This is a list I just came up with of the first things that popped up in my mind. Add, discuss, amend as you may see fit.
10. I Am Legend - Ford Mustang:
The most benign of this list -hence it's number 10. In a post-apocalyptic New York City where a virus has turned most of humanity into ravenous CGI zombie-like creatures a man immune to the disease roams the ruins of civilization. By day he hunts down his dinner along with his companion dog and occasionally captures a zombie and hauls it home to work on a cure for the virus. The movie opens with establishing shots of New York City and Will Smith's character hauling-ass around the ruins in a Ford Mustang. A fun car, sure, but sort of impractical for survival purposes in such a nightmarish situation, certainly Will Smith's character figured this out as he spends the rest of the movie driving around in a far more practical SUV. The tearing ass, glamor shots, 'Stang Porn and such of Mustang in the opening moments? Just for product placement.
9 - I, Robot - Converse Shoes:
There was a LOT of product placements in this movie.
A lot. But Converse is the one that sticks out the most in my mind. Moments into the movie Will Smith's character -a technophobic Chicago policeman- opens up a package containing something he bought off eBay. Inside the package? Some Converse shoes circa 2004. The year? 2035. Yep. He bought 31 year old shoes off eBay, because he's so into them and apparently Chicago is plum out of vintage clothing stores. Oh, and the shoes are in near-perfect condition.
Think about this for a moment. Sure, vintage-style clothing is always a market but when's the last time you saw some shoes from 1978 that were anywhere near wearable?
8. - Independence Day - Apple/Macintosh:
Jeff Goldblum hacks into an alien computer system, uploads a virus -not to mention creates this virus- and takes down a spaceship large enough to make the Death Star shit its pants. He does this all on a circa 1996 Powerbook. Riiiight.
7. The Lost World: Jurassic Park - Nikon
About half an hour or so into this movie Jeff Goldblum and his wacky, well sad, crew of "explorers" are on Site-B, a second island with dinosaurs on it, to hunt down Goldblum's lost girlfriend. They find her and she's very excited to be a lone woman on a island full of creatures that want to eat her and while she seems kind of sharp she's mostly responsible for many of disasters that'll befall them in the rest of the movie.
Anyway, she runs up to a family of stegosaurus but she needs a camera so she asks one of Jeff's companions for one; he gives it to her and she asks, "Is it a Nikon?" Like if he said, "No, it's a Polaroid." she would've flipped him off and gone to sketch the dinosaurs. The Nikon screws her over moments later when the auto-winder goes off spooking the stegs into a mini-stampede. (It's also worth pointing out, too, that the yet-to-be-released at the time this movie came out Mercedes Sport-Utes were featured in this movie.)
6. Jurassic Park - B/F Goodwrench All Terrain Tires:
This one is subtle and kind of funny, actually, but also kind of shameless. Nedry is trying to catch up to the boat taking island workers off the island -which is being threatened by a tropical storm- even though he was told by a dockmaster like half an hour ago that the boat was leaving any moment. Nedry has also, presumably, traveled to and from the dock and the main building many times as part of his job on the island but yet can't find his own ass with both hands and a road map.
Anyway, he slides off the muddy road, slides into a ravine, and the Jeep gets stuck on a downed tree. We get a camera shot of a uselessly spinning tire as it stops on the white-on-black lettering "BF Goodwrench" the tire spins again and stops on "All Terrain - A/T." It's also counter productive because these product-placed tires got Nedry stuck on a tree and quickly eaten by a dinosaur.
5. Demolition Man - Taco Bell
This movie takes place sometime in 2030s. In it Taco Bell is the only restaurant in the country somehow surviving the "franchise wars" that happened decades earlier, "now all restaurants are Taco Bell!" The restaurant is also regarded as fine-dining and, it seems, no restaurant, ever, since these "franchise wars" has tried to enter the market to, you know, give people something different to eat.
4. Casino Royale - Omega Watches
Bond and Vesper are talking and she notices his watch. "Rolex?" she asks. "Omega," Bond answers. "Beautiful." she purrs. Uh-huh.
