Look at this, another review within a week. Progress.
Rise of the Cybermen (***)
Ah, Rise of the Cybermen. That's a nice title. Back in the old days, almost every serial used to be called "Action/Condition of the Enemy" or "The Noun of Noun". Or the like. So it's good to see that back. Even better, it's got my favourite Doctor Who villains, the Cybermen. So, this is some sort of origin story then? For my beloved Cybermen? On Mondas, right? Right? Let's get started.
So, we open in a lab, and Trigger from Only Fools is in there being introduced to a new invention type thing, with a brain and a metal body. This is one of those good scenes that gives us a lot of information in a short space of time. On the downside though, it ends with one of those hackneyed exchanges along the lines of:
Villain: "And now you will have to die."
Poor Sod: "I'm sorry, I don't follow."
*Villain brings about death of Poor Sod*
In this case, Professor Poor Sod is killed by having the as yet unnamed robotman putting its arm on him, and electocuting him through it. There's an ability you wouldn't want to be used by accident. Don't shake hands with one, just in case. All the more terrifyingly, Trigger (or Lumic as he's actually called) is about to "set sail" for Great Britain.
And it occurs to me now that I've never reviewed the title sequence. Well it's good, I like it. The Tardis buzzing around that vortex and time stopping briefly so we get a close look. Can't say I'm quite so fond of the theme. I'm not Murray Gold's biggest fan (though I don't dislike his work either, rather I think he just needs reining in in places), but I do like the busy orchestralness. For me, the problem is I think the sampling of the original theme is too low in the mix, making it less recognisable as a theme. But that's just me.
So, here we are in the Tardis. The Doctor and Rose are joking about old times and ignoring Mickey. Poor Mickey. Then the Tardis starts blowing up, some safety masks fall from the ceiling like on an aeroplane (could have done without that), and apparently the Tardis just died. While the Doctor goes on about how they're now trapped in some lost dimension, Mickey (trying to earn back his nickname of "the idiot") just goes and opens the door. Luckily enough for him (and us, considering I'd rather not have a whole episode of the Doctor and Rose laughing together like a pair of hyenas while Mickey looks miserable), it's London outside. Also helpfully, there's a clean copy of that day's paper sitting right at the top of a bin. It's the 1st of February that year. Only there are loads of dirigibles in the sky. Meaning they're in that old sci-fi chestnut, a parallel universe. No Mondas then. So no proper Cybermen. Meaning I won't have the same goodwill towards this episode as I did towards Dalek, because they're only Cybermen in name. Doesn't mean it can't be good though.
Also conveniently (beating even that clean newpaper at the top of a clean bin), there's a poster right in front of them with Rose's dad Pete on it. Which is the last thing I want. Rose's daddy issues were dealt with in Father's Day (which was admittedly decent), but I'm not especially interested in another 2 parter of them. After all, this is Rose of series 2. In series 1, despite being about as bright as rubber, she was still a reasonably likeable character. In series 2 however, she's actually become quite unlikeable. Bitching at Sarah Jane, treating Mickey like she clearly doesn't want him around, all this bloody near-romance with the Doctor. I've gone from indifference to actively disliking her. This may seem beside the point, but when there's a character I don't like dealing with issues I've already had my fill of, it'll likely affect the episode adversely for me.
But anyway, here's another thing: this poster. It's Pete selling some healthy drink. But here's the thing: how many people who run their own companies actually appear on their posters? I mean, he's by no means an ugly man, but if you have someone on a picture for such a product at all, it's usually a young and pretty person. Or else you just have a sexy pic of the product itself with some slogan. Of course, we could write it off as this being the way things are advertised on this parallel world and you get Bill Gates and whoever runs Coca-Cola (assuming it's not actually owned by Santa) on posters as well, but it's still a plot convenient parallel world if this is the case. You'd soon grow tired of posters that talk at you whenever you stand near them as well. Especially if you ever have to wait at a bus stop, the last thing you want is Alan Sugar's face expanded to three feet and telling you his latest Amstrad is "bloody good, and I'm no bullshitter". Anyway the Doctor, despite fancying her, tells Rose how he's not properly her dad, and to leave it. Which I'm sure she will. She's no idiot. And this is really Mondas.
