Edit: Double post
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"Damaged" Women
- Thread starter Witterquick
- Start date
I don't even know what "man up" means in this context. Also we're not losers, thanks very much. Directly and pointlessly insulting several posters in this thread is a constructive contribution though, so good job there!
After she was diagnosed with ADD, my girlfriend went through a phase where she truly believe she was damaged, to the point where she thought I wouldn't love her anymore. It was no easy feat convincing her otherwise, and it made for a scary time for both of us. The strange thing is that I would truly never consider ADD or ADHD to be a black mark against a person, and the first thing she said to me after she got the news was "I don't deserve you". Yikes. Thankfully that's behind us now, but I guess the lesson I learned is that "damage" is relative. We can all live with different sorts of flaws, and it isn't healthy to assume others will view them the same way.
This thread is going to crash & burn in a beautiful way. It's like seeing the plane coming in low and hard, smoke pouring out the back. Phone cameras at the ready; speed-dial to the news networks programmed in... 
While waiting for the fuel tanks to catch on fire, I'll just say that there's a world of difference between having the usual rough & tumble of life, even to the point of having a psychiatric disorder actually, and people of either gender who are seriously disturbed in a personality disordered way.
The latter have the potential to be truly toxic. Having said that, they're also often very powerful people because of the emotional maelstroms they can generate in others, esp. those unaware of why they're being affected in such a strong way. They can also be highly attractive (or highly annoying!) to others because of, rather than in spite of, generating those powerful emotional reactions. Self-knowledge is your best defence against being damaged yourself by this sort of relationship whether it's a romantic, professional or simply friendly one.
While waiting for the fuel tanks to catch on fire, I'll just say that there's a world of difference between having the usual rough & tumble of life, even to the point of having a psychiatric disorder actually, and people of either gender who are seriously disturbed in a personality disordered way.
The latter have the potential to be truly toxic. Having said that, they're also often very powerful people because of the emotional maelstroms they can generate in others, esp. those unaware of why they're being affected in such a strong way. They can also be highly attractive (or highly annoying!) to others because of, rather than in spite of, generating those powerful emotional reactions. Self-knowledge is your best defence against being damaged yourself by this sort of relationship whether it's a romantic, professional or simply friendly one.
This thread is going to crash & burn in a beautiful way. It's like seeing the plane coming in low and hard, smoke pouring out the back. Phone cameras at the ready; speed-dial to the news networks programmed in...
While waiting for the fuel tanks to catch on fire, I'll just say that there's a world of difference between having the usual rough & tumble of life, even to the point of having a psychiatric disorder actually, and people of either gender who are seriously disturbed in a personality disordered way.
The latter have the potential to be truly toxic. Having said that, they're also often very powerful people because of the emotional maelstroms they can generate in others, esp. those unaware of why they're being affected in such a strong way. They can also be highly attractive (or highly annoying!) to others because of, rather than in spite of, generating those powerful emotional reactions. Self-knowledge is your best defence against being damaged yourself by this sort of relationship whether it's a romantic, professional or simply friendly one.
That's extremely informative and well written.
You should post drunk more often.
^ 
Ouch.
Ouch.
Being drunk also keeps the Sylar away.
...but apparently also allows him to posess you...not that I'd have a problem with being posessed by Sylar.
...but apparently also allows him to posess you...not that I'd have a problem with being posessed by Sylar.
That's extremely informative and well written.
You should post drunk more often.
You know, I had a glass of Viognier over lunch today.
I never have Viognier.
It always gives me a headache. And yet today I chose it anyway. And got a headache. There's a lesson there, relevant to this thread.
Think about it.
(I'm feeling very zen today...)
It always gives me a headache. And yet today I chose it anyway. And got a headache. There's a lesson there, relevant to this thread.
Think about it.
(I'm feeling very zen today...)
If a Holdfast gets a headache in the woods and there's nobody to see the headache, then how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
This thread is going to crash & burn in a beautiful way. It's like seeing the plane coming in low and hard, smoke pouring out the back. Phone cameras at the ready; speed-dial to the news networks programmed in...
While waiting for the fuel tanks to catch on fire, I'll just say that there's a world of difference between having the usual rough & tumble of life, even to the point of having a psychiatric disorder actually, and people of either gender who are seriously disturbed in a personality disordered way.
The latter have the potential to be truly toxic. Having said that, they're also often very powerful people because of the emotional maelstroms they can generate in others, esp. those unaware of why they're being affected in such a strong way. They can also be highly attractive (or highly annoying!) to others because of, rather than in spite of, generating those powerful emotional reactions. Self-knowledge is your best defence against being damaged yourself by this sort of relationship whether it's a romantic, professional or simply friendly one.
Well put Hold.
Thank god I still believe in love.
None of this matters.
None of this matters.
I have this huge fear that Im gonna end up stuck with the that type of person. I have low self esteem & never learned to be assertive, added to my social anxiety & Aspergers never having allowed me to experience very close relationships of any kind I think I could easily fall prey to being manipulated into a toxic relationship. Which is why I have avoided gettig into any type of relationship at all(romantic or platonic.)
and that's what my baggage is...
A
Amaris
Guest
It always gives me a headache. And yet today I chose it anyway. And got a headache. There's a lesson there, relevant to this thread.
Think about it.
(I'm feeling very zen today...)
If a Holdfast gets a headache in the woods and there's nobody to see the headache, then how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
The answer is "All the colors of the rainbow".
J.
*hug* I don't have Aspergers, but other than that you've described my romantic situation to a tee.
Well, this transcends the sexes and romantic attractiveness. It is something which we can split into two categories; people with strong minds and characters who do their darnedest to make life better for themselves and those around them; but who sometimes are visibly disturbed or sad because of something that has happened. That kind of people garner genuine sympathy.
There is, however, another kind; the sort who act as if life is an eternal misery, who never smile or encourage anyone, and who - overall - do nothing in their entire miserable lives but to frustrate and discourage both themself and those around them. That kind of person garners animosity, and when they spout the latest reason why life isn't worth living, any decent person is overcome with a sudden desire to flee the room crying or screaming, or both.
There is, however, another kind; the sort who act as if life is an eternal misery, who never smile or encourage anyone, and who - overall - do nothing in their entire miserable lives but to frustrate and discourage both themself and those around them. That kind of person garners animosity, and when they spout the latest reason why life isn't worth living, any decent person is overcome with a sudden desire to flee the room crying or screaming, or both.
While I'm suitably impressed with your awesome manliness, I must remind you not to flame your fellow Posters.
J
Jetfire
Guest
I am the guy who does go in and saves them, they get a restored faith in humanity and in themselves...then they dump me because as nice & as sweet as I am...they want hunk and it doesn't matter if the guy is awful...they will get mistreaded and come back to me and talk to how horrible it was to break up with me and I say I'm sorry I don't want my heart broken again. 
If I find a "damaged" woman, do I get a discount at least?
Yeah they're in the irregular dept.
I'm soooooooooo glad I'm in the #2 category? I am....right? Tell me different and I may have to revert to #1.
Everyone is damaged to one degree or another. Myself included. And everyone will have baggage when they get into a relationship, or acquire it during one.
Me? I am looking for a woman with matching luggage.
Me? I am looking for a woman with matching luggage.
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