Spanking bad for kids?

[Lookingglassman]

Kids need their butts beat, that is the problem with them now. Time outs and other non painful punishments are a waste of time.

When I was young my mother beat the heck out of me with an extension chord and she didnt care where it landed on my body. I had welts on my head, back, butt, legs, stomach. I felt like a runaway slave after those beatings, but I learned to act right.

 

[trampledamage]

Kids need their butts beat, that is the problem with them now. Time outs and other non painful punishments are a waste of time.

When I was young my mother beat the heck out of me with an extension chord and she didnt care where it landed on my body. I had welts on my head, back, butt, legs, stomach. I felt like a runaway slave after those beatings, but I learned to act right.

I hope to Christ you neither have, nor plan to have, children.

There is a lot wrong with society today and there's a lot wrong with a lot of children, but beating them with an extension cord until they get welts is not the cure.

Patience and time is the cure. Time spent with them, doing what they want for a while, giving them the chance to shine and receive positive attention. That'll end bad behaviour far faster than any beating.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Hitting with an *extension cord* is out of line, of course, but the occasional spank does not equate to abuse.

Time-outs? Do those even scare kids anymore? Seems like New Age psychobabble to me.

 

[trampledamage]

Time-outs? Do those even scare kids anymore? Seems like New Age psychobabble to me.

A time-out was never meant to scare the kid, it's simply taking them away from what they are doing and making them stand/sit quietly for a few minutes. Often that's enough to calm them down and let them continue playing in a better mood.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

A time-out was never meant to scare the kid, it's simply taking them away from what they are doing and making them stand/sit quietly for a few minutes.

Unfortunately I cannot write an effective reply to this, because my sarcasm factor would go into overdrive.

 

[Raven_Shayde]

A time-out was never meant to scare the kid, it's simply taking them away from what they are doing and making them stand/sit quietly for a few minutes.

Unfortunately I cannot write an effective reply to this, because my sarcasm factor would go into overdrive.

Oh please do! I for one am a fan of the sarcasm

 

[Deckerd]

Kids need their butts beat, that is the problem with them now. Time outs and other non painful punishments are a waste of time.

When I was young my mother beat the heck out of me with an extension chord and she didnt care where it landed on my body. I had welts on my head, back, butt, legs, stomach. I felt like a runaway slave after those beatings, but I learned to act right.

That's why you enjoy running over people with your tank.

 

[Sean Aaron]

I've never spanked either of my children. It's not necessary.

I think there's a misperception that if you don't spank your kids, you're automatically too lenient and they'll be spoiled, etc. That is pure nonsense. You can be a strict parent with firm rules and high expectations without resorting to violence. It just takes more time and effort, which sadly some parents don't want to make.

I agree completely. The only lesson I can see to be learned by using violence as punishment is that violence is a legitimate way to resolve problems.

The sanctions have always worked wonders for me. In addition following through on what you say you're going to do (no matter how miserable it makes you) and being consistent are so very very important. The kids like to test and see what they can get away with. And I agree that spanking as a "last resort" is lazy...get a book/talk to somebody and figure out other more productive ways to handle it. There is help out there if you want it and if you do a little research...but I guess it's easier to just smack them on the ass.

It's extra work up front to creatively punish them and to follow through and stick to your guns...but you'll save yourself a lot of shit later on.

This is so true. Never make an ultimatum you aren't willing to back up. I'm slightly more authoritarian than my wife, but mostly it's down to determining which battles are worth fighting (being a contributing member of the household -- that is performing tasks that aren't rewarded with an allowance but stuff you just should be doing anyway -- and basic things like not treating people/animals badly) and ensuring that the child understands the reasons behind your request. Our 6y.o. is not receptive to "because I said so" -- assuming it's rationally laid out then she has no cause to complain about being treated unfairly. We've had regular testing of the limits and are always united in standing firm (yes, she's tried the old asking the other parent if one says no).

I cannot see a circumstance where I'd use violence as a punishment though. I'd think I'd have failed somewhere along the line if that was the case.

 

[TheLonelySquire]

Time-outs? Do those even scare kids anymore? Seems like New Age psychobabble to me.

A time-out was never meant to scare the kid, it's simply taking them away from what they are doing and making them stand/sit quietly for a few minutes. Often that's enough to calm them down and let them continue playing in a better mood.

