Just under a year away

[Finn]

It's the 29th of May. I'll be married next year on May 28th. When I first proposed to the future Miss Finn, the wedding seemed far off, so we had time to do the planning and get things done. It was early in June last year.

A year has passed. We have done a lot of things done with. We reserve the church and the reception site. We picked out the wedding party, the songs, the photographer, family friends who will play music instruments at the ceremony, picked a cater (these Japanese steaks were to die for), a place for the rehearsal dinner and the location for our honeymoon (Boston).

We haven't finalized it, but we have been looking at tuxedos and dresses. Of course, she won't tell me about the dress, other than "looking at them with friends or her mom".

We still have the cake, the invitations, the flowers, gift registration, transportation, decoration, a DJ/rest of the music to do. I'm not sure if I've forgetten something

So here I am, a year left of being a bachelor. I have a busy summer ahead. I got a teaching job at an inner city school for their summer program and I have no teaching experience. I won't even start practicum or student teaching until this coming academic year so it's a lot to take in. And she will hopefully start her new job if she gets it, at another inner city school that is actually next door to the university. I think it will be an amazing year ahead.

Any tips or stories from some of you who have through this?

 

[Dukat's Major]

Hey Finn, congratulations! This is such an exciting time. Myself and Mr. Dukat's Major (otherwise known as SPOCKED) just celebrated our first anniversary, so the whole wedding process is still pretty fresh in my memory. We were engaged for a year and a half pretty much out of necessity---reserving the hall, getting dresses, etc all took time!

So the 'busy' part of the pre-wedding wait hasn't really started happening for you yet, but starts ramping into higher gear about 5 - 6 months before the wedding starts. And with it, stress, but as long as you can get through that period you're golden That's when travel plans are finalized, cake is ordered, DJ/music arrangements are made, photographers enlisted.

One thing to make sure to have: A finalized list of all attendees and names and addresses. Then when you send out thank you notes for the wedding/shower gifts, you have an easy system off of which to go. That list saved my butt more than once!

Then there's coordination with the hall---where should the flowers be, where should the cake be, what will the schedule look like (i.e., cake & champagne first or later? How long is the toast? When are the important dances scheduled? And so on). We didn't have a DJ, but there will be coordination matters with the DJ, too. I think the event coordination is really the source of the most stress, but things usually work themselves out in the end, regardless.

Again, congratulations! We got married May 16, it's just such a beautiful year to get married. And Boston can't be lovelier this time of year --- take a duck boat tour, walk along the Charles, stroll through the Common, go down the to waterfront for fresh seafood, do the historical tours (which are usually very pretty and interesting), shop on Newbury St, pop by Harvard Square, etc.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Again, congratulations! We got married May 16,

Happy Anniversary!

it's just such a beautiful year to get married. And Boston can't be lovelier this time of year --- take a duck boat tour, walk along the Charles, stroll through the Common, go down the to waterfront for fresh seafood, do the historical tours (which are usually very pretty and interesting), shop on Newbury St, pop by Harvard Square, etc.

Yes, Honeymooning in Boston will guarantee a long and happy marriage. In addition to all the above activities, visit the Museum of Science and see my Tyrannosaurus Rex (why is it mine? Because back in the 60s it was just a head hanging trophy-like on the wall; but I dutifully put my one dollar donation in the box on every visit and eventually they could afford to build a body for him ).

 

[trampledamage]

In addition to all the above activities, visit the Museum of Science and see my Tyrannosaurus Rex (why is it mine? Because back in the 60s it was just a head hanging trophy-like on the wall; but I dutifully put my one dollar donation in the box on every visit and eventually they could afford to build a body for him ).

Completely irrelevant to the subject at hand, but that is such a neat story - someone (tsq... ) should write a children's picture book of it.


Back on track, Finn - good luck with the rest of the arrangements, I wish I could offer helpful advice but mr trampledamage and I deliberately didn't do most of that stuff for our wedding because I didn't want the stress of organising it! If it hadn't been for the fact we were the first children to get married for both sides of the family, we probably would have just eloped.