3. Star Trek (2009) - Nokia Phones
It's the mid 23rd century - nearly 300 years from now. A young James T. Kirk steals his step-father's circa 1966 Corvette and speeds down an Iowan road in it. A familiar sound goes off making many in the theater groan, roll their eyes, and look around the theater to see who the asshole is. The asshole turns out to be James Kirk. Apparently Nokia will not only survive the world-wars that will happen between now and then, survive 300 years, but they also won't change their theme tune. And, no, I don't buy the explanation that the phone in the car was installed in, and from, the 21st century. It still works and apparently the father knows the number for it. This is like stealing your dad's Model-T that has a working marconi machine in it and he's able to use his own marconi machine in it to yell at you. Oh, and to make matters worse the display for the Nokia phone device in the car says, "Nokia.com" on it. Because the internet is still around 300 years from now and file names will still have to be used to navigate it.
2. The Wizard - The Whole Fucking Movie
This whole movie is just an advertisement for Nintendo. Pure and simple, more-so Nintendo Power Magazine. This movie was made for ONE reason: To sell Nintendo games.
1. Smallville - Stride Gum
An entire fucking episode was made for this series solely to promote Stride Gum. Stride Gum apparently has a factory in Metropolis, a short drive from the titular town of our beloved super mopedope Clark Kent, and some evil fuck-tard in their R/D department has decided to take the meteor fragments from recent meteor showers (we know these fragments as kryptonite) and infuse its radioactive, rocky, goodness into gum. Strangely, this isn't the oddest use for kryptonite in Smallville which has been used as an enhancement for tattoo ink, sports drinks, perfumes, fuel-enhacment for street-racers and for ring-stones. Seriously, the stuff is like duct tape AND WD-40 rolled into one. There's nothing it can't do, we'll except not make a certain Kryptonian sick.
Anyway, this episode centers around the Gum-form of Kryptonite's versatile-for-all-consumer-goods-self and apparently chewing this gum -as Pete (a once regular, now greatly recurring character) does- gives one super-powers, it turns Pete into Mr. Fantastic. Or, rather, Mr. Incredible Douchebag. To make all of this worse while talking with Clark about the problem they're facing with their mutual friend Chloe learns of this Stride gum's power and states, "I guess next time I guess they won't make the flavor last so long." It's the first time I ever told Chloe to shut up.
10. I Am Legend - Ford Mustang:
The most benign of this list -hence it's number 10. In a post-apocalyptic New York City where a virus has turned most of humanity into ravenous CGI zombie-like creatures a man immune to the disease roams the ruins of civilization. By day he hunts down his dinner along with his companion dog and occasionally captures a zombie and hauls it home to work on a cure for the virus. The movie opens with establishing shots of New York City and Will Smith's character hauling-ass around the ruins in a Ford Mustang. A fun car, sure, but sort of impractical for survival purposes in such a nightmarish situation, certainly Will Smith's character figured this out as he spends the rest of the movie driving around in a far more practical SUV. The tearing ass, glamor shots, 'Stang Porn and such of Mustang in the opening moments? Just for product placement.
9 - I, Robot - Converse Shoes:
There was a LOT of product placements in this movie.
A lot. But Converse is the one that sticks out the most in my mind. Moments into the movie Will Smith's character -a technophobic Chicago policeman- opens up a package containing something he bought off eBay. Inside the package? Some Converse shoes circa 2004. The year? 2035. Yep. He bought 31 year old shoes off eBay, because he's so into them and apparently Chicago is plum out of vintage clothing stores. Oh, and the shoes are in near-perfect condition.
Think about this for a moment. Sure, vintage-style clothing is always a market but when's the last time you saw some shoes from 1978 that were anywhere near wearable?
8. - Independence Day - Apple/Macintosh:
Jeff Goldblum hacks into an alien computer system, uploads a virus -not to mention creates this virus- and takes down a spaceship large enough to make the Death Star shit its pants. He does this all on a circa 1996 Powerbook. Riiiight.
7. The Lost World: Jurassic Park - Nikon
About half an hour or so into this movie Jeff Goldblum and his wacky, well sad, crew of "explorers" are on Site-B, a second island with dinosaurs on it, to hunt down Goldblum's lost girlfriend. They find her and she's very excited to be a lone woman on a island full of creatures that want to eat her and while she seems kind of sharp she's mostly responsible for many of disasters that'll befall them in the rest of the movie.
