Star Trek XI Caption Contest #1: Shakedown Cruise

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "You choke like a Vulcan!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: The Kermit snowsuit?

SPOCK: A gift from my mother.

Kirk: "No wonder you let her die on Vulcan."

SPOCK: Don't you be talkin about my mama!!!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Kirk: "Uncle! Uncle!"

Attacker: "Giving up, eh?"

Kirk: "No... <gasp> just wanted to tell you... <gasp> I enjoyed driving your car ... into the Iowa Grand Canyon, Uncle."

Uncle: "Its a quarry!!!!!"

(begins choking Kirk, again.)

 

[cooleddie74]

PINE:"All I said was Let's re-enact the illusion-choking scene from the original TREK series pilot...

LET UP, DAMMIT!!!! This is killing me!!!"

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"Forgive me, Jim. It's been decades since I was last on this planet.

I thought this was where the closest men's lavatory was located."

KIRK:"From here on out?

I don't know you."

 

[Candlelight]

SPOCK: "I don't understand... he should be around here somewhere..."
KIRK: "We've already run into Tom Paris, Deanna Troi and Kira Nerys. This is getting-"
TRAVIS MAYWEATHER (off screen): "Hey guys!"
SPOCK & KIRK: "FUCK IT!"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Good job, Spock.

You come from THE FUTURE and yet didn't know this base closes at 9 every night?


NOW where are we gonna get rolling papers and Doritos?!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Pine: It... was... the... Dukes! It... was... the... Dukes!

Guy choking Pine: YOU'RE A DEAD MAN, VALENTINE!

 

[Shatmandu]

To Kirk, the best thing about Orion women is that they never judge when he tells them of his love for erotic asphyxiation.

 

[Darth Duck]

To amuse his colleagues, Chris Pine would make his "Angry Shatner" face between takes.

 

[Aragorn]

FANBOY: "Why didn't you use the actual sounds from the original TV series?!?! Why does the Kelvin registry number start with zero?!?! How come you didn't walk around with a stack of books?!?! Where's Robert April?!?! You don't know anything about Star Trek and you ruined my life!!!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

DIRECTOR: Cut CUT!!!! You've cut off the oxygen to his brain and he's turning into Kirk Cameron!

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk, thinking: Oh goody, I'm being choked again. I hope in the next movie I get to choke people.

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "I don't mind the cold, but I hate the wind."

Kirk: "I don't believe in the no wind situation."

scottydog's wife: "WTF?? Another goddamn caption contest for you to waste hours of time on? I'll kill you, scottydog!"

 

[Starpaul20]

R Lee Ermey: Don't make any fucking effort to stop Nero, Mr. Spock! Why if...
Kirk: Hey, what's the R in his name stand for? Does it stand for Rachel?

5 seconds later...

R Lee Ermey: WHY YOU LITTLE SCUMBAG! I GOT YOUR NAME, I GOT YOUR ASS YOU SLIMY LITTLE COMMUNIST TWINKLE-TOAD COCKSUCKER!
Kirk: Crap...

 

[Sector 7]

FANBOY: "Why didn't you use the actual sounds from the original TV series?!?! Why does the Kelvin registry number start with zero?!?! How come you didn't walk around with a stack of books?!?! Where's Robert April?!?! You don't know anything about Star Trek and you ruined my life!!!"

FOR THE WIN!!!

 

[Rat Boy]

FANBOY: "Why didn't you use the actual sounds from the original TV series?!?!

Pine: "Didn't...you...watch...the...second...disk...?!"

 

[M'Sharak]

Kirk: What the heck was all that about?
Spock-1: Talosians. They're dicks, every one of them. It's why their planet got perma'd.

 

[scottydog]

FANBOY: "Why didn't you use the actual sounds from the original TV series?!?!

Pine: "Brain... and brain... what is brain...."

FANBOY: "Not good enough!"

<begins choking him again>

 

[The Badger]

Spockman: Wakka-Wakka-Wakka-Wakka!

Pine: You've not been the same since you had those cherries, man!