Spanking bad for kids?

[Sledder]

Speaking as a father of three all under the age of 5 I believe there are times when spanking is necessary. Yes it's all fine and good to put them into a timeout and that is always the first resort. However not all kids take that as well as others, some will just sit there and it's not a big deal, others will hate it and avoid it at all costs.

A lot depends on the situation at the time, however as someone who was spanked and someone who does spank from time to time I see nothing wrong with it when applied properly.

 

[Mr Awe]

Spanking is for lazy parents. We've been able to raise a very well-behaved toddler with no spanking. It can take more effort but it's worth it. Spanking teaches kids that violence is an acceptable solution to everday problems, hence they're more aggressive. Not really a surprise.

Mr Awe

Mr

 

[Sledder]

Every child is different and different children require different punishments. You can't base the need for spanking off of the experience of raising just one or two children. It depends greatly on the child.

 

[Mr Awe]

^^ That's where good parenting comes in. Like I said, it takes more work to find out what else works, but it's not rocket science.

Spanking is the lazy way out. Do what I say or I'll hit you.

Mr Awe

 

[WillsBabe]

I was smacked as a kid by my mother. I remember distinctly the day I turned around and smacked her back. She didn't do it again.

 

[Sledder]

^^ That's where good parenting comes in. Like I said, it takes more work to find out what else works, but it's not rocket science.

Spanking is the lazy way out. Do what I say or I'll hit you.

Mr Awe

I disagree, if you have an issue with spanking that's cool but it can be effective if used correctly and sparingly. The problem with it is it's potential to go too far but you can't paint everyone with that brush.

 

[Saturn0660]

If you slapped your wife around 3 times a week it wouldn't be considered acceptable.

Depends on what part of the world you're from..

 

[Mr Awe]

^^ That's where good parenting comes in. Like I said, it takes more work to find out what else works, but it's not rocket science.

Spanking is the lazy way out. Do what I say or I'll hit you.

Mr Awe

I disagree, if you have an issue with spanking that's cool but it can be effective if used correctly and sparingly. The problem with it is it's potential to go too far but you can't paint everyone with that brush.

I agree that spanking changes behavior. Some of which you intend, a lot of which you don't intend.

Frankly, using violence to solve everyday problems is extreme and can have a backlash. There are a ton of very effective, non-violent solutions.

Mr Awe

 

[Cakes488]

Spanking just sets a poor example for the children...more of a do what I say not what I do sorta thing.

I would never hit a child...ever. I don't understand using spanking as a last resort...what constitues a last resort and what do the kids learn from being hit?

When you punish your child they key is being consistent...and I don't mean consistently hitting them....lOL

 

[Mr Awe]

Cakes, as usual, has got it right!

Mr Awe

 

[The Grim Ghost]

I think it is important to remember that there are different levels of spanking.

A few quick but firm swats on the butt...I don't see that as a bad thing at all.

But then you have these people using belts, switches, etc..that I see as a bad thing and way too brutal of a punishment.

 

[Shatmandu]

We've never spanked either of our kids, and the boy is a friggin' pain in the ass.

In his case, at 1.75, it's easier to outsmart the little shit than to whack him across the ass. If he's acting like a prick, I can always distract him or get his attention in some other way: pulling a face, picking him up and rough-housing with him, etc.

If that doesn't work, we put him in his empty playpen in his room and shut the door. My wife says we "put him in time-out", but I say we, "put the little fucker in his cage."

He yells for a minute or so, then starts calling for us by name. If he yells longer, he stays longer.

All kids are different, though, so I wouldn't presume to tell others how to deal with their kids. It's up to the parent.

Joe, dah-DEE

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Last time I got spanked was when I was 9. My dad had dropped me off at a movie theater - can't remember what movie I was supposed to see - but I noticed that ST:TMP was playing there, so I went and saw that instead. But it got out later, so I wasn't there when my dad came to pick me up.

Can't say I blame him, either. I think I deserved to get my ass whipped.

That being said...even though I know I don't want kids, I don't think I would spank them if I had any.

I don't think I could handle being spanked as an adult either.

 

[Mistral]

We've never spanked either of our kids, and the boy is a friggin' pain in the ass.

