Movie Caption Contest #106: Tender Loving Care

[cooleddie74]

Deanna: "Oh, Will...yes...yes...AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

I love you...SO damn much it hurts.

 

[cooleddie74]

ANIJ:"It's alright, Captain. Don't feel embarrassed.

You're not the first snotty, bald Frenchman who's tried to do me doggy style by the lake."

DEANNA:"MR. CLEAN!!!!!

NO!!!!

But...but I cleaned out the replicator! It's spotless!!!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Troi: Oh Will, do me like an Orion slave girl!

Kirk: IIIIIIIII'M CAPTAIN KIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRK!

Troi: Okay, Captain Kirk do me like an Orion slave girl!

[ten seconds later]

Kirk: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!

Troi: That's it! Thirty seconds!

 

[Alrik]

Picard: "Don't get me wrong Anij, but if you press your boob into my chest any harder you're going to leave a nipple print."

Deanna: "Um...WRONG HOLE!"

 

[Alrik]

Deanna: "While shaving your beard in the tub was fun Will, this is just freaky."

 

[Alrik]

Deanna: "My lord, you're HUGE....and the Captain's clone...so that means I've been screwing the wrong bridge officer for all of these years."

 

[Candlelight]

Picard: "If this planet makes you younger, why do you look so old?"
Anij: "Hey, you shagged me."
Picard: "Yeah but I would shag anything. Even Crusher. She's basically a skeleton in a red wig but we love her."

"I noticed your first officer was getting friendly with your councilor"
"Yes, I'm very happy for them"
"So you let him leave in your starship while she remains on a youth-enducing planet with a horny Klingon she used to shag?"
"Er... I'll be right back"

 

[Alrik]

Decker: "And the lighted thingy on your throat? A communications device?"

Ilea: "Depth gauge."

 

[Rat Boy]

A split second later, Decker's head was located on deck fifteen.

 

[Candlelight]

Ilia: "My mind... to your mind"
Decker: "Hell, how about my ugly into your ugly?"
Ilia: "Kirk-unit?"

 

[Candlelight]

"You're only as old as the woman you feel"
"I'm 300 years old"
"And I just lost bladder control"

Decker: "That is some head..."
Ilia: "What?"
Decker: "I said er... you give good head"
Ilia: "Fail"

 

[Shatmandu]

Decker: "Ilia, right? No hair on your head, but your beaver looks like a black catcher's mitt."
Ilia, near tears: "You remembered ..."

 

[Candlelight]

"He hasn't been the same since his keyboard broke"

 

[The Cutest of Borg]

Deanna: "What do you mean, 'It broke'???"

 

[Nerys Myk]

DECKER: I found your cat.

ILIA: How did you know it was mine?

 

[Candlelight]

This competition will be won by whoever puts the best cat on Decker's shoulders.

 

[Shatmandu]

This competition will be won by whoever puts the best cat on Decker's shoulders.

Nerys Myk's pussy is nicer than yours.

Joe, judge

 

[Shatmandu]

Decker: "I call him 'Foreskin' to remind me of the one you ripped off."
Ilia: "Can I touch your Foreskin?"
Kirk, walking by: "Hey now ..."

 

[Triskelion]

Decker: You look...different somehow. New hairstyle?

 

[LeadHead]

Troi had hooked up with many strange men during TNG, but she knew she had hit bottom when she was in bed with Doctor Evil.