(The Parting of the Ways review, part II)
Anyway, Rose ends up back in London. Mickey happened to be around the corner and heard the Tardis noise, so he comes running up to her.
Back on the Gamestation, Jack and the Doctor are chatting and the Emperor interrupts, and actually clears up something I mentioned earlier, which is a nice surprise. He says that while he knows there's every chance of the delta wave being ready to use, there's no chance of refining it, so using it would not only destroy the Daleks, but also the entire Earth. I'm glad to see that written in. It also makes the Doctor sending Rose away make a little more sense. Whatever happens, they'll be dead, and he feels he owes her that duty of care. Also, he fancies her. Anyway, given the choice between living as a Dalek or dying, the Doctor makes the choice for all the world that's it's better to die. Cheers. But of course, wiping out the Daleks would be the best course of action, even if it means destroying Earth too, because they're very dangerous and could potentially wipe out the rest of the galaxy and then perhaps conquer the universe without the Time Lords to keep them in check now. Unless someone else thinks of making a delta wave.
Also, as he has the chance, the Doctor asks the Emperor how he did the Bad Wolf trick. Turns out it wasn't him. Spooky.
Back in London, Rose, Mickey, and now Jackie are sitting in a sort of café/kebab shop, and Jackie mentions that the place has gone upmarket now, because it does little tubs of coleslaw. This is how Russell T Davies seems to think the other half to him live then. People with meaningless lives whose only hope of fulfilment would be a time travelling alien taking them away, and who are impressed by little tubs of coleslaw. I suppose they also pour their lager into a glass instead of drinking it out of the can on special occasions, and think going in a Sainsburys is a good excuse to dress up. Rose then gets a bit irritated at all the surprise at pizza shops selling pizza and runs off.
Meanwhile, back at the Gamestation, Jack is telling Lynda how he needs her to monitor a screen in a room alone. Apparently that's the only screen that'll help track the Daleks' progess. Forget all those other screens everywhere, this is where it's at. He also says the door should keep them out, because it's made of what sounds to me like "hydrocombination". What, a combination of water? Err...I must have heard it wrong. Just then we hear that the Dalek fleet has arrived, and we see the ships out of this observation deck window. Though the ships seem to be travelling in a way contrary to how you'd imagine, given the logical positionings. They've just stuck the same CGI shot in the window that they just used for the approaching fleet.
Still, this is it. This is what I've been waiting for. It's been over 20 minutes, but here come the Daleks. Swarming out of the ships. And it looks great.
Then it cuts back to London. Bastards! I want my Dalek porn. Rose and Mickey are sitting on a bench in an area that...well I'm not really sure what it is. I'd assume some sort of ball game court, but the bench is quite far out into it. Anyway, Rose notices the words "BAD WOLF" scrawled in big letters on the ground. Though it's the kind of thing you'd have thought she'd have noticed much sooner than she did. And it turns out that Bad Wolf is also graffitied all over the walls directly ahead of and behind her. But the main thing is she noticed in the end.
So at the Gamestation, the Daleks have got in at Floor 494. Ooh, there's loads of them. This is gonna be great.
Then it cuts back to Rose and Mickey. Bah. They're in the Tardis now. By Rose's logic, because of how Blon Slitheen regressed to an egg back in Boom Town when she looked into the heart of the Tardis, then if Rose does it, it'll travel back and...well she must think it's worth dying with the Doctor instead of living in London with Mickey. Actually, she may have a point there. She emphasises this by saying again that there's nothing for her there. To Mickey. Nice girl.
Back at the Gamestation, here come the Daleks. Oh yes. They immediately cut off the internal lasers (which is the kind of defense system you really wouldn't want to malfunction), and the bullets are useless against them.
Meanwhile (I say meanwhile, I mean 197,994 years earlier) Rose and Mickey are trying to break open the Tardis by attaching a chain to his car and getting him to drive. Considering that the thing that broke open the Tardis last time was the opening of the rift in space and time (whatever that is/means), I wouldn't be surprised if nothing would break it open again. Anyway, his Mini isn't working.