The second that I have to give my child a "time-out" ends any further chance they will be playing anytime soon.

 

[DiSiLLUSiON]

When I was young my mother beat the heck out of me with an extension chord and she didnt care where it landed on my body. I had welts on my head, back, butt, legs, stomach. I felt like a runaway slave after those beatings, but I learned to act right.

Beating kids with an extension chord doesn't learn them to act right, it learns them to not think for themselves and to be very afraid.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Extremely well said. You are most likely a fine parent. Just don't feed the dog's food to the kids lest you get whacked!

I know we're not perfect, but we do our best.

Couldn't keep the damn kids out of the dog food, though. We ended up having to move it outside because the kids either wanted to eat it or play with it (put it in the dogs' water bowl.) I have no idea why. I won't taste it myself to see what the big deal is.

 

[JuanBolio]

The only lesson I can see to be learned by using violence as punishment is that violence is a legitimate way to resolve problems.

It is a legitimate way to solve problems, just usually not the preferable way. However, quite a few of conflicts throughout the course of history have been solved with the application of violence.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

A time-out was never meant to scare the kid, it's simply taking them away from what they are doing and making them stand/sit quietly for a few minutes.

Unfortunately I cannot write an effective reply to this, because my sarcasm factor would go into overdrive.

Oh please do! I for one am a fan of the sarcasm

Okay...since you asked, and you have such an utterly cool user name, I will agree.

"oh, NO! They have to sit in a corner for five minutes and think! That's such an unbelievably harsh punishment! Whatever shall they DO? That hurts SO...MUCH..."

How's that?

 

[Vendikarr]

I have three children, ages 21, 19 and 15. I can count on one hand the number of times I have spanked them. A spanking only came into affect in the most rare of situations, when no other form of punishment worked.

I have never had to spank my son. He came around last, and his sisters actually helped me to the job of parenting, by helping keep him out of trouble, and letting him know what could get him in trouble.

I physically and verbally abused by my father as a child, and taking a hand to my kids was extremely difficult, but in rare cases, necessary.

 

[Raven_Shayde]

Unfortunately I cannot write an effective reply to this, because my sarcasm factor would go into overdrive.

Oh please do! I for one am a fan of the sarcasm

Okay...since you asked, and you have such an utterly cool user name, I will agree.

"oh, NO! They have to sit in a corner for five minutes and think! That's such an unbelievably harsh punishment! Whatever shall they DO? That hurts SO...MUCH..."

How's that?

Why thankyou . And that was of the awesome! I could feel the sarcasm seeping right through the screen

 

[Itisnotlogical]

Although I'm not a father and don't plan to be as far as I can see into the immediate future, I have had to deal with my sister's one-year-old nephew for a month or so while she did something locally. Mostly when he starts crying and wasn't hungry and didn't have a bad diaper, I just pointed at him and went "stop!". I can't really see a situation so bad with him as to require anything else, other than to let him play with my (thankfully very sturdy) USS Enterprise replica. I can't really see myself doing anything more stern, and certainly not re-enacting some of the horror stories my mom told me while she was working for CPS.

 

[Sean Aaron]

The only lesson I can see to be learned by using violence as punishment is that violence is a legitimate way to resolve problems.

It is a legitimate way to solve problems, just usually not the preferable way. However, quite a few of conflicts throughout the course of history have been solved with the application of violence.

Cite an example where violence was used in the first instance (NOT as a response to violence by another party).

 

[Danoz]

I don't think it's necessary.

Granted, I was a kid who would have relished in "being sent to my room" -- so my parents had to employ the use of manual labor. I often had to do pushups-situps, hold phone books against the wall, carry items from one end of the yard to another, clean the garage, etc. My punishments were far worse than a "spanking" lol

 

[Mr Awe]

The only lesson I can see to be learned by using violence as punishment is that violence is a legitimate way to resolve problems.

It is a legitimate way to solve problems, just usually not the preferable way. However, quite a few of conflicts throughout the course of history have been solved with the application of violence.

Solving problems of a historical magnitude bares almost no similarity to solving discipline problems with young kids. If you think those are on par, you are sadly mistaken.

Mr Awe

 

[Cakes488]

When can we start discussing adults and spanking?? LOL