TOS Caption Contest #138: Intentions, Good and Bad

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

Much fun last round. I really had a difficult time judging things.

The winners, including two first-timers, be these:

HEY! My feathers are UP HERE!

"SPAGETT !!!!!"

So..THIS is what you do with those extra hours you quote me for repairs? ENEMAS??

And I couldn't decide between the next two, so they both won:

Uhura (hardly audible over everything powering down): "I'm going to have to remind Rand and Chapel not to use their vibrators at the same time."

UHURA: Isn't some one suppose to swerve out of the way in chicke.....

Unscientific explosion noise in space

Very funny stuff. Congratulations to the big winners!

This week's bits are:

And a last one ripe for the 'shopping:

Joe, ripe for the napping




TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138 (2x)
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alrik
Alyssa (3x)
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
Cakes488
CaptainJon
captain crow
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (23x)

*********** Big Winner! ****************
cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Diesel Micky Dolenz (12x)
Dohlman
DrBob (11x)
DS9Sega (7x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gary7 (2x)
Gertch (25x)

goldbug (3x) *********** Big Winner! ****************
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
highlander (12x)
Isis (FIRST TIME! WOO-HOO!) ********* Big Winner! **********
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
Jeri (FIRST TIME! WOO-HOO!) ********* Big Winner! **********
Johnnyracefan
John_Picard (4x)
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (7x)
Mistral (2x)
Mojochi
M'Sharak (14x)
NCC-1701 (7x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (31x)

*********** Big Winner! ****************
Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (16x)

Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (41!x)

Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (20x)

Sector 7
Shatmandu (25x)

shivkala
Sir Rhosis (2x)
S'Kai
Super Grover
Tan Ru
T'Bonz (8x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (4x)
TheGallifreyanSith
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (18x)

The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (11x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2x)
Tim M (3x)
Toban Kal
Triskelion (14x)

Tristan
Turbo (2x)
UssGlenn
vassa
Ward Fowler (4x)
Woulfe (4x)
Zachery Smith

Mudd Club[/QUOTE]

 

[Shatmandu]

Even in the future, Contractors are disliked.

Leslie: "If he calls me 'Mr. Sulu' again, I'll bash his fucking brains in."

Kirk: "So, taking a woman to see 'Deep Throat' isn't fashionable yet?"

Kirk: "Anything else on?"
Spock: "Captain, please, as I was saying ..."

 

[Shatmandu]

 

[scottydog]

Bubbles about to be blown in his face, Spock would need those extra eyelids.

Even Ensign Sourdough was aghast at the ugliness of his reflection.

Kirk: "No lie. After the botched circumcision, Floyd devoted his life to using scissors."

Having heard one too many of her speeches, the Men of the Soup Kitchen got their revenge.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Yellow shirt: "Hmmm. These just aint been the same since they lost the peanut butter flavour. I mean, coffee? Who likes coffee-flavour? Ruddy disgrace, if you ask me".

Red shirt: "There's a Romulan warship on viewer".

"I met this big green fellow earlier. Spiky head, big silver eyes. Says that, ever since your shirt ripped, he can't stop thinking about you. Do I have competition?"

Kirk: *is satisfied*.

GORN IN CROSS-TEMPORAL LOVE TRIANGLE SUSPECTED

Futuristic reptile held for questioning.

 

[Shatmandu]

On Deneva, they thread their needles with your skull.

Ensign McCheese: "Captain, can we swing by Whattaburger?"

Keeler: "I paid your friend to let me watch him pee."

Kirk: "Does it say she died while fucking? That would be awesome.""

 

[Triskelion]

The Teletuby Gang didn't appreciate people on their turf doing the catwalk.

Hey...these are candy and they come right off!

No Miss Crump I don't know why Opie sassed you in school. Don't you make no never mind, I'll send him off to Viet Nam.

 

[Rat Boy]

Guy: "Aw, crap, he's a Vulcan. I need two of these, then."

Eddie Paskey: "How come we never get asked to do stock footage of us turning around?"

Edith suddenly realizes why Kirk didn't need to go to the barber shop.

Spock: "Jim, Edith Keeler must die."

Kirk: "Hey, look, there's a sale at Macy's!"

 

[Shatmandu]

 

[Triskelion]

 

[Triskelion]

 

[scottydog]

The men's room symbol removed from the door, what would Spock do?

"Mmmmm. Sulu has sesame seeds on his buns, too!"

Kirk: "Whose mouth shifted the population?"

 

[Triskelion]

Kirk: I feel like Michael Jackson!

 

[Captain Crow]

Jumpsuited Guy: You can't have the key to the city, it's mine!

Jumpsuited Guy: Mr. Vulcan, can you get me some more bubble solution for my bubble wand? I've ran out.

Leslie: I'm not to drunk to drive (HIC)!

[presses button and the lights go out]

Leslie: I wish Sulu wouldn't get his body glitter all over the helm controls.

Leslie: Oh great, now we have to sit here for a week and stare at the viewer like Uhura, Sulu, and Kirk did last caption contest.

Kirk: Hey look over there it's Sheriff Taylor, Deputy Fife, and that old bag Aunt Bee.

 

[cooleddie74]

On Soviet Deneva, wrench used on YOU.

LESLIE:"Looks we got the Frumpy Shift tonight. Quick, make your shirt sag a little lower."

EDITH:"So...ever do opium in a speakeasy before?"

KIRK:"Dammit.

More reruns. I hate the Microfiche Channel."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

On his last visit to Earth, Spock regretted visiting Oakland after a Raiders game.

Leslie: You know, Bob, velour isn't your friend.


And a two-fer:

Keeler: I'm pregnant, Jim.

Later...

Spock: Jim, Edith Keeler must die.
Kirk: Whelp, that takes care of that little "problem."

 

[Captain Crow]

 

[Wingsley]

Oh, lordy...

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Edith: Shave and a haircut?
Kirk: Sure. I do love a nicely trimmed beaver, and yours sure is bushy.

 

[Shatmandu]

JJ Abrams next Trek film will feature a reworking of a TOS classic: