There are Iranians still around who remember the U.S. siding with Saddam Hussein in the Iran-Iraq war that killed nearly a million of their people, yet even with them there are elements pushing for some kind of peace process.
Grudges of old men do not a foreign policy make.
Yeah, but do the Iranians have a depiction of the results of that war in their place of government like the Romulans do of the result of the Earth-Romulan War?
That kinda depends. How do the Romulans think of the Earth-Romulan War? Do we even know?
In some ways we were lead to believe the Romulans were totally humiliated and held a generational grudge that makes "Philippines and Japan" look like Rocky and Bullwinkle. But we never do find out for sure; for all we know most Romulans remember the war as "That stupid war that Praetor Valdore started just to divert attention away from son's extramarital affairs."
There was a reference to a 'humiliating defeat at Cheron' in the Defector and the battle at Cheron has been placed at the end of the Earth-Romulan War.