 

[Finn]

Hey Finn, congratulations! This is such an exciting time. Myself and Mr. Dukat's Major (otherwise known as SPOCKED) just celebrated our first anniversary, so the whole wedding process is still pretty fresh in my memory. We were engaged for a year and a half pretty much out of necessity---reserving the hall, getting dresses, etc all took time!

Congratulations!

So the 'busy' part of the pre-wedding wait hasn't really started happening for you yet, but starts ramping into higher gear about 5 - 6 months before the wedding starts. And with it, stress, but as long as you can get through that period you're golden That's when travel plans are finalized, cake is ordered, DJ/music arrangements are made, photographers enlisted.

So I've been told

One thing to make sure to have: A finalized list of all attendees and names and addresses. Then when you send out thank you notes for the wedding/shower gifts, you have an easy system off of which to go. That list saved my butt more than once!

Yeah. We recently had an engagement party, and we lost track of who was the one who gave us a $20 bill so there's a guest somewhere who will be the only one who won't get a thank you card

Then there's coordination with the hall---where should the flowers be, where should the cake be, what will the schedule look like (i.e., cake & champagne first or later? How long is the toast? When are the important dances scheduled? And so on). We didn't have a DJ, but there will be coordination matters with the DJ, too. I think the event coordination is really the source of the most stress, but things usually work themselves out in the end, regardless.

We are having those carnival popcorn boxes (plastic, not actual ones) as centerpieces. We actually saw some at a Target store (well after we decided on those)

Again, congratulations! We got married May 16, it's just such a beautiful year to get married. And Boston can't be lovelier this time of year --- take a duck boat tour, walk along the Charles, stroll through the Common, go down the to waterfront for fresh seafood, do the historical tours (which are usually very pretty and interesting), shop on Newbury St, pop by Harvard Square, etc.

Thank you. I'll keep all that in mind. We were in Boston last summer, only for one night so we didn't get to see much.

Agreed about TSQ writing about RJDiogenes' T-Rex, complete with a movie crew in the museum and a group of second graders touring the place.

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

We celebrated 16 years on May 28th. Before our wedding someone told me that the wedding service was the only thing that was for us. Everything else that took place was for family and friends. I thought about that and paid extra attention to the ceremony, and it was the only time it was really just about the two of us.

The rehearsal dinner, the reception, they were more about us and family and friends and making sure we saw everybody, thanked them for coming, took pictures, cut the cake, drank a toast, and so on.

During the ceremony, the entire focus is on both of you and both of you only.

Good luck, the time will fly by.

 

[Kestra]

Try to just enjoy being with each other and talk about the wedding as little as possible. Too many people think short term about keeping their sanity for the wedding, and forget that they need copious amounts of it for the marriage after.

I'm an ex-wedding planner, so if you find yourself in a pinch or stressing about something, you can always PM me and I'll help if I can!

 

[Colonel Green]

This may come as a surprise to some (given what a jerk I am) but I actually work at a historic site which does about 100 weddings a year, most of which I help organize and run the rehearsals for. A few tips based on years of experience:

Pick someone responsible to gather the gifts at the end of the day and instruct them to tape the cards/tags to the gifts, otherwise half of them will disappear or get separated from the gift and you won't know who gave you what, if anything.

Try not to invite anyone to the rehearsal who doesn't absolutely have to be there, things will go much more smoothly and they can still come to the dinner. MAKE SURE YOUR OFFICIAL IS WILLING TO COME, as many aren't.

Keep bridesmaids and groomsmen to a minimum if possible. If you get into a situation where you feel obligated to ask Lisa because you asked Sara, and of course Lucy will be offended if you ask them but not her, and then there's Betsy... consider just going with a Best Man and Maid of Honour. It will make your life much easier.

