I was so conflicted about this movie. Obviously, a lot about it is pathetic and stupid. The CGI is terrible and there's some truly appalling acting, particularly from Channing Tatum, Rachel Nichols, and Marlon Wayans. I'm no acting expert, but the acting here was so wooden, I couldn't help but cringe. It's especially noticeable in such a big movie. Channing Tatum's acting and character are shameful. He is one of the worst lead actors I have ever seen in a movie (I haven't seen him in any other movie), and Duke was horribly written. He's supposedly the leader in the group and I suppose then by default the main character and he was just so bland.
I guess they spent all the dough on CGI, so they couldn't afford a lot of good actors, but the actors don't deserve all the blame. The writing was wretched too. On the other hand, I really liked the villains and the simplicity of the story. It was basically "group of bad guys want to take over the world with crazy weapon", "group of good guys try to stop them in series of over the top battles". A perfect basic cartoon-like story line, just as it should be. I appreciate that. I actually prefer it over the convoluted plot machinations of summer blockbusters like
"The Dark Knight" or
"Spider-Man 3" where they muck up the plot with so many things going on at once that it becomes tiresome. The lame, cliche flashbacks trying to connect all the characters (completely unnecessary) sucked, though.
I saw a lot of potential in the first movie. The simplicity of the plot was a breath of fresh air, and I thought Christopher Eccleson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt were deliciously over-the-top as villains. I especially liked Levitt. His cartoon super villain voice was awesome...I just wish they hadn't changed it at the end (and put him in a stupid mask).
I would love to see a sequel where the heroes have better dialogue and performances, a similarly straightforward story, and no more shitty flashbacks in place of character development. The fact that they got new writers who are supposedly good at what they do (based on what I've heard about
"Zombieland") gives me hope that this movie could realize the potential of its predecessor.
All it has to do is keep the few things that worked and get rid of the many, many things that didn't. And give Cobra a mask that doesn't look so dumb. I know they didn't want to follow the comics look because he wore a KKKish mask, but I don't see why they can't give him the helmet with the blank mask covering his face.
There are a few problems that may be impossible to solve, though. I don't know how they can make a good movie as long as they're stuck with Tatum in the lead. Unless they replace him or the writers massively improve that character at the script level so that no actor could fuck it up no matter how bad their acting is, Duke seems pretty hopeless. I also think it was completely idiotic to turn Baroness, one of the leading baddies, into a goody two shoes in the end (as was connecting her, Duke, and Cobra in flashback). I don't know how they can write themselves out of that one, although a possible way has been suggested above.
The cliffhanger with Zartan was fun, though. I'm anxious to see how they follow it up. I think it makes a good starting point. I'm not a huge G.I. Joe fan (never read the comics and don't remember ever watching the show), but just for the sake of variety, I'd also like to see the heroes and villains in more colourful outfits more akin to what they wore in cartoons and comics (I've seen pictures). This 'realistic' X-Men movies-type matching boring black outfits shit should stop (except for on the girls, where the skin tight outfits look fabulous)
.
