big an asshole someone is:

S = A/P

Where S is the size of the asshole (0-infinite)
A is the amount the person abuses their power
and P is the amount of power they actually have.

So your guy seems to fall into the very huge range, considering he's just one pharmacist and not a leader of any kind, and abuses his "power" to try to hit on women that are most likely a fraction of his age.

 

[Mr Awe]

It does sound like the guy was rude and unhelpful. But, there are other issues going on here. It's not normal to want to break down and cry so much. For this reason, and others that you mention. If you feel this way regularly, you should seek professional help. I don't mean this rudely at all.

Yes, the situation was irritating but this type of thing will happen throughout life. It's a part of life. You have to be stable enough to handle it. You should not have felt like crying and not so flustered because of it. By falling apart like that you're just giving him more ammo.

It sounds like at the very least you have self-esteem issues. I realize that it's not easy to just say that you won't react that way the next time. That's why you should seek help now. This sort of thing will happen throughout life. Get ready now.

Mr Awe

 

[propita]

I asked Hubby, since he's a pharmacist who has worked with pharmacy techs and interns--and is teaching a pharmacy tech class.

He says (well, a lot of cliched advice): Take it, learn from it, and move on with your head held high. You handled things correctly and were the mature one.

I say: Be proud of yourself that, when you were repeatedly provoked, you did not succumb to calling him an f**king asshole, but were professional. There are a lot of male pharmacists that just love having pretty female techs around (Hubby had four, but he had inherited them from one such pharmacist, and sought to get rid of most, but wasn't allowed).

It does sound like you're a good worker running into f**king assholes--there's a lot of them out there--unless you can, after looking honestly at yourself, say that you have an unrealistically good opinion of yourself and your work.

You say that you're putting a lot of effort and emotion into this. Of course you are, it's your future. Don't worry about how you reacted afterwards, that was just a release of all the pent up emotions and was probably a healthy thing to do.

Now go back and do the best you can. Realize that you only have to get through this internship. If you have the opportunity, watch how the other pharmacists, particularly the ones you think are good, interact and treat this one. If they minimize their contact or are sarcastic, then you know that he's an asshole all around and you're just being intimidated by his position.

Keep treating him with respect while there and remember, it'll be over and you'll be done soon.

 

[trampledamage]

You're in a very stressful situation with a lot riding on completing the internship successfully, so I agree with the others - well done for keeping your emotions inside. Working silently while you calm down is a good option.

You'll be able to be prepared now for next time you're working with that pharmacist. Some people are just useless at training other people. So on days that you are working with this guy - concentrate hard on your regular tasks and don't expect to learn anything on that day.

 

[Deckerd]

You get tossers in all walks of life. You just have to learn to live with it. Truth is, it's not worth getting upset about it.

 

[Mr Awe]

(Hubby had four, but he had inherited them from one such pharmacist, and sought to get rid of most, but wasn't allowed).

I hope he didn't try to get rid of them just because they were young and pretty? If they're qualified, they should be allowed to stay. At any rate, he's probably just saying that to appease you!

Mr Awe

 

[JiNX-01]

Yes.

^ Oh for heaven's sake.

Rage, it's wise to demonstrate restraint when dealing with with a supervisor no matter how big an ass he is.

Your work has been praised by others. If there is a pharmacist on staff you feel can confide in -- watch how they interact to be sure that whoever you pick isn't a buddy of this jerk -- mention the incident (especially if you've had problems with him before).

 

[Kestra]

Good work on not (outwardly) handling the situation emotionally. Always stay professional in a situation at work, even if the other parties involved do not.

It sounds like you were making some mistakes, so some criticism may be valid. Some of it is probably just the guy being a jerk. Try to look at your work and see how you can improve, because you're there to do a good job and learn. So focus on that, and be civil to your co-workers. Even if they're not polite back to you, even if things aren't fair. Focus on your work and improving.

On the emotional side, you do need to develop a thicker skin but I've probably got the thinnest skin around so I'm not one to talk. I guess just remember that life isn't fair and you need to make the most of all your experiences, because no one is looking out for your best interest. It's up to you to do that. Good luck in everything!