In his case, at 1.75, it's easier to outsmart the little shit than to whack him across the ass. If he's acting like a prick, I can always distract him or get his attention in some other way: pulling a face, picking him up and rough-housing with him, etc.

If that doesn't work, we put him in his empty playpen in his room and shut the door. My wife says we "put him in time-out", but I say we, "put the little fucker in his cage."

He yells for a minute or so, then starts calling for us by name. If he yells longer, he stays longer.

All kids are different, though, so I wouldn't presume to tell others how to deal with their kids. It's up to the parent.

Joe, dah-DEE

That is true, it is up to the parents. Someone said "How do you decide when its a last resort?"

I keep it simple. First time is, "Don't/stop doing that."

Second time is some form of threat of penalty. "I'll take that away if you don't stop hitting the dog with it."

The spankings come into play at our house when the behavior itself is violent/inflicts pain on another-we certainly wouldn't swat him for refusing to eat his corn/peas. But every action carries a consequence-don't eat your dinner tonight, it's breakfast, m'boy(he only tested that once). Pain is used to illustrate-he bites someone and he gets a taste of pain with the admonishment that "You like that? No? Then what makes you think ----- likes it when you do what you did?" Fortunately, my child has a quick mind and a sunny disposition so the need for such punishment is minimal. Frankly, I've seen children where "the rod" was spared-and the little devils KNOW the consequences are insignificant. So they repeat bad behavior because they aren't afraid of what will happen. My son makes mistakes-but only once. Typically I can get away with explaining his responsibilities in a given situation(I said he was quick) but knowing what the ultimate retribution/punishment could be seems to keep him from running wild over and over again. My child, my choice.

 

[Mr Awe]

We've never spanked either of our kids, and the boy is a friggin' pain in the ass.

In his case, at 1.75, it's easier to outsmart the little shit than to whack him across the ass. If he's acting like a prick, I can always distract him or get his attention in some other way: pulling a face, picking him up and rough-housing with him, etc.

If that doesn't work, we put him in his empty playpen in his room and shut the door. My wife says we "put him in time-out", but I say we, "put the little fucker in his cage."

He yells for a minute or so, then starts calling for us by name. If he yells longer, he stays longer.

All kids are different, though, so I wouldn't presume to tell others how to deal with their kids. It's up to the parent.

Joe, dah-DEE

With this post, I think I understand why you seem more crotchety on the BBS recently! Parenthood can be an ordeal at times. My best wishes to you and your family.

Mr Awe

 

[sidious618]

It's bad to hit children?!?! Shit, next someone will tell me that water is wet and that bears shit in the woods.

 

[cultcross]

water is wet and that bears shit in the woods.

Link?

 

[Kelso]

I agree with those who said that children are individuals. What works for one may not work for another.

I've never given my three year old an honest-to-God spanking, but I have given her a pop on the heinie to get her attention if she was being particularily hysterical. Though, through the layers of fabric and diaper a pop like that isn't painful.

These incidents have become increasingly rare, however, as she is too damned stubborn for it to be effective. She is more likely to ball up her fist and yell "Pow!" in a threatening manner... and I certainly have no intention of getting in to a hitting contest with someone who is 1/8 my size.

Time-out, on the other hand, drives her absolutely bananas and has become our last-resort punishment. Having to sit still and stare at the wall for five minutes is almost more than she can stand. Usually, the threat of time-out is enough to straighten out her behavior.

Most of the time I only have to say something like, "Do you want to get in to trouble?" or "Only sweet little girls get dessert" and she will behave herself. But, as I said, she is only three years old. Who knows what the future may bring.

I don't have a problem with spanking, in theory. Some kids may require it. I was spanked with some regularity when I was a child (my mother grew up on a farm with 6 brothers in rural GA and literally had to pick her own switch) and I turned out a reasonably well adjusted and non-violent person. In the case of my child it just hasn't seemed necessary.

I was smacked as a kid by my mother. I remember distinctly the day I turned around and smacked her back. She didn't do it again.

That would have been the end of me, right there.

 

[sidious618]

water is wet and that bears shit in the woods.

Link?

You've seen through me.

 

[WillsBabe]

I was smacked as a kid by my mother. I remember distinctly the day I turned around and smacked her back. She didn't do it again.

That would have been the end of me, right there.

I was 16 and I'd had enough.