Emotions.

[Deranged Nasat]

Hello. I've posted a similar thread in Science and Technology, but this forum moves much faster and so I'm hoping I'll get results here. I was wondering if anyone could assist me with the subject of emotions. Can anyone tell me what is known about the development of emotion in human children (be it psychological theories, neurological studies, or whatever). Specifically, is there any known scientific basis- or if you don't have science background, individual experience- for a situation whereby one particular emotion (or I suppose more accurately one particular "flavour" of emotion, since I doubt we can divide emotion neatly into types) is not experienced? That is, the child is psychologically "healthy" but simply does not experience a particular emotion until puberty or until his/her circumstances change dramatically. Is this considered possible under currently accepted theory? Does anyone else have experience of this? Any help with this would be most appreciated. Thank you.

 

[Finn]

Why are you asking?

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Why are you asking?

Because I did not experience the emotion of anger until I was about 11 or 12 years old. I want to know if anyone else has a similar experience or if what I remember is accepted as possible under current scientific theories.

 

[Finn]

That's improable unless you have some kind of disorder (my apologizes if you do). Children should experience all kinds of emotions by age of two or three. Babies do exhibit jealousy very early on. Pouting comes with some degrees of anger, and one is generally considred too old for that by the age of ten. Most people don't remember anything from before they were five, and much of their childhood memories up to ten are usually diluted and hazy with time, and false memories so you may not remember being upset about something, like not getting a cookie at the age of four.

Did your parents tell you that you didn't show anger until you were eleven or are you just making a statement from what your memories tell you? Memories can play tricks on you years down the road.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

That's improable unless you have some kind of disorder (my apologizes if you do). Children should experience all kinds of emotions by age of two or three. Babies do exhibit jealousy very early on. Pouting comes with some degrees of anger, and one is generally considred too old for that by the age of ten. Most people don't remember anything from before they were five, and much of their childhood memories up to ten are usually diluted and hazy with time, and false memories so you may not remember being upset about something, like not getting a cookie at the age of four.

Did your parents tell you that you didn't show anger until you were eleven or are you just making a statement from what your memories tell you? Memories can play tricks on you years down the road.

Oh, believe me, I know how unreliable memories can be. But truthfully, as far as I know, I did not experience anger and aggressive feelings towards another until I was 11 or 12. Frustration, annoyance, even stress: I felt these like anyone else, and I threw a tantrum once or twice as a very young child when my selfish frustrations overflowed, but anger? No. Jealousy, upset and those other things you mention were of course experienced, but the emotion of anger was not present.

I know it sounds improbable, and I'm not saying 100% I'm not mistaken, but I really believe this and I'm wondering if anyone can support it, or if there's some other explanation.

 

[Kestra]

Another explanation would be in how you define the emotion, anger. Things like frustration, annoyance, stress, throwing a tantrum, etc., could be indications of anger as defined by some people. You may be using the word in a different way to explain a more complex combination of emotions and perhaps even motives or reasoning. In such a situation, it would not be unreasonable that you believe you did not exhibit something under your definition until a higher age.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Another explanation would be in how you define the emotion, anger. Things like frustration, annoyance, stress, throwing a tantrum, etc., could be indications of anger as defined by some people. You may be using the word in a different way to explain a more complex combination of emotions and perhaps even motives or reasoning. In such a situation, it would not be unreasonable that you believe you did not exhibit something under your definition until a higher age.

Yes, I believe you're right, Kestra. Perhaps I should define the emotion (or whatever mental faculties or process is involved) I'm talking about as "aggression", as in a beligerant attitude towards another being (which precludes jealousy, frustration, annoyance and the rest).

 

[Kestra]

I would say perhaps even more than an emotion or attitude, aggression may be defined as a behavior. Since not everyone exhibits the same behaviors, this might be your explanation.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

I would say perhaps even more than an emotion or attitude, aggression may be defined as a behavior. Since not everyone exhibits the same behaviors, this might be your explanation.

Possibly, but I wasn't necessarily thinking of aggression exhibited, which I would consider behaviour, but instead internally experienced. Even if we don't exhibit aggression, that beligerant snappish response can still be there inside us, we don't show is it all.

 

[Kestra]

I think aggression by its very definition has to be exhibited externally as behavior. Otherwise you're speaking of thoughts and desires, which aren't really aggression themselves.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

I think aggression by its very definition has to be exhibited externally as behavior. Otherwise you're speaking of thoughts and desires, which aren't really aggression themselves.

Fair enough . Evidently, I am still having trouble defining this...aspect...I believe I did not experience until around 11-12

 

[Jadzia]

Well firstly there are three kinds of anger.

• Spontaneous anger.
• Settled and deliberate anger.
• And the more constant personality related anger.

These are all brought under control with greater emotional intelligence. Consider that your story may due to a combination of you having greater emotional intelligence, allowing you to deal with situations in a more controlled and productive way, as well as maybe not being exposed to many intense situations that could anger you.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Well firstly there are three kinds of anger.

• Spontaneous anger.
• Settled and deliberate anger.
• And the more constant personality related anger.

These are all brought under control with greater emotional intelligence. Consider that your story may due to a combination of you having greater emotional intelligence, allowing you to deal with situations in a more controlled and productive way, as well as maybe not being exposed to many intense situations that could anger you.

In which case I must have lost that emotional intelligence, or had it overwhelmed. So, instead of suddenly developing an emotional response I previously lacked the capacity for, I instead lost control of a previously in-built strategy for defusing or avoiding it? Yes, I see that probably seems more logical.

Thanks for the input, Jadzia.

 

[RoJoHen]

I still don't understand the question. I have never experienced "anger" that wasn't a result of something else, usually frustration. Even then, it's never really been aggressive.

Are we talking about just suddenly being pissed off and violent? Because that's not healthy no matter how old you are.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

I still don't understand the question. I have never experienced "anger" that wasn't a result of something else, usually frustration. Even then, it's never really been aggressive.

Are we talking about just suddenly being pissed off and violent? Because that's not healthy no matter how old you are.

No, I've only ever been violent once in my life, and I cried for hours for shame afterwards. I'm talking about being angry. As in feeling anger. Not frustration or upset or jealousy or anything like that, but feeling angry. I didn't use to feel such things, and I'm displeased that now I do.

 

[RoJoHen]

I guess I still don't understand your definition of anger.

Maybe something to help clarify: WHY are you angry? What is causing it? What kind of events are setting it off?

 

[Jadzia]

Perhaps you could give us a recent example of when you felt anger, and a description of your feelings at that time, but without using the word anger.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

I guess I still don't understand your definition of anger.

Well, I know my definitions aren't clear, so sorry, but I mean that when someone does something that really displeases you, or is unpleasant, or when you're rubbed up the wrong way by something, or when things are really getting to you and you feel alone and isolated, you feel angry. Even if you don't exhibit any behaviour demonstrating it, you experience the emotional response of, well, of anger. I don't mean strong anger only- this isn't rage or extreme anger only we're talking about, I mean just general anger. A pulse of beligerance, however weak or strong depends on context and mood and so on.

 

[RoJoHen]

But this anger is caused by something, and in my experience is always accompanied by something else. I often get angry at drivers on the road, but I'm angry at them out of frustration because I think they should be driving better. I'm not sure I've ever just been angry without it stemming from some other emotion.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Perhaps you could give us a recent example of when you felt anger, and a description of your feelings at that time, but without using the word anger.

Well, I'll try.

Okay, there was recently someone walking their dog, and it was running around off of its lead. Now, I don't like dogs (phobia, I suppose some might call it), so I experienced anxiety and fear as it bounded over to me. I called to the owner to call it back and please could they control it more tightly? I felt annoyance, frustration (as this often happens), weariness, embarassment, guilt (I don't like confrontation) as well as the afore-mentioned fear. I also felt a pulse of aggression towards the owner, an internal "grrrr, why do you people not control these animals", an accusationary feeling that directed a judgement towards them, but one not based in rational response but in seemingly uncontrolled feeling (behaviour can be controlled, of course, but the feeling couldn't).