Next scene, and a shiny car's pulling up to a big house, the number plateof which reads "PETE 1". Wonder who this could be. Sure enough, out comes Pete with a fairly unimpressive bunch of flowers, and he goes in and meets Jackie. It's her birthday so there's a party being arranged for that night. And they've got a dog called Rose. Ha ha. Also, everyone's got silly silver globes in their ears. Which, of course, is much more convenient than having to lift a mobile phone to the side of your head. Lumic then phones Pete, and tells him his plans have advanced. He's meeting the President of Great Britain. See, it's a parallel world, so we have a President. Pete has to come to the meeting, even though it's Jackie's birthday. Though frankly, if I were married to her, I'd try and be at as many meetings as possible. After their friendly chat, Lumic overrides Jackie's ear pods and gets the security arrangements for her party. Out of her brain, I presume. See, people would have to be bloody stupid to have machinery linked into their brains all the time. Unless this is a special feature of Jackie's ear pod, which she did say Lumic gave her as a present. I suppose we'll find out. Also, while Lumic was getting this data, the ear pods made a sort of Cyberman-like head tube thing. Which may be a bit obvious, but I like it all the same. Then Lumic contacts one of his henchmen, saying he needs more staff, and to go on a recruitment drive. Sinister.
Back with the lead characters, Rose wanders off outside, and Mickey joins the Doctor in the dark and dead Tardis. The Doctor proceeds to act slightly unpleasantly towards him. And what I said earlier about Rose in this series seems to apply to the Doctor a bit as well. In New Earth and The Girl in the Fireplace he wasn't especially likeable, which is the last thing you want from the Doctor. Still, at least it's not as bad as Eccleston going on about "blundering apes", all the while looking like he belongs in a bookies rather than travelling through time and space (which, to digress even further, may explain why most stories that series happened on Earth). Rose has gone to sit on a bench, and then her phone rings. Apparently, in this world the news phones you. The Doctor's got his nice personality in again, and explains to Mickey why the Tardis is dead. The Tardis draws its energy from the universe (whatever happened to Zeiton-7?), and because they're in the wrong universe, it's the wrong kind of energy. Let's pretend that makes sense. When the Time Lords were around, hopping between universes wasn't much trouble, but now it should be impossible. So how they are there is a mystery. Then the Doctor notices there's a little light still on in the Tardis. Which means they've got a little power after all. If nothing else, they should be able to boil the Tardis kettle.
Meanwhile, Mr Crane (Lumic's aforementioned henchman) has gone to invite some poor homeless into his lorry with the promise of lots of free food. Everyone goes in, except for that one off Byker Grove who's not Ant or Dec, and he films the gullible homeless being driven off.
Next we see, the Doctor has pulled the working power cell out, but can't charge it from that universe because it's the wrong sort of energy (erm, alright). So he breathes on it instead. I suppose there's a precedent for the Doctor being full of energy (The Christmas Invasion), but I was under the impression that was only due to his recent regeneration. Instead now, it turns out Time Lords are always full of incredible energy. Well, why not. He did a mind meld in the last episode, so let's just add this to the list of things the Doctor can be that help the plot. He also says this cost him 10 years of his life. Whether this means he should have visibly aged was something I was going to criticise, but after thinking about it, then if we go by what I think - that the Doctor lies about his age these days and was actually 900 in his sixth incarnation as was stated in Revelation of the Daleks - and considering he almost always doesn't regenerate when truly old, then perhaps a single standard Time Lord regeneration actually lasts for 200-300 years before old age necessitates a new regeneration, so 10 years off that wouldn't be a very noticeable difference after all. I know it's largely irrelevant in the scheme of this episode, but I don't see much harm in discussing other aspects of Doctor Who as they come up. So this power cell's now on a recharge cycle, and after 24 hours plugging it into the Tardis will make it work again. Of course, that doesn't make sense much sense at all and just gives the reason for them hanging around (leaving it plugged into the Tardis to charge the whole thing would at least make slightly more sense), but if I look into the details of every sentence like this, I'll be 900 before I'm done.
