Movie Caption Contest #126: Random Pictures of Random People

[Rat Boy]

Pull yourselves together, because it's time for another caption contest. First up, let's honor...

For reading too much into the term "shag carpeting," our winner is...

NotJimHenson: Okay let's make the best "Trek porn-fanfilm in history!

Girl: Yeah, let's make...wait PORN!?!

NotJinHenson: Cue the Mugato with a strap-on...and ACTION!

For coming up with the best reason why the following scene was deleted from the movie, our winner is...

COCHRANE: WOW.

Was my penis always that small and oddly-bent?

For summing up many of our reactions a week or so ago, our winner is...

"A new layout? I can't find 'The Neutral Zone' anymore. And sponsored links in the threads? Screw you, TrekBBS!"

And our obvious Photoshop winner is...

Queen: "I now pronounce you Sir Pain-in-the-butt."

Congratulations to our winners and here are our updated totals:

Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 59
Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 56
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 46
Shatmandu (Hall of Fame) 41
The Laughing Vulcan (Hall of Fame) 28
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 27
middyseafort (Hall of Fame) 23
Triskelion (Hall of Fame) 23
scottydog (Hall of Fame) 22
Outpost4 (Hall of Fame) 21
Turd Ferguson 18
Alrik 17
LeadHead 15
Diesel Micky Dolenz 14
Skywalker 13
Nebusj 12
BriGuy 12
zephramc 12
DS9Sega 11
Tharpdevenport 11
EliyahuQeoni 10
Herkimer Jitty 10
Kirby 9
captain crow 9
Kegek 8
John_Picard 8
Daneel 8
TheGallifreyanSith 8
cultcross 7
Atavachron 6
jptrekker 6
Deranged Nasat 6
Bad Atom 6
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
The Cutest of Borg 5
Mistral 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Peach Wookie 4
Woulfe 4
Piper 4
B.J. 4
Starpaul20 4
Jonas Grumby 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
Amasov 3
SalvorHardin 3
Hartzilla2007 3
Classic Fan 3
M'Sharak 3
Civil Shadow 3
The Squire of Gothos 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
thedude 2
S'Kai 2
seigezunt 2
trampledamage 2
protocida 2
BriGuy 2
26138 2
USS Bones 2
T'Girl 2
Broccoli 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Mister.Woof 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
Toban Kal 1
trilbymonkey 1
Will 1
Captain Mike 1
T'Boggan 1
Dimesdan 1
shivkala 1
KirkusOveractus 1
CTM 1
Emperor-Tiberius 1
Alpha_Geek 1
Zachary_Smith 1
Plum 1
3 of 11 1
jongredic 1
Super Grover 1
T'Aerwynd 1
shivkala 1
Jackson_Roykirk 1
The Badger 1
Captain Zog 1
J. Allen 1
Lashmore 1
NickRyder 1
Aragorn 1
Rat Boy 1
Tribble 1
DGCatAniSiri 1
Volpone_the_Fox 1
Yeoman Randi 1
Isis 1

This week, we're going to soldier on without any of the main cast members or guest stars of the films. Yep, no Shatner, no Sir Patrick, and no Carl Spock. First up, three members of the United States Navy wonder why radars always spin clockwise. Second, the Bak'u enjoy the NFL's Wild Card Weekend, but sadly they're Eagles fans. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Rogerson: "My God, the Ruskies must be attacking. Look at all those contacts!"

Petty Officer: "Uh, sir, this is a weather radar."

Picard might have gotten his answers faster if he didn't get caught up in the Bak'u book club.

 

[Brikar99]

"Sir, I've lost the bleeps, the sweeps and the creeps!"

"The what, the what and the what?"

 

[LeadHead]

Rogerson: What is that game called?

Petty Officer: Global Thermonuclear War.

Hmmmm... I look a little like Hasselhoff, I wonder if they'll ask me to take over on Americas Got Talent?

 

[Nerys Myk]

OFFICER: Try realigning the phase inducers to create a taychon burst in the main deflector.

SEAMAN: What???

OFFICER: It works on Star Trek.

 

[Nerys Myk]

HASSLENOT: Nah, we don't ski, we're just here to pick up chicks.

JOEYBAKU: How youdoin?

 

[Candlelight]

Officer: "My god, what the hell is it??!?"
Lieutenant: "It's his awesomeness sir, we've tried everything, WE CAN'T STOP IT!"

"My life partner here might grinning like an idiot but even he can't help burning supper"
"Oh shut up Gary, I'd like to see you try a baked alaska"

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Sojef: So Jean-Luc, have you ever been in a Ba'Ku prison?

 

[Rat Boy]

Rogerson: "Is that a MIG?"

Petty Officer: "No, it's Britney Spears' private jet."

Rogerson: "Shoot it down anyway."

Picard (off camera): "Uh, I came here to talk about the bad guys, not Grey's Anatomy."

 

[johcomp]

Shatner(off camera): "Who the hell as taken my new wig?!?!"

 

[John Picard]

Combat Officer: "Move over, son. I'll show you how Missile Command is really played."

 

[SeerSGB]

Seaman On Left: As you see sir, we have multiple unidentified contacts on a vector for the harbor.

Officer: Wake the captain, and sound general quarters. We can't risk getting caught off guard.

Seaman on the right, writing in notepad: "Just then, five Kingon warships decloaked. "Shields up," Captain Kirk commanded...."

Officer: Manny put the fucking fanfic away and focus. How many times do I have to tell you, this isn't the Enterprise and we're not in Starfleet.

 

[Rat Boy]

Rogerson: "Why is it everybody snickers every time I say I'm surrounded by seamen?"

Seamen: *snicker*

Bak'u on the right: "What do you mean you think it's strange that we're all white?"

 

[cooleddie74]

ROGERSON: It appears to be Billy Joel out for a late-night drive in his BMW, sir.

Permission to take him out before he ruins another perfectly good swimming pool?

...and then Hardcastle told him to leave him alone and go fly off to another planet while the car was being fixed...

And...the rest? History.

 

[cooleddie74]

SEAMAN:The comically oversized wristwatches are picking up something totally contrived, sir!!

 

[SeerSGB]

Seaman 1: Sir we're reading a odd power surge in the reactor system.

Officer: Sound the evacuation alert and seal off the engineering systems.

Seaman 2 (under breath): Not now Madeline!

Seaman 3 (under desk, talking with his mouth full): Stop calling me Madeline, the name's Jim.

 

[Nerys Myk]

OFFICER: How do you change the channel on this thing? My soap's on.

 

[The Badger]

Officer: Before I forget, there's a red Indian, a cowboy, a motorcycle cop and a construction worker outside. Said they were looking for a friend with a uniform and a moustache.

 

[John Picard]

(voice from over the console) "...B5"

Petty Officer: "Dammit. HIT!"

Combat Officer: "I know his carrier is out there somewhere. Come on, you two. THINK."

 

[SeerSGB]

Officer: WTF?! Where'd TNZ Go!