cylkoth, I notice that most of your examples are from early in Season 1, when Archer and T'Pol's relationship was purposefully rocky. Archer, by his own admission at the end of "Broken Bow," had prejudices about Vulcans that he needed to get past. It would not have been credible to me for him to discard a lifetime of bias overnight -- especially bias that arose largely from what he considered a grave injustice done to his father. It didn't help Archer that he kept encountering Vulcans who
were duplicitous, arrogant, and secretive.
Actually, the same goes for T'Pol: she had preconceptions about humans that took her quite a while to overcome.
An oft-used source of conflict on the show was Archer's emotional point of view, the way he identified with people in need, or people unfairly treated, vs. T'Pol's efficient, unemotional (read: no-fun, callous) perspective. Sure, Archer's enthusiasm and impulsiveness led to trouble sometimes (not all the time) -- it was part of his learning process. He was unrealistically idealistic at first, and he had to adjust. I thought T'Pol was downright annoying a lot of the time early on, and deliberately so; it was part of
her learning process to loosen up and be less condescending toward the humans.
Breaking the Ice...
T'POL: Your advice, Commander.
TUCKER: What do you want to do?
T'POL: That is irrelevant.
TUCKER: No, it's not. It's very relevant. Do you want to go back and marry this guy, spend a year with him, ten years, a hundred years, or do you want to stay on Enterprise?
T'POL: I have an obligation.
TUCKER: You've got an obligation to yourself. You've spent the last year around humans. If there's one thing you should have learned it's that we're free to make our own decisions. There's a lot to be said for personal choice.
T'POL: If you'd spent the last year on Vulcan, you would have learned that our commitment to tradition outweighs personal choice.
TUCKER: I respect your customs, but this marriage was arranged when you were a kid. A lot's happened since then. People change.
T'POL: Vulcan's don't.
TUCKER: Really.
T'POL: My obligation is to my culture, my heritage. It has to take precedence.
Chuck Vulcan custom sweetie, we humans know better than you pointy eared know-it-alls. You should be more like us, and less like yourselves.
Trip was also purposefully set up at first as a very human foil for T'Pol's extreme Vulcanness -- but they learned from each other. This scene, and this episode, is an example of that.
I didn't see a "you should be more like us" attitude from Trip during this scene. He was giving her advice that she requested, from the perspective of a human who didn't understand or like Vulcan tradition. Her reaction was to take him to task for it, but such contradictory behavior is a classic "tell," revealing her own inner turmoil regarding her obligation as a Vulcan. (Trip was also extremely troubled by his inadvertent invasion into her privacy, and made sure to apologize to her. Not exactly "bully" behavior.)
Note that by the episode's end, T'Pol did choose
Enterprise over Vulcan custom. She appeared to have taken Trip's words to heart. Even about pecan pie.
Horizon...
ARCHER: Might be a good idea for you to go, too. It might be fun, and a little fraternising couldn't hurt.
T'POL: I don't understand how sitting silently in a darkened room constitutes fraternising.
ARCHER: It's a communal experience. Tell you what, let's make a night of it. Dinner in the Captain's Mess eighteen hundred, movie at nineteen thirty. You'll be my date.
T'POL: I beg your pardon?
ARCHER: I'll be a perfect gentleman. And if you don't like the movie, I'll never ask you to sit through another one.
I have no interest in attending...You
MUST attend, I demand that you give something that you're aware of-as you lived on Earth for several years but never bothered with because you had no interest in, a try, because it would make
me feel better.
"You
must attend"? I saw T'Pol failing to see the purpose of going to a movie, and Archer asking her to give it a try.
There are different ways to interpret scenes, and characters, and intentions. It all depends on the viewer's perspective, I think.