Movie Caption Contest #110: Blu-Ray Blues - The Search For Spock

[Rat Boy]

Well, with another Internet meme run into the ground, it's time for another caption contest. First, though, let's rip the microphones out of the hands of...

For Admiral Kirk always assuming the worst, our winner is...

Kirk: So you want Genesis

Khan: Nope, already have a nice paradise planet located that we're going to settle on.
Kirk: Then you want revenge...fine, I'll beam over to your ship and we'll

Khan: Nope, couldn't really give a rat's ass about you or your ship.

Kirk: But I marooned your people, left you on a world where your wife died.

Khan: Yeah, yeah, that pissed me off once. But I did a lot of inner dialogue, talked things over with our group's Chaplin, processed my emotions, and moved on with my life.

Kirk: So what do you want Khan...tell me!

Khan: what are you talking about, you called me.

And for Ru'afo...hey, wait a minute, what's he doing here?

"Yo Ru'Afo, I'm really happy for yo and imma let yo finish but Khan was the baddest ass villain of them all"

And the Photoshop award...

Picard: "What better way to honor our fallen friend on her birthday, than to watch her hump a toaster in slow-motion, over and over?"

Congratulations to the winners and here's the current tally:

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 50
Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 50
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 43
Shatmandu (Hall of Fame) 31
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 26
The Laughing Vulcan (Hall of Fame) 23
middyseafort (Hall of Fame) 23
Outpost4 (Hall of Fame) 21
Triskelion (Hall of Fame) 21
Turd Ferguson 17
Diesel Micky Dolenz 14
Skywalker 12
Alrik 12
LeadHead 12
Nebusj 11
scottydog 11
DS9Sega 11
EliyahuQeoni 10
zephramc 10
Herkimer Jitty 10
BriGuy 9
Tharpdevenport 9
Kirby 9
Kegek 8
cultcross 7
John_Picard 6
Atavachron 6
jptrekker 6
captain crow 6
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
The Cutest of Borg 5
Bad Atom 5
TheGallifreyanSith 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Peach Wookie 4
Mistral 4
Woulfe 4
Piper 4
B.J. 4
Daneel 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
Amasov 3
SalvorHardin 3
Hartzilla2007 3
Classic Fan 3
M'Sharak 3
Civil Shadow 3
The Squire of Gothos 3
Deranged Nasat 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
thedude 2
S'Kai 2
seigezunt 2
trampledamage 2
protocida 2
BriGuy 2
26138 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
Toban Kal 1
trilbymonkey 1
Will 1
Captain Mike 1
T'Boggan 1
Dimesdan 1
shivkala 1
KirkusOveractus 1
CTM 1
Emperor-Tiberius 1
Alpha_Geek 1
Zachary_Smith 1
Plum 1
3 of 11 1
jongredic 1
Super Grover 1
T'Aerwynd 1
shivkala 1
Jackson_Roykirk 1
The Badger 1
Captain Zog 1
J. Allen 1
Lashmore 1
NickRyder 1
Aragorn 1
USS Bones 1

This week, we dip back into the Blu-Ray collection with the third feature film. First up, the captain of the merchant freighter regrets that he didn't bother to use the peephole in the guest cabin while Valkris was aboard. Second, the Spock-possessed McCoy gets caught going through Uhura's underwear drawer. Third, it wouldn't be a TSFS-themed caption contest without...Grignak! Finally, Scotty discovers that Kirk's code for the Enterprise's self destruct is the same as the combination for his luggage. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Valkris: "I guess I'll die like I lived; surrounded by sweaty, unwashed petaQ."

McCoy: "Whatd'ya mean the Cowboys lost at home?"

Grignak: "Can pores see in definition high?"

Kirk: "I told you we should've stolen the Excelsior."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Blake: "Hey Baldy, why's Servelan got a bumpy forehead?"

SpCoy: "To kick someone in the genitals is not logical."
Kirk: "It's my revenge, for all those nude jumping jacks."

"When 1080 pixels you reach, look as good you will not, hmmm?"

Kirk: "... so there you have it gentleman, Carl SpCoy has turned the bridge into a red light district, but all he has to pimp is Sulu, and with that jacket you're wearing Chekov, he'll probably think you're a suitable client. Suggestions?"
Chekov: "Ve could blow the sheep up."
Scott: "Aye, and neglect tae tell them."