Now that her phone's logged in to that world's internet equivalent, Rose looks up Pete Tyler. Mickey and the Doctor come and tell her everything's been solved and they can leave in 24 hours, so she says she's found Pete's address and is going to go and see him. Which of course is stupid. Mickey then insists on going off on his own, telling the Doctor he knows he'll follow after Rose rather than him. Which I find quite effective, because (as you may expect of someone who writes long reviews of Doctor Who that nitpick every point) I've known before how it feels to be left out. It's quite a well acted and directed scene in all, the way the Doctor looks back and forth knowing that he obviously will go to Rose, and only calling to Mickey to meet him back there in 24 hours.
We briefly see Lumic's blimp comes in to land now, and the President of Great Britain (Don Warrington! No wonder everything's shiny and nice) and Pete come to meet him. They briefly discuss whether he's insane.
As Mickey wanders around, he walks past some soldiers at some kind of checkpoint (though they just let him past, so who knows what the point of that is), and he finds out there's a 10pm curfew. Maybe this parallel world isn't as nice as all that then. Meanwhile Rose and the Doctor are talking about him. How he was raised by his gran who died 5 years earlier, and the implication that they're a little harsh on him. Then everyone in the street apart from them stops still. They're getting lots of news through the the earpods, meaning they have to stop dead still apparently. Better not leave them in while driving then (which Pete did earlier). Mickey goes to see his gran, who is still alive and is blind, and apparently he's called Ricky in this world. Haha, remember how the Ninth Doctor used to call him Ricky, which was really funny? Haha, and sure enough... But it's quite sweet the way he talks with his gran. Only then a van pulls him off the street, and him off Byker Grove and an oldish woman talk at him like he's Ricky. They seem to be investigating the disappearing homeless and Cybus Industries (Lumic's company, which also runs the ear pods and downloads), and Mickey plays along at being Ricky. Less trouble that way, so he must hope.
Next, we see Lumic telling the President and Pete about his plans to build his robot men with people brains. The President's having none of it though. After he and Pete leave, Lumic gets on the line to Mr Crane. There's some dialogue that could have used some tweaking ("It's irresistible", "Then resist!"?), as he demonstrates how flashing ear pods turn the homeless people into people who'll take orders to turn right and left like an identity parade. Lumic then orders the upgrade, despite not having permission. He's dying y'see and he doesn't want to, so he's building metal bodies for brains to carry on in. Then there's quite a bleak scene as the screams and shouts of people being cut up have "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" played over it. It's quite a good scene actually, as we see shots of empty factory, and a clip of the cutting-up machinery. Quite effective. It zooms out to show Battersea Power Station at night, with zeppelins flying around it.
Following this, Team Ricky (as I'll call them until we get a better name) get out of their van, and go into some room where the real Ricky is. Rather than do a Star Trek VI style "not me you idiot, him!", Mickey just does his best worried face as they point their guns at him.
Then we get to the Doctor and Rose. They sneak into Jackie's party, using the psychic paper to pose as waiters. So during this time, the Doctor apparently decided it was a good idea after all for Rose to see the parallel world version of her parents. See, that doesn't hold up for me. It's obvious to anyone that it's a stupid idea, and yet there they are. For a start, they don't know that they don't have their own Rose, so imagine the trouble that could cause. Obviously that's not something the writer thought of (or else didn't think we'd notice), so we'll have to write it off as being because the Doctor fancies her. During this time, when the Doctor mentions he was talking to another waitress who pointed out that Don Warrington was the President, Rose immediately and irritatingly plays the jealous lover, and calls her thick. Which is beyond the pot calling the kettle black; it's the pot calling the kettle a pot.