 

[propita]

(Hubby had four, but he had inherited them from one such pharmacist, and sought to get rid of most, but wasn't allowed).

I hope he didn't try to get rid of them just because they were young and pretty? If they're qualified, they should be allowed to stay. At any rate, he's probably just saying that to appease you!

Mr Awe

Let's see:

One was good, accurate and fast. He'd keep her.

One was slow and made some mistakes, but had a decent attitude. He'd consider keeping her.

One was good, then copped an attitude and became a bitch, had a catfight with another tech, and basically lost interest in actually doing her job. She said that it didn't matter if she made mistakes because the pharmacist was to catch each and every one of them--she would not do her job because he was to do it.

One was good, then had a catfight with the other, divorced her husband (who came and yelled at her in the store until removed by security), repeatedly came to work on meds and/or alcohol, was arrested for breaking and entering on her now-ex-husband's place and battery --whom she had up on charges for rape--twice--which were later admitted to be false, made enough serious (potentially fatal) errors that she should've been fired, etc, etc.

Even when documenting stuff, the store manager overruled Hubby, giving the last two techs free rein to refuse to work competently without consequences.


Hubby got tired of the drama. Last time we were there, literally 8 or 9 non-pharmacy personnel asked him to return.

 

[MetalPants]

Rageforthemachine, I don't know you or your background, but I'm going to offer you my take on these things.

Until today. One of the pharmacists I don't usually interact with was there. The whole thing started with me asking a simple question and started snowballing. He told me to not bother him with my little questions and to go away.

How much training have you had? If it was a simple question, as you said, shouldn't you have known the answer?

I was a little taken aback and a little flustered.

This got you worked up??? Wait until you have a customer complaining and cussing at you for not giving them 'Drug X'.

You see one thing I have tended to observe about this pharmacy is they seem to have hit on the idea of offering a lot of internships to local students as a supply of free labor so at times they are more interested in you working for them rather than them teaching you.

Makes some smart business sense. It also allows you to get practical experience about "the real world".

Anyway I got flustered. I made mistakes. The more mistakes I made the ruder the pharmacist got. He then just said he didn't want me to work there anymore.

If you are handling my medicine, do you think I am going to care if you had a bad day? If you make a mistake with someone's medicine, do you think they will forgive you because you had a bad day? What if you killed someone by mixing something wrong? What type of bad day would you have then?

I wanted to run out of there. I wanted to explode. I wanted to break down and cry. He starts talking about me like I am not there. I want to attack him. But I didn't I stood there silently and eventually resumed my tasks. I then spent the next six hours calmly doing my work in silence.

So you felt bad after someone pointed out your mistakes in a pharmacy. Again, wait until a customer calls your mother a crack whore, your father a horsefucker, and tells you that you are the reason all the children are going to burn in hell all because you didn't make them happy. How will that affect your performance? (And yes, I've had customers tell me those things before.)

And then I watched thei pharmacist go out of his way to tutor the other(all female) students and continue to give me rude responses when I asked simple questions. I even apologzed and the end of the day. He wasn't rude, but he wasn't terribly interested in what I had to say.

Yeah, people get different treatment because of any number of factors. Not always fair, but it is life.


Now again, take all of this for what it is worth. A random guy on an internet message board that knows nothing about you, has his own opinions, and has worked in the retail industry for eleven soul-crushing years.

 

[FordSVT]

Well as the Joker famously said:

"All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day."

To play Devil's Advocate, that would also apply to the pharmacist too, would it not? Maybe he was just having a bad day.... doesn't really sound like it, but you never know.

I'd let it go for now, but if he continues to treat you poorly perhaps you could ask someone at your college for advice on how to handle the situation. If they have a partnership with this facility you work at, I doubt they'd like to hear about such behaviour from someone who works there. But he hasn't actually done anything to harm your career at this point, so I'd just go about your business until he decides to be a dick to you again.

 

[Capn Flukie]

@ MetalPants ^ I got a called a motherfucker by a student because we ran out of bus passes.

 

[JonathonWally]

@ MetalPants ^ I got a called a motherfucker by a student because we ran out of bus passes.

I'd have just been like: "A motherfucker with a bus pass"