Anyway, she runs up to a family of stegosaurus but she needs a camera so she asks one of Jeff's companions for one; he gives it to her and she asks, "Is it a Nikon?" Like if he said, "No, it's a Polaroid." she would've flipped him off and gone to sketch the dinosaurs. The Nikon screws her over moments later when the auto-winder goes off spooking the stegs into a mini-stampede. (It's also worth pointing out, too, that the yet-to-be-released at the time this movie came out Mercedes Sport-Utes were featured in this movie.)
6. Jurassic Park - B/F Goodwrench All Terrain Tires:
This one is subtle and kind of funny, actually, but also kind of shameless. Nedry is trying to catch up to the boat taking island workers off the island -which is being threatened by a tropical storm- even though he was told by a dockmaster like half an hour ago that the boat was leaving any moment. Nedry has also, presumably, traveled to and from the dock and the main building many times as part of his job on the island but yet can't find his own ass with both hands and a road map.
Anyway, he slides off the muddy road, slides into a ravine, and the Jeep gets stuck on a downed tree. We get a camera shot of a uselessly spinning tire as it stops on the white-on-black lettering "BF Goodwrench" the tire spins again and stops on "All Terrain - A/T." It's also counter productive because these product-placed tires got Nedry stuck on a tree and quickly eaten by a dinosaur.
5. Demolition Man - Taco Bell
This movie takes place sometime in 2030s. In it Taco Bell is the only restaurant in the country somehow surviving the "franchise wars" that happened decades earlier, "now all restaurants are Taco Bell!" The restaurant is also regarded as fine-dining and, it seems, no restaurant, ever, since these "franchise wars" has tried to enter the market to, you know, give people something different to eat.
4. Casino Royale - Omega Watches
Bond and Vesper are talking and she notices his watch. "Rolex?" she asks. "Omega," Bond answers. "Beautiful." she purrs. Uh-huh.
3. Star Trek (2009) - Nokia Phones
It's the mid 23rd century - nearly 300 years from now. A young James T. Kirk steals his step-father's circa 1966 Corvette and speeds down an Iowan road in it. A familiar sound goes off making many in the theater groan, roll their eyes, and look around the theater to see who the asshole is. The asshole turns out to be James Kirk. Apparently Nokia will not only survive the world-wars that will happen between now and then, survive 300 years, but they also won't change their theme tune. And, no, I don't buy the explanation that the phone in the car was installed in, and from, the 21st century. It still works and apparently the father knows the number for it. This is like stealing your dad's Model-T that has a working marconi machine in it and he's able to use his own marconi machine in it to yell at you. Oh, and to make matters worse the display for the Nokia phone device in the car says, "Nokia.com" on it. Because the internet is still around 300 years from now and file names will still have to be used to navigate it.
2. The Wizard - The Whole Fucking Movie
This whole movie is just an advertisement for Nintendo. Pure and simple, more-so Nintendo Power Magazine. This movie was made for ONE reason: To sell Nintendo games.
1. Smallville - Stride Gum
An entire fucking episode was made for this series solely to promote Stride Gum. Stride Gum apparently has a factory in Metropolis, a short drive from the titular town of our beloved super mopedope Clark Kent, and some evil fuck-tard in their R/D department has decided to take the meteor fragments from recent meteor showers (we know these fragments as kryptonite) and infuse its radioactive, rocky, goodness into gum. Strangely, this isn't the oddest use for kryptonite in Smallville which has been used as an enhancement for tattoo ink, sports drinks, perfumes, fuel-enhacment for street-racers and for ring-stones. Seriously, the stuff is like duct tape AND WD-40 rolled into one. There's nothing it can't do, we'll except not make a certain Kryptonian sick.
Anyway, this episode centers around the Gum-form of Kryptonite's versatile-for-all-consumer-goods-self and apparently chewing this gum -as Pete (a once regular, now greatly recurring character) does- gives one super-powers, it turns Pete into Mr. Fantastic. Or, rather, Mr. Incredible Douchebag. To make all of this worse while talking with Clark about the problem they're facing with their mutual friend Chloe learns of this Stride gum's power and states, "I guess next time I guess they won't make the flavor last so long." It's the first time I ever told Chloe to shut up.
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In the end, the only way they could figure out to fit in this piece of product placement was to put the California Raisins logo on the bus bench that the bum is sleeping on at the end of the film. Ultimately, Universal gave the California Raisins people their money back.