Back at the Gamestation, things take a turn for the slightly silly when, another floor up, Anne Droid would seem to have disintegrated 3 Daleks (though of course, they're not actually disintegrated, they're just...wherever Rose was when she was the Weakest Link. The transporter buffer or something). Still, Jack seems happy, except the next Dalek promptly destroys it. Ha-ha! Though if they thought the Anne Droid would have been such a great solution, you'd think they wouldn't have stationed some people on the floor below to get immediately killed. After this though, we get an example of how evil the Daleks really are when they go down to Floor 0, and after spending 20 seconds scaring everyone saying "Exterminate!", they proceed to exterminate them.
In London again, Rose tells Jackie that her dad would have told her not to give up, regarding breaking open the Tardis. We know that Rose met Pete in Father's Day, but...well, I dunno, would he have said that? I don't know. Then Rose tells Jackie how she met him, and changed the past. Naturally, Jackie's not that impressed and runs off angry and upset.
Back in 200,100, the Dalek fleet is descending on Earth and bombing it away. As the Daleks come up to Jack's floor, he gives the eyestalk advice. Shame he didn't tell the ones who died earlier, but they were goners anyway. He also says that the forcefield is at maximum, so Dalek firepower should be at its weakest. Meaning this isn't a forcefield, which would work like a sort of invisible wall (hopefully preventing weapons fire penetrating); it's actually a sort of weapon-dampening field. But anyway, the Daleks come through and just sit there getting fired at, until eventually the eyepiece thing actually works and we get the usual Dalek cry of "My vision is impaired!". They then proceed to actually do something and kill the two with Jack (the second of whom lets himself die stupidly).
At the same time, some Daleks come up to the door of where Lynda is, but the Doctor says "You'll be alright Lynda, that side of the station's reinforced against meteors". What, do they get meteors inside space stations in the future? Also, why is only one side of the station reinforced against meteors? Especially as we've seen that this is the side that faces Earth the most. Very stupid, but I'll forgive it because here we get to the best scene of the episode. Maybe even of the whole series. While some genuinely effective music plays (nice one Murray, you can be a little understated), a cutting torch Dalek starts coming through. Then, Lynda turns around and some Daleks float up in front of the window. We see the voice lights silently say "Exterminate", and it breaks open the window. That's just brilliant. I mean sure, that idea that being reinforced against meteors would help came to naught, but...brilliant.
After this, we see Jack is backing away down the corridor shouting to himself about being the last man standing, and all the while the Doctor continues building his delta wave.
In London again, the reasoning that something stronger is needed to break open the Tardis has led Jackie to go and get a truck. Then it goes and works, despite the flimsy chain. Rather than speeding forward, the truck moves about a foot, Rose stares into the Tardis, the doors slam shut, and she goes and disappears.
There's then the joy of seeing Jack get killed (though the Daleks rather took their time; they had a clear shot at him for quite a while). Anyway, he goes out how he lived. No, not sodomising a poodle (that comes later after all), but rather an unwitty retort to "Exterminate!". Wish they'd kept him dead.
And just as the Doctor's got the delta wave ready, in swarm the Daleks. Of course, they should just kill him then and remove all danger, rather than give him the chance to use his death ray, but instead the Emperor taunts him and dares him to use it. Then there's a line I quite like. When the Emperor asks the Doctor which he is, a coward or a killer, the Doctor replies "Coward, any day".
So, the day is lost, the Doctor is about to be exterminated to the point of no return, and the Daleks are back to endanger the universe again.
