My last breakup, I got over by listening to a lot of sad songs - they really do say so much... It was a lot better method than how I dealt with the breakup before that: my (at the time) full liquor cabinet. 
Best way to get over first breakup?
- Thread starter Star Treks
- Start date
I haven't a clue. I guess for me the answer for my first was time and increasing my social sphere to basically compensate for the loss. A fairly long time before I started feeling right again. The only advice I can give to you is the old cliche plenty of fish in the sea. Because quite honestly, that helped me a heck of a lot when I realized the truth to that.
As much as it pains me to say it, Wally is completely correct.
I feel intrusive posting here since I just joined, but I can totally relate to that. My first long-term relationship ended two and a half years ago and I've been single since, because I have yet to find someone I am that comfortable with or connect that well with. So I can't give any advice on that part. But I can say from experience that the best thing to do is look forward. You'll be tempted - and she'll be tempted - to try and get back together, but don't do it. Relationships end for a reason and it's rare that something good comes out of a second try. You don't have to "move on to the next girl" if you're not ready yet. Just be single and live your life, and someone else will come along... at least that's what I'm told.
Don't feel intrusive! You can get a feel for the forum by reading, but sometimes it's nice to have new posters just jump right in and post. Plus you gave some good advice. Nice to meet you.
^Yeah welcome to the madness, jump right in! 
When I got unceremoniously dumped someone suggested lots and lots of alcohol. Seeing as I've got alcoholism in my family that wasn't an option for me.
What ultimately did it was time and actually friending her on Facebook recently. Now hang on, wait for it: it allowed to go trough her photos and make me see how unbelievable lucky I was that I got out. Because I'd never realized before that she was such white trash! I would not have been happy in that relationship in the long term.
In the end I'd say that it ended for a reason. Yes it is hard to move on. Yes it fucking hurts like she'd be stomping on your heart with those spikey soccer shoes. But it will pass. Listen to sad songs and eat ice cream and cry for a bit. Then start getting yourself up after a while.
When I got unceremoniously dumped someone suggested lots and lots of alcohol. Seeing as I've got alcoholism in my family that wasn't an option for me.
What ultimately did it was time and actually friending her on Facebook recently. Now hang on, wait for it: it allowed to go trough her photos and make me see how unbelievable lucky I was that I got out. Because I'd never realized before that she was such white trash! I would not have been happy in that relationship in the long term.
In the end I'd say that it ended for a reason. Yes it is hard to move on. Yes it fucking hurts like she'd be stomping on your heart with those spikey soccer shoes. But it will pass. Listen to sad songs and eat ice cream and cry for a bit. Then start getting yourself up after a while.
I always throw in an episode of my favorite TV show or a great movie when I'm depressed.
^Yeah welcome to the madness, jump right in!
When I got unceremoniously dumped someone suggested lots and lots of alcohol. Seeing as I've got alcoholism in my family that wasn't an option for me.
What ultimately did it was time and actually friending her on Facebook recently. Now hang on, wait for it: it allowed to go trough her photos and make me see how unbelievable lucky I was that I got out. Because I'd never realized before that she was such white trash! I would not have been happy in that relationship in the long term..
Same thing happened to me!! I got out and then realized how lucky I was. That didn't make it too much easier to get through the pain... but it was all for the best and it made it easier to see that.
And yes, I also like to throw in my favorite tv show. Preferably on DVD so I can watch a marathon of it and drown my sorrows in food.
I don't think there is any one answer to this question.
For example, I was with someone for 3 years and cared a lot about them. When we broke up I got over it in a matter of weeks.
Fast forward, and I'm with someone else for about a year. Two and a half years later, I still don't feel that I'm completely over them.
I've tried going straight out after a break up and having some meaningless sex. Didn't really make me feel any better. I've heard that works for some though.
It is incredibly cliche, but really all you can do is give it time.
I do agree with those who say that you should definitely distance yourself from this person. It's nice to "stay friends" but in my experience it rarely works out. Friends talk about all kinds of things, and often discuss their relationships. Are you ready for that? Do you wish to hear this person talk about their new love interest?
Maybe once some time has gone by and you've healed a bit friendship can be a reality. But in the short term it will probably just bring you a lot of pain.
For example, I was with someone for 3 years and cared a lot about them. When we broke up I got over it in a matter of weeks.
Fast forward, and I'm with someone else for about a year. Two and a half years later, I still don't feel that I'm completely over them.
I've tried going straight out after a break up and having some meaningless sex. Didn't really make me feel any better. I've heard that works for some though.
It is incredibly cliche, but really all you can do is give it time.
I do agree with those who say that you should definitely distance yourself from this person. It's nice to "stay friends" but in my experience it rarely works out. Friends talk about all kinds of things, and often discuss their relationships. Are you ready for that? Do you wish to hear this person talk about their new love interest?
Maybe once some time has gone by and you've healed a bit friendship can be a reality. But in the short term it will probably just bring you a lot of pain.
Write down every single thing you can remember about the relationship, from where you were emotionally before you met her to how it feels now that it's over.
Everything. If you're not big on writing, dictate it into some sort of a recording device. Day One to now.
It'll accomplish two things: you'll have something physical to remember the relationship by in the future, and you'll eventually get tired of thinking about it as you go.
Joe, writer
Again thanks everyone for their thoughts and advice. I would name everyone individually but there've been so many good responses.
It means a lot that you would share your own stories and experiences and insights with me, a person you barely know.
It means a lot that you would share your own stories and experiences and insights with me, a person you barely know.
People around here can be really nice on occasion!
Also I'm glad it has helped you, even if only a small amount. A breakup is difficult to get through and anything that helps is a good thing.
Post more around the forums so we can get to know you better!
Pain is universal, bud. If someone tells you they've never been hurt, you don't have to sniff to know they're full of shit.
Joe, here
Ha! Excellent phrasing. And very true.
Yes I agree with you...maybe I didn't say it right in my post...but anybody who doesn't cry and that includes men...there is something wrong with them. When a guy tells me he doesn't cry...that's a little red flag for me. Not a semifore flag...but a little pixie flag.
I may have spelled semifore wrong.
1. Don't be friends.
2. Hang out with friends.
3. Look for another girl.
2. Hang out with friends.
3. Look for another girl.
I cry, don't worry about that. Heck, I cried during a POKÉMON movie. How's THAT for crying?
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