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If your CAR was the U.S.S. Enterprise...

Joshua Howard

Captain
Captain
I am pretty sure that I am not the only person who, while driving down the road, has occasionally fantasized being captain of a Federation spacecraft and replacing the road with an open starfield; especially if it is a long freeway drive and the stars are visible overhead.

That is exactly what I was doing earlier today, and as I cruised from Seattle down to Tacoma, I did some serious thinking about the best way to compare MPH to the speeds at which the Enterprise travels, proportionately.

By the time I reached home, I had come up with this wonderful little diagram in my head which attributes handy TREK-compatable titles to speeds to which we can personally relate in the 21st century:

MPH
1-9 = Auxiliary Thrusters Only
10+ = 1/4 Impulse
20+ = 1/2 Impulse
30+ = 3/4 Impulse
40+ = Full Impulse
55+ = Warp 1
60+ = Warp 2
65+ = Warp 4
70+ = Warp 6
75+ = Warp 8
80+ = Warp 9
85+ = Warp 9.5
90+ = All Good Things must come to an end...

It all started off a while back when I created a simpler algorithm which suggested that 10 MPH = Warp 1, 20 = W2, and so on; but after a short while of thinking on it, I realized that it just didn't make sense to be travelling at the equivalent of Warp Factor 1 while in a parking lot. :p
 
If my car was a starship I would use my deflectors to push everyone out of the way during rush-hour traffic. Starfleet emergency.
 
I always just use the surface streets as impulse, and the freeways as warp speed. I don't want to deal with the math using the other system.
 
High-beams: phasers
Horn: torpedoes

For some reason, phasers are more effective at night...
 
Back in the 70s when Trek was just a fan thing and Lincoln Enterprises was young, I had a red engraves plaque on the dashboard of my 1965 Corvair that said "USS ENTERRPISE - BRIDGE"

I was ahead of my time. :)
 
I play odometer poker while I drive so haven't thought of this. Fun. Once in an interview though, I was asked how I deal with monotonous data inputting while working at my computer, and I answered that I pretend I'm on the bridge of the Enterprise, working controls and firing phasers at Klingon battlecruisers. (It was an in house promotion so they knew me) The head guy said he was going to leave that question out next time he interviewed. I don't know what anyone else said so I hope it wasn't just me.
 
I play odometer poker while I drive so haven't thought of this. Fun. Once in an interview though, I was asked how I deal with monotonous data inputting while working at my computer, and I answered that I pretend I'm on the bridge of the Enterprise, working controls and firing phasers at Klingon battlecruisers. (It was an in house promotion so they knew me) The head guy said he was going to leave that question out next time he interviewed. I don't know what anyone else said so I hope it wasn't just me.

That didn't merit an immediate payraise and promo? What kind of crazy company are you trapped working for? ;)
 
Oh, other thoughts:

cell phone = subspace communications (never EVER use subspace communications while alone in your vessel at warp! Have the co-pilot do it)
GPS = sensors/astrometrics
wheels = nacelles :)
 
A few weeks ago I had organized my six and four year olds into my starship crew as we drove somewhere and had a mission. My daughter tried to get into the game. It was so damn cute when the ship was "damaged," and my seven year old called on the communicator for Handy Manny to come fix the ship.
 
I play odometer poker while I drive so haven't thought of this. Fun. Once in an interview though, I was asked how I deal with monotonous data inputting while working at my computer, and I answered that I pretend I'm on the bridge of the Enterprise, working controls and firing phasers at Klingon battlecruisers. (It was an in house promotion so they knew me) The head guy said he was going to leave that question out next time he interviewed. I don't know what anyone else said so I hope it wasn't just me.

That didn't merit an immediate payraise and promo? What kind of crazy company are you trapped working for? ;)

County of Sacramento (CA) I guess because I find it so difficult to lie, I told the truth. I didn't get the job though ugh.
 
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