Oh hang on, the Tardis is back. And the doors fly open showing a figure bathed in light. No, it's not Jesus (though this won't be the last series finale where we could mistake someone for him; DEUS ex machina indeed), it's Rose. The Doctor asks her what she's done and we get the awful line "I looked into the Tardis, and the Tardis looked into me". Turns out she's looked into the time vortex (whatever that is/means), and she was the Bad Wolf all along, spreading the word throughout time. How clever. Of course, she does it by literally taking down a sign in front of her with her magic powers. Really. So she uses her super powers to destroy the Daleks. That's just great. Let's introduce a previously unmentioned and all powerful element to resolve the story. That's completely satisfying for the viewer and the mark of a good writer. It's a wonder anyone defends this clown. Perhaps even worse, she's brought Jack back to life. Apparently no one else, just Jack. None of those who died on the station, or were bombed to death on the Earth, and you'd think between having to power to wipe out an entire fleet of 200 ships (indeed, a whole species) and the power to bring someone dead back to life (and, it turns out, make him immortal), she could have brought back to life all the perhaps millions or even billions who had been killed.
So we get some stupid nonsense about how she's seeing what the Doctor sees all the time (really?), the worst line ever ("I think you need a Doctor"), and a silly kiss that transfers the energy to him. Another thing though. Why would she come back at just that moment? Why not 1 second after the Tardis left? Then the Earth wouldn't have been bombed to the point of near annihilation, all the people on the Gamestation wouldn't have died either, and the Daleks would still be gone. Well, obviously it's so we can have the cool Dalek scenes and a climax, but it also means that billions of people have died for no reason at all. Still, it's just a story. A stupid story that doesn't make any sense.
Still, there must be consequences to this copout, right? Well, Rose and the Doctor go, leaving Jack behind (to somehow end up in a spin-off that's even worse). The Doctor notices his hand glowing, tells how he wanted to take Rose to Barcelona (the planet), and, in short, regenerates. It's admittedly a well performed scene, but after what I've just had to swallow as a resolution, I find it difficult to buy into it. And it was no surprise even at the time either that the Doctor would regenerate. Though it was only after a few episodes had run that Eccleston announced he'd leave. What would have happened if he'd decided to stay? Would he have just blown away the time vortex? Maybe it could have been worse after all.
So you can absorb this time vortex thing to set everything right, and all it costs you is a regeneration? Why not do it all the time? Even better, cut off your hand just after, and you won't even have to lose another regeneration. But that's a complaint for another time.
But wait. Why didn't Blon absorb the whole vortex and start godding around? It's implied it's all to do with the Tardis being telepathic and giving the person who looks into it what they want. In Blon's case, this was ultimately to be given a second chance, and for Rose it was to go back to the Doctor to...well, to help I suppose. Somehow. But why did she absorb the time vortex and yet Blon didn't? Oh yeah, because this while thing is nonsense.
The sad thing is, I really expected to like this episode. I really did. I knew the silly copout was coming, but even then it was utterly disappointing, and there wasn't nearly enough Dalek porn. Again, it's a long list of stupid things that happen and a lazy, pathetic resolution. A few nice Dalek scenes aren't enough for me to be able to recommend this drivel.
Extraordinary screwdriver:
1. Stops plastic arm from receiving signal.
2. Disengages computerised lock on door.
3. Seems to be the only tool you need while fixing a time machine.
4. Even opens conventional doors.
5. Helps "patch in the radar [and] link it back 12 hours so it can follow the flight of that spaceship". You mean your screwdriver can't?
6. Helps steal money from a cash machine in the year 200,000. Maybe they should have kept chip and pin.
7. Helps open shackles in the year 200,000. For when you're not lucky enough to have them just fall off.
8. Opens a padlock. It's a different lock, so it goes on the list.
9. Manages to be a medical tricorder, with a readout only the Doctor can see. Streuth.
10. Undoes handcuffs.
11. Reattaches cut barbed wire. Sonic welder?
12. Reverses a teleport that has already teleported. Makes serfect pense.
13. Blows up a camera. Saves you having to detag on Facebook later
14. It can be your eyes even if you don't need more eyes.
15. Can remotely send away your time machine to never come back. So always remember to lock your screwdriver before you put it in your pocket.
Nemesis 