Start the ceremony at least 5 mins late, preferably 10. Drunk uncle Mike WILL be late and make all sorts of noise coming in. Even if you start 10 mins late, some people probably still won't make it in time, but they're be fewer of them.

Do NOT get drunk the night before the wedding. Hold your bachelor party at least a couple days in advance.

Do not get drunk immediately before the wedding. A nip of courage or two is acceptable, but eat a mint.

Try to keep your moms at arms length during the planning process. In my experience, Bridezilla's are fairly rare. Mother of the Bridezilla? About 1 in 3. Wedding planning can do strange things to otherwise normal parents.

I'm sure I'll think of some more stuff later...

We are having those carnival popcorn boxes (plastic, not actual ones) as centerpieces. We actually saw some at a Target store (well after we decided on those)

This is a cool idea

*edit* Oh! Bubbles make an excellent rice/confetti alternative. I once saw a groom get rice in his eye, not pretty

 

[SmoothieX]

It's the 29th of May. I'll be married next year on May 28th. When I first proposed to the future Miss Finn, the wedding seemed far off, so we had time to do the planning and get things done. It was early in June last year.

A year has passed. We have done a lot of things done with. We reserve the church and the reception site. We picked out the wedding party, the songs, the photographer, family friends who will play music instruments at the ceremony, picked a cater (these Japanese steaks were to die for), a place for the rehearsal dinner and the location for our honeymoon (Boston).

I get to move out of the Boston area next June 1. So I'll just miss you on your trip here. That's ok, I can't wait to escape to someplace hopefully a little more rural.

*edit* Oh! Bubbles make an excellent rice/confetti alternative. I once saw a groom get rice in his eye, not pretty

We did bubbles at my wedding as it was in the middle of a national park. So they didn't want food being tossed around for fear that it would attract animals. Wouldn't want the next guy getting married to get trampled by a moose.

 

[JonathonWally]

Jump on a plane to Vegas, get married by Elvis, go on Honeymoon.


Cut out all that hassle.

 

[Finn]

^The future Miss Finn doesn't want to set a foot in Vegas because she said she would be bored in the casinos. I tried to tell her that there are other things to do like exhibits and shows and other attractions close to the city. She was like meh.

Oh well. At least I've been to Vegas, at the same time we were "celebrating" the 25th annisversary of Elvis' death. There were impressators all over the place. And yes, I saw the Star Trek Experience.

 

[SmoothieX]

I'd be bored to tears there as well. Not to mention wilting in the heat.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Yeah, if it wasn't for the STE i would have been bored to tears in Vegas as well.

FINN, congratulations! This year will probably go pretty fast for you guys. But not as fast as the wedding day and reception. All that planning and stress and the day/evening go by so fast!

 

[SmoothieX]

We had a real low key, small wedding. It made planning for it exciting rather than stressful. Plus we did a destination wedding, which cuts down on the number of guests.

 

[propita]

Hubby and I are coming up on 23 years together (14 of them legally married) on June 6th.

The wedding advice we were given by a counselor was:

To Hubby: "Do whatever she wants, this is the only wedding either or you will have." He had great confidence in our staying together.

To Me: "Don't be so practical, this is the only wedding either or you will have." I was known for preferring function to form. Not so much now.

Our wedding was very small, so I don't have other personal advice. I love the advice about taping the cards to the gifts--make sure you have tape handy. And it sounds like your reception is going to be fun! How nice! Stuffy and proper weddings are so typical, and a fun wedding need not be outlandish, just "slightly askew."

 

[RJDiogenes]

In addition to all the above activities, visit the Museum of Science and see my Tyrannosaurus Rex (why is it mine? Because back in the 60s it was just a head hanging trophy-like on the wall; but I dutifully put my one dollar donation in the box on every visit and eventually they could afford to build a body for him ).

Completely irrelevant to the subject at hand, but that is such a neat story - someone (tsq... ) should write a children's picture book of it.

Heh. I never thought of that, but you're right; that would make a cool kid's book.

Come to think of it, I'm surprised I never wrote a poem or something about it....