Back down Cybus way, we get our clearest view yet of these new Cybermen. Not completely clear though. Lumic calls Mr Crane and tells him to prepare the factory and let the good work begin. And Team Ricky (or the Preachers as they call themselves) have Mickey tied to a chair and stripped down to his boxer shorts. After questioning who he is, they explain their plan to him to bring down Lumic. Though why they'd explain that to someone they suspect may be one of Lumic's agents is anyone's guess. Well, obviously it's for the audience's benefit really. They hear that Lumic's on the move, so they get in the mystery machine and follow.
At the party, the Doctor snoops around on an open, switched on, and unlocked laptop in an unlocked room, and Rose ends up talking to Pete. Probably wasn't a good idea to leave her alone. For some reason, Pete ends up telling her (to him, just a waitress) that him and Jackie are having marital problems and he's moved out. Then he wanders off to ask someone about Torchwood. Probably wants an acting gig on it. At the same time, the Preachers (I prefer Team Ricky) have followed to the house and see the Cybermen stomp out of the truck. As the Doctor watches the Lumic presentation on the laptop (though why it's on there, on the conveniently open and logged in laptop is anyone's guess), and Rose goes off to talk to Jackie. Jackie doesn't take the marital advice well. The Doctor now realises from the computer presentation that these are Cybermen goings on, and then they march up to the house and break the windows. The Doctor manages to explain what this version of Cybermen are to Rose, so we'll have to presume that he got the details from the computer just then, if we're to maintain continuity (because the origin of the real Cybermen is quite different). Of course, all this information being on this handy computer is problematic in itself, but we'll have to go with it.
So we see the Cybermen properly now. And they're really not a patch on the old ones. The proper ones were scary because they were quite close to being human. They had the human build, they had a sad humanish face, but they were also evil yet clever about it. This lot may as well be robots, the way they clunk around. There's no depth or menace about them, and nor do they seem intelligent as did the old ones. And not only do they talk with a silly computer voice, but "delete" is an awful catchphrase. And this isn't about me being resistant to any redesign of classic villains. I thought the updated Dalek was fantastic (even though they look a little ostentatious all being gold; I saw a gunmetal grey version of the redesigned Dalek once, and it looked even better).
A Cyberman says that everyone will get a free upgrade. When the President asks what happens if he refuses (after giving what I think is the first use of "I'm so, I'm so sorry " in the series, probably giving the Doctor the idea for his catchphrase), he gets the arm-shock treatment as shown in the teaser. So as people mill around screaming, the Cybermen start arm-electrocuting random people. But because they're heavy clunkers, they're not too quick about it.
The Doctor and Rose escape out of the window, only to see more Cybermen marching down the hill towards the house. Though there's only about 10 coming towards them in formation, and it would be quite easy to escape to the side. I'm guessing the budget wouldn't stretch to more costumes, allowing more Cybermen to really close in and make it look like there's no escape, but spacing them further apart could have conceivably improved the effect. I suppose we can assume there are meant to be more just off screen, but it looks a bit silly to have the Doctor and Rose run back to the house when it would seem easy enough to run to the side. Pete also makes it out of the window, so him, the Doctor, and Rose run around the building. There's another direction slip-up (of sorts), when the Doctor and Pete keep running further than they should near to some oncoming Cybermen, because though they're offscreen until the point they stop, they would logically have seen them sooner. As they run away, the Preachers run up and try firing at the Cybermen. Of course, this doesn't work because they're not using glitterguns. As they're all eventually closed in on, one of the surrounding Cybermen refuses the Doctor's surrender, and says "maximum deletion, delete, delete, delete!" like a bloody metal idiot. And there's our cliffhanger ending.
So, a good but not great episode in my view. There are more silly things in this episode than I'd like (the Doctor happily going along with Rose to see her parallel world parents, the handy open laptop, the Tardis power cell nonsense, the handy coincidence of the whole thing), and I've made my views clear on the whole Cyberman issue, but this is still worth the watch. It's got an impressive scope, and the bits involving Mickey (a character I like) gave him the spotlight I think he deserves, and added depth to the character. And what's more, I didn't notice any silly screwdriver at all. Of course, it's only really half of the story. It's the second part that'll really decide.
