Six people to worry about today

[The Grim Ghost]

I went to the ABC store a few months back to buy a bottle of whiskey.

A young girl, probably in her early 20s cards me and tells me I'm not old enough to buy alcohol.

I ask her to look again, I was born in 76, I'm 33 years old!

This time she types it into the computer and still refuses to sell it to me.

Finally I ask to see the manager, who looks at my card and asks the girl to show them what she typed into the computer. She had been typing in 2006 as my birthdate instead of 76.

It didn't even occur to her that there was no possible way I could be 3 years old!!

 

[freak]

some people have blonde moments and I am known to have blonde moments all the time. It's like Bill Engvall's "Here's your sign" deals. I love one of the jokes he says..it's about an airport and it goes something like this:
Bill was getting off the plane and going into baggage claim and the plane lost his luggage so he had to go to lost luggage. Then he precedes to ask the audience, "who applies for this job? who says I wanna work in lost luggage? you don't have a good day! it's like emptying porta-potties; you're just gonna catch crap all day!" Anyway, he goes up to the counter and tells the lady that "hey my luggage has been misplaced and need to find it". The lady looks him right in the eye and says "has your plane landed yet?" He says "no, princess I'm having an outer body experience. I'm just checking on it!!"--Here's your sign!
Anyway, I don't get dumb people either..but sometimes you just have one of those off-days where you can't tell your head from your a-hole. It does happen and tends to happen frequently!

 

[troisboobs]

Haha, thanks for the laugh!

I've tried using a cigarette pack as a computer mouse..not once, but twice. *Shame*

 

[Trekker4747]

I've had more than one person ask me if our pork is kosher.

 

[RoJoHen]

I've had more than one person ask me if our pork is kosher.

 

[Aragorn]

While the list of six stories in the OP may or may not be fake, there are people like that.

If you know anyone who works in the sports department of a newspaper, ask him or her about the kind of callers they get. Like the people who call up to ask why the newspaper doesn't change the start time of a game to accommodate more people, or ask them why the newspaper isn't airing a game on TV.

Or the sports talk radio callers who call in to suggest that some team trades their five worst players for Albert Pujols and are dead serious about it.

 

[captcalhoun]

i work in a newsagents and have at various times tried barcode-scanning holiday brochures, catalogues for other stores, and other things we don't stock...

 

[Mistral]

I worked for Borders for a while and one of my kids was on register. He calls me up about an exchange. I get there and he tells me he can't find the book in any of our systems-not Borders Search, not by ISBN number, nothing. He's got the title page open and types the publisher's name in to search the Alibris system-nothing. The customer is adamant that he bought it at Borders. I glance at the title page to see if I know the title and in bright red letters there's a stamp that says: Complimentary, Not For Re-Sale. Promotional Copy Only. I really liked the kid so I just tapped the phrase with a finger and stepped back. I didn't want to humiliate him in public. Later, in the break room, though, I razzed him to no end. Did I mention-he was working at Borders to pay for his schooling. His chosen field? Nuclear Physics. I kid you not.

 

[RJDiogenes]

She said, "Kate, that document I sent you - I can't find the original anywhere." "Oh?" I said, wondering what this had to do with me. "Could you look around and see if it ended up there in Indy?" she asked.

One time one of my staff had to fax me something with personal info and she was concerned that someone else might see it before I picked it up. I said, "Just fax it in an envelope," and she said, "Okay!" Then after a pause, "Waaait a minute...."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

some people have blonde moments and I am known to have blonde moments all the time. It's like Bill Engvall's "Here's your sign" deals. I love one of the jokes he says..it's about an airport and it goes something like this:
Bill was getting off the plane and going into baggage claim and the plane lost his luggage so he had to go to lost luggage. Then he precedes to ask the audience, "who applies for this job? who says I wanna work in lost luggage? you don't have a good day! it's like emptying porta-potties; you're just gonna catch crap all day!" Anyway, he goes up to the counter and tells the lady that "hey my luggage has been misplaced and need to find it". The lady looks him right in the eye and says "has your plane landed yet?" He says "no, princess I'm having an outer body experience. I'm just checking on it!!"--Here's your sign!

My favorite Here's Your Sign bits are the one with the plane hitting a deer (Bill calls his wife about it and she says "Oh my God, were you on the Ground?" Bill says "No, Santa was making one last run...") and the one about the truck getting stuck under an overpass...