 

[Alrik]

Grignak: "BAAAaaack, I am."

 

[CTM]

Something in my teeth have I?

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "What do you mean you forgot the code?"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Chekov: "Old Russian saying is appropriate to this situation, 'Red sky at night, Chekov's delight...'"

 

[cooleddie74]

HUMAN NAVIGATOR:"Say what you will about Klingon men, Mac...their broads?

I could nurse off them targ puppies ALL DAY..."

"Kanye West did WHAT?!"

GRIGNAK:"My own face, YES...Chia Pet? NOOOO...."

SCOTTY:"When do WE get a bloody turn, Admiral?

Chekov and I did pay for the wee game all by ourselves, after all!"

 

[cooleddie74]

VALKRIS:"Beginning transmission of the Genesis data...now.

I even threw in some hilarious LOLtargs at the end to lighten the mood on the bridge over there!"

 

[Maurice]

VALKRIS: Here is the tape of Genesis, my Lord.
TAPE (PLAYING): She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
She reaches in, and grabs right hold of your heart
She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
It takes control and slowly tears you apart.

BONES: No! She didn't play that!

GRIGNAK: Genesis allowed is not! Is music forbidden!

SCOTTY: And then the Klingon bitch played the Phil Collins Genesis! Not the Peter Gabriel Genesis.
KIRK: Klingon bastards!

 

[cooleddie74]

VALKRIS:"If you loved Genesis, My Lord...you will also enjoy the solo data compiled by their most well-known researcher, Philip Collins."

KIRK:"Dammit, man...you're a DOCTOR and you still haven't fixed your own thyroid problem?!"

"Feathered my face is...for HER pleasure, yes!!"

CHEKOV:"Vould dees be a bad time to mention I have diarrhea?"

 

[Alrik]

McCoy: "You bet it ALL on USC??!!"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

In a moving and heartfelt address to the nation, Grignak reveals the truth about conditions in the Caption Contest Waiting Room:

"...and forced to skin and cook Keyboard Cat for food, Mrs Slocombe and Conway Twitty were....

"Dear god, no!"

"In this day and age!"

"...Shave Carl Spock's 'fro for bedding, we did..."

...Rendered incoherent and near catatonic through boredom, was Arse-Rubbing Clone McCoy, ...

"...Thought there could be no greater torment, I did..."

Scotty: "Aye, he's telling the truth, lads. I were there myself following the contest with the hole in my wall".

Chekov: "These Trek BBS fiends..."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

This old man, he has Spock
There's a Spock inside this Doc
With a Nick-Nack, Grignak
Katra-bearing strife
Now watch Spock come back to life...

 

[Alrik]

Valkris:"Transmitting Genesis data..now."

Kruge(filtered): "Then you have seen the recording?"

Valkris: "Yes, my lord."

Kruge(filtered): "Unforturnate....but of no matter. Did you also bring the coffee and doughnuts as ordered?"

Valkris: "Yes my lord, but they were all out of Bear Claws."

Kruge(filtered): "What? FIRE!"

Grignak: "On planet from am I, 'bling' called it is."

Chekov: "No, I don't tink I'f ewer been da meat in a vite bread sandvich, vy do you ask?"

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"I have acquired the Genesis tape, as well as the Blu-Ray edition of Spice World, as per your orders, my Lord!"

"You left me... at a Genesis cover band concert. Why did you do that?"

"Band YOU name... track I name, otherwise quarter for jukebox noooooooo!"

Computer: "Awaiting final code from a crewmember without a horrible grasp of the English language."

 

[cooleddie74]

HUMAN NAVIGATOR:"No offense, M'Lady...but when do we get paid? I've got seven ex-wives and a shitload of alimony to catch up on!!"

"Combination skin...they say I have, yes?"

SCOTTY:"Is that YOUR hand on my bloody thigh, Admiral?"

CHEKOV*quietly whistling*)

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY:"WHOA, Jim!!!

That had better be a hydrospanner in your right pocket!"

KIRK:"We don't have pockets, Bones."

McCOY:"PERVERT!!!!"

 

[Rat Boy]

It was then that Grignak finally got all the Genesis jokes.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Flouride toothpaste I use NOT!!! Is hygiene forbidden!!!"