TOS Caption Contest #137: The Red Hour

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

Had a tough time judging this week, there were so many great ones.

The best of the best were:

Kirk: Which one of your nipple knobs changes the channel on the TV?

Spock: "Now watch as I make this table levitate."

McGivers: "And then Marlena and Tonya invited us over to watch Grey's Anatomy. Wanna come?"
Khan: "I grow fatigued again."

Yeoman Rand stayed at the post...when the trainees ran.

Kirk: I wonder what he's dreaming of?
McCoy: Probably algorithms.

Again, it was tough to judge, but these are the ones that tickled my pickle the most.

This week's shots are:

And an extra difficult bonus bit:

Have at it.

Joe, asleep


TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138 (2x)
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alrik
Alyssa (3x)
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
Cakes488
CaptainJon
captain crow *********** Big Winner! ****************
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (22x)

cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Diesel Micky Dolenz (12x)
Dohlman
DrBob (11x)
DS9Sega (7x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gary7 (2x)
Gertch (25x)

goldbug (2x)
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
highlander (12x)
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
Johnnyracefan
John_Picard (4x)
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (7x)
Mistral (2x)
Mojochi
M'Sharak (14x)
NCC-1701 (7x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (30x)

Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (16x)

Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (41!x)

*********** Big Winner! ****************
Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (20x)

Sector 7
Shatmandu (25x)

shivkala
Sir Rhosis (2x)
S'Kai
Super Grover
Tan Ru
T'Bonz (8x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (4x)
TheGallifreyanSith *********** Big Winner! ****************
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (18x)

The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (11x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2x)
Tim M (3x)
Toban Kal
Triskelion (14x)

*********** Big Winner! ****************
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
UssGlenn *********** Big Winner! ****************
vassa
Ward Fowler (4x)
Woulfe (4x)
Zachery Smith

Mudd Club

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "They found hundreds of potato chip bags under his mattress ..."

Kirk: "Opinions?"
Uhura: "Captain, these mo-fos is crazy."

Scotty: "This won't hurt a bit, lass. And I'm not just sayin' that. It's very small."

McCoy: "ROCK AND ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

You get his wallet and I'll take his keys

Driving Mr Jimmy

SCOTTY: Tis an old Scottish custom, for the bride ta be broken in before the wedding.

ANGELA: Maybe we should do it again, just to be sure.

Focus, De! Focus!

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Dibs on his stereo. It's killer-diller."

Uhura: "Looks like a punk-bitch to me, Captain."

Scotty, whispering: "Your fiance is gay, by the way."

 

[Jeri]

Ok, Lucy, maybe we can get his blanket and wash it now.

Yeah...I dunno. This doesn't look like Woodfield Mall to me...

HEY! My feathers are UP HERE!

Did the craft guys bug out?!? Are there any sandwiches left?!? I was stuck in the basement with the Caretaker! Ok, ok -- with the show girls!

 

[Nero's Shadow]

Scotty call yourself a engineer i ordered him not 2 put a fork in the toaster replicater !!!!

Kirk thinking uhura,s booty looks even better from nav chair One day she Will tell me her first name .

And after the wedding lassy i,ll fix that toaster replicater for you !!

AHHH the lens flare monster !!!!!!!!!

 

[SciFi75]

Kirk: He stayed at his post...while the other trainees ran.

McCoy: Uh...Jim...

 

[SciFi75]

McCoy: Sulu, no!!!

 

[SciFi75]

Angela: Thanks for showing me the haggis, Mister Scott.

Scott: Anytime, Lassy, and I have plenty more for seconds.

 

[SciFi75]

Uhura: Why is there a camera underneath this work station?

Sulu: I know nothing.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Kirk: "Scotty next time leave the Threesomes with the Orion Slave girls to me"

Kirk: "Lt..."
Uhura: "Sorry, Captain, I don't know how that Extenze transmission got on screen ."
Sulu (snickering)

Scotty: "Come along lass, I thin your puppy went
intae this a room over here ."

Or
Scotty: ""Aye Lassie do ye have any Scottish in you?"
Angela: (giggling) "No"
Scotty: ""You want some?"

McCoy: " ♪♫ Its a Saturday night special
Got a barrel thats blue and cold
Aint no good for nothin
But put a man six feet in a hole....♪♫ "

 

[Captain Crow]

Thanks for choosing me as one of the winners Shatmandu. Though I do feel a little odd that I'm one of the ones that "tickled your pickle". I'm not into Gherkin jerkin'.

Kirk: See how easy it was to get you from Engineering to Sickbay.

Porn movie night on the Enterprise.

Kirk: And this is when I went to the caves on planet Hoth and met Scotty with his "friend" who looked like a pile of shit. Next slide please.

Scotty: There's something fowl about you.

[zipper sound]
McCoy: YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Death by erotic asphyxiation... if only I can go out with as much dignity.

Kirk: Set course for KFC, Miss Uhura.
Uhura (under her breath): I'm so gonna kick this cracker's fat ass.

Scotty: Feelin' less nervous, lassie?
Martine: Yes, thank you, Mr. Scott