PICARD: Now THAT is what I call dropping an M-80 into a pipe.
Movie Caption Contest #140: The Revent of Special FX, Part Two!
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PICARD: Now THAT is what I call dropping an M-80 into a pipe.
DEANNA: Did anyone find my nude pictures of Will with the trombone in provocative positions?
LaForge: *shouting* "LISTEN UP, PEOPLE! COUNSELOR TROI IS LOOKING FOR HER PICTURES OF COMMANDER RIKER GIVING HER THE RUSTY TROMBONE!"
"Direct hit on the Klingon flagship!!! Spock, if you'd be as kind as to update the score board?"
"Indeed, Captain. The running score is now 1046 to 10 in favour of yourself. That last shot earned you 200 points. You are sure Starfleet Command authorized this?
"Quite sure".
Picard: "Let me guess... basement level having a chilli cook off and your dropped your cigarette?"
Ru'Afo: "Nothing gets past you, does it?"
"Mr Spock, would you give the court your impression of Mr. Gorkon?
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006893/"I'm sorry, I don't do impressions... my training is in psychiatry."
Huh, dunno how I missed that.
HAWK: It's only a model.
PICARD: Shhhhh!
^^^ Beat ya to it.
Hawk: "It's only a model!"
Picard/Worf: "Shut up, Hawk!"
SPOCK: I will remain here with my back turned to the events on the viewscreen. That way...when the eventual court martial of the bridge crew takes place...I can honestly say I did not witness the destruction of the Chancellor's vessel.
GEORDI: Great. Half the damn ship BLOWS UP...the rest crash-lands in a bunch of huge trees...and the biggest worry most of these people have is DO the holodecks still work?!
DATA(Knocking on hull panel)
Hello? Good evening...I am with the Galactic Church of Positronic Consciousness and I would like to share with you a message about the wonders of neural nets. May I come inside your vessel and share some PADD materials with you?
Look on the bright side, Mister Chekov. When history is eventually changed none of these tragic events will have happened...and you will have slightly less ridiculous hair.
"Valeris, your suggestion of a Klingon Bird of Prey is both non-plausible and whimsical. I can not even begin to explain how disappointed I am in your actions on this ship"
Spock: I've called you all here to the Accusing Bridge for a very important reason. One of you is a Klingon Torpedo Firer!
Valeris: I'm Acting Astonished!
Riker: Deanna, you know if you wanted to organize a camping trip, you didn't have to crash the saucer section.
Hawk: I'm getting tired. Can I just get assimilated and get it over with?
Picard: No.
Hawk: Why not?
Worf: Because I'm gonna shoot you too.
Picard: This is an apt metaphor for what happened after the Enterprise Crew visited the All You Can Eat Burrito Planet.
John Logan: This will be Data's final heroic moment. The fans will remember it forever.
Brent Spiner: Couldn't I have taken a Shuttle and attacked the Scimitar?
John Logan: Shut up.
Brent Spiner: Or that Scorpion Attack ship?
John Logan: Shut up!
Brent Spiner: Or since this is supposed to be the most powerful ship in starfleet, shouldn't it have a huge supply of Quantum Torpedoes that we haven't even used yet?
John Logan: SHUT UP!
Spock: If we can not have fired those torpedoes, someone else did.
Scotty: They dinnae fire on themselves.
Spock: Go to the videotape Chekov.
Scotty: Well, I'll be... They did fire on themselves!
Picard: She's still insured right Number One?
Riker: Uh-oh.
Picard: I just can't go anywhere nice.
Ru'afo: Don't feel too bad Captain. After all who doesn't go to a new place and activate the Self-Destruct?
Data: Data to Enterprise.
Picard: Go ahead Data.
Data: It is true Sir, after going through the dryer, 20 percent of our socks are transported away by Romulans.
Picard: "The Romulan Ambassador said Deanna should never man the helm. If she does so again would result in a disaster"
Data: "Twenty bars of Latinum says you're wrong, sir"
Data: "Excuse me, I have twenty bars of Latinum for the Romulan Ambassador, if someone could pass them on that would be great"
RIKER: HEY!!! Deanna...look!!
I think that's Bigfoot over there walking in the middle of those trees!!
(*embarrassed pause*)
Oh.
Sorry, Worf.
Though extremely dangerous for all involved, Data somehow pulled off the best "flaming bag of poo on the neighbor's doorstep" gag in recorded history.
What have we learned here today, gentlemen?
That...if nothing else...the Klingon Empire STILL falls for the "banana in the tailpipe" prank after all these centuries.
MacGRUBER!!!
The Next Generation
Coming to a channel near you in 2011
Data to Picard.
The enemy schematics we uploaded from B-4s neural net were incorrect. The hull of the Scimitar is NOT Windows- or Java-compatible!
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