TOS Caption Contest #140: Scotty-Centric

[battrekker]

Kirk: "Well, don't look at me like that -- I didn't put it there, it sort of chased me down and rammed itself in there."

Scotty: "Ay, I know, but captain ... It's my missing finger we're talking about!"

(Thanks for the start, Tharp! )

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "The danger's too grrreat, Cap'n. Ye can't go."
Kirk: "Oh, okay. Then you go. <Pats Scotty on back.> We'll never forget you."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: Mira and Carolyn, sir???!! How could ye?

KIRK (shrugs): It's what I do.

 

[M'Sharak]

"Idiots. Can't they read?! My tag says 'TEAR SHIRT' and 'DRY CLEAN ONLY'!"​

 

[Tribble]

Oh, a win!

Scotty: I can't hear a heartbeat! It's dead, Jim!

Although they tried very hard, the crew didn't get why "listening to the Stones" had been so popular centuries back.

 

[Oceanborn_angel]

I'm guessing Chekov is either impressed by or really underwhelmed by Susan Boyle's dramatic makeover.

Kirk: Scotty, I don't think this is what our 20th Century ancestors were referring to as Rock music.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "What's up, Scott?"
Scott: "You're... you're... you're... you're... you're dethpicable!"

Scott: "Ahh, genuine Edinburgh granite. If ye put yer ear to it, ye can hear the sounds of a distillery."

Scott: "What de ye mean, 'It jes' fell out!'? Take me back to where I were copping a feel and help me look for ma finger."

McCoy: "Dammit Jim, enough is enough, that toupee..."
Kirk: "It's not a piece, for Chrisssake..."
McCoy: "Piece of not, attached or not, it's going in the synthetics cycle. It's beginning to smell like Uhura's undercarriage, and at least she has the decency to keep her knees together."

 

[Ward Fowler]

Kirk and Scotty instantly regret their alcohol-fueled three-way with a Horta.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Hey. Mr. Tambourine Man. Won't you sing. A song. For me.

 

[Oceanborn_angel]

Kirk: [allegedly singing] We all.....live in a....gray submarine...

 

[Tribble]

Kirk: [allegedly singing] We all.....live in a....gray submarine...

Mmh, what about yellow:

"Very funny, Scotty, now set the transporter settings back to normal!"

"Idiots. Can't they read?! My tag says 'TEAR SHIRT' and 'DRY CLEAN ONLY'!"

"I'm glad they ignored the "wash inside out" instruction, though."

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "I fixed your laptop. <Buries face in hands>"

Kirk, catty: "Everyone's coming to my birthday party but Scotty. I didn't invite him; he's not part of the in-crowd."
<Realizes, turns.>

 

[Rat Boy]

Doohan: "Step in my key light again and you'll have less fingers than I do, bitch."

Scotty: "I can hear the ocean!"

Kirk: "And I can hear myself getting a smarter engineer."

Apollo (off camera): "What?! What were you two doing back there?!"

Scotty: "You're a god. You figure it out!"

*LIGHTNING BOLT*

Shatner: "Stewardess, there's a man on the fiesta deck!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "I checked. He dinna change over the Movie Caption Contest yet. <Buries face in hands.>"
Kirk, whistfully: "And what of Lazarus?"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Scott: "Turrible day... Marvel has just been bought out by Disney!"
Kirk: "Doesn't what?"
Scott: "Disney, not disnae, ye daft apeth!"

 

[Oceanborn_angel]

Kirk: [allegedly singing] We all.....live in a....gray submarine...

Mmh, what about yellow:

Yes, that'll work too.

 

[Shatmandu]

Scott: "Turrible day... Marvel has just been bought out by Disney!"

Kirk, thinking: "Snow White and the Seven Spiderclones."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "What does it smell like?"
Scotty: "Like Satan hisself brewed a fart for a millenium."

Scotty: "I gotta get a smaller Hide-A-Key: this fookin' thing's heavy."

Kirk, laughing: "Couldn't get it up, huh? PUSSY!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Keenser may only eat a single bean at a time, but boy was he a monster in the sack.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Scotty: Cap'n, I think I wanna go back to that godforsaken rock, Delta Vega. Twas much safer there.