Robau is the Walrus. And every other badass sea mammal on the planet rolled into one.
Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
- Start date
- Status
Plecostomus
Commodore
Robau requires 60 more posts to reach Boner Brigade And Marching Band Singularity.
When Robau reaches 200 pages, the Cosmic Gateway will open and the universe will be flooded with quintillions of tiny Badassitons. They will imbue the cosmos with more mojo than it's ever known.
When the Robau reaches 5000 posts, time and space will fold in on itself and kick itself in the balls because it knows it is still less awesome than Robau!
Captain Robau gets no kick from champagne.
Captain Robau could be irresponsible if he wanted to, he just chooses not to be.
Robau could be unreliable if he wanted to be. He chooses not to be.
Robau could be weak & not a badass if he wan.... ok, not really.
Can't be done.
Can't be done.
^ That is undenialbly true.
And if you claim otherwise, your death will be slow and agonizing.
Every time Robau punches you, you hear Journey's "Anyway You Want It" playing in the background.
Every time Robau punches you, he hears his own badass theme music running through his head. This pleases him.
Actually he put the kick there in the first place.
Captain Robau pummels people to Girls Just Want To Have Fun.
He's just that comfortable with his badassality.
He's just that comfortable with his badassality.
^Another indication of his comfort is that he likes to sing It's Raining Men in the shower.
Robau also enjoys eating rice cakes while singing along to My Boyfriend's Back, just to test the limits of his badassality; Which thus far has no foreseeable limits.
Robau likes Cocoa Pebbles better than Fruity Pebbles.
That should be all we need to know.
That should be all we need to know.
Captain Robau prefers Wheaties.
He read somewhere that it was the breakfast of champions.
He read somewhere that it was the breakfast of champions.
Sadly he has to make do with that, because their is no breakfast of badasses yet.
^
Actually there is.
Scrambled eggs, toast with butter and the blood of your enemies in a tall medieval goblet.
Actually there is.
Scrambled eggs, toast with butter and the blood of your enemies in a tall medieval goblet.
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