 

[Kirby]

This happened back in the mid 90's to my wife back when we were first dating... She was working in an office and the little wall between her cubicle and the next one that had two coat hooks where her and her neighbor each hung their coats. One morning the lady in the next cubicle came in and started to hang up her coat and completely freaked out and started screaming something like "oh my god there's a lizard on your coat!"
A bunch of people rushed over to see what was going on and my girlfriend had to tell her that that it was just a lizard pin, and it wasn't even a very realistic pin. The woman honestly thought that my wife had a tiny live lizard that she wore on her coat. This was also the middle of winter in Colorado where a lizard wouldn't survive more than 10 minutes at most.

 

[Trekker4747]

some people have blonde moments and I am known to have blonde moments all the time. It's like Bill Engvall's "Here's your sign" deals. I love one of the jokes he says..it's about an airport and it goes something like this:
Bill was getting off the plane and going into baggage claim and the plane lost his luggage so he had to go to lost luggage. Then he precedes to ask the audience, "who applies for this job? who says I wanna work in lost luggage? you don't have a good day! it's like emptying porta-potties; you're just gonna catch crap all day!" Anyway, he goes up to the counter and tells the lady that "hey my luggage has been misplaced and need to find it". The lady looks him right in the eye and says "has your plane landed yet?" He says "no, princess I'm having an outer body experience. I'm just checking on it!!"--Here's your sign!

My favorite Here's Your Sign bits are the one with the plane hitting a deer (Bill calls his wife about it and she says "Oh my God, were you on the Ground?" Bill says "No, Santa was making one last run...") and the one about the truck getting stuck under an overpass...

He's driving to a vacation destination in the middle of the Summer, he stops at a gas-station, attendant sees him and the sweat dripping off him, attendant: "Hot out there?"

Engval: "Nope. Drove in from the surface of the sun and we're trying to aclimate ourselves!"

 

[Nardpuncher]

This is actually a true story. When I was at university, we had an animal anatomy class, part of which included dissecting (ugly) critters. At one point, we were dissecting some worm thingy, and this girl, who was much older than any of us, due to having to repeat every single year about 3 times before passing, asked the following question:
Girl: "How do you know whether it's a male or a female?"
Other girl: "It's a hermaphrodite."
Girl: "Right. I'm thinking mine's male."
Other person: "No, it's a hermaphrodite."
Girl: "So a female?"
Entire class: "Hermaphrodite!"

You must have some pretty smart people there, because I wouldn't slight someone too much from not knowing what a hermaphrodite is.

My coworker that Imentioned before also , upon seeing an old pic of me in Garrison dress from my Canadina Armed Forces days said with a laugh, "Canada doesn't have an army!"
Iassured her we did, then she said again "No! Canada's so peaceful!"
Californians!

 

[Rii]

You must have some pretty smart people there, because I wouldn't slight someone too much from not knowing what a hermaphrodite is.

You might if you were in an anatomy class. with folks presumably having some theoretical background for the practical exercises being undertaken that day.

s'all contextual.

 

[NickInABox]

I hope it's just coincidence that these people are all women.

 

[Rii]

I hope it's just coincidence that these people are all women.

I hope it's just a coincidence that you assumed that the McDonalds cashier was female.

 

[Nardpuncher]

I had another coworker list Jane Aire as one of her favorite books.
You may say it's an honest mistake (though I hope you wouldn't) , but for crissakes don't list it as your favorite book if you can't spell it correctly.
She also used "your" instead of "you're" and even wrote "these students are to crazy." on a report to the boss.
Yes, we're teachers, though not real ones as I'm teaching in Asia.

 

[Strider]

I hope it's just coincidence that these people are all women.

I don't know why it would be.

Edit: Women are generally stupid you see.

 

[AdAstra]

You must have some pretty smart people there, because I wouldn't slight someone too much from not knowing what a hermaphrodite is.

You might if you were in an anatomy class. with folks presumably having some theoretical background for the practical exercises being undertaken that day.

s'all contextual.

It's pretty basic knowledge should you be planning to obtain an MSc in Biology...

 

[The Badger]

I've had more than one person ask me if our pork is kosher.

This is from the BBC version of The Apprentice. The team has to find a number of items in Marrakesh, including a kosher chicken...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCh3VDK_S9Y

The aftermath in the boardroom.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G256H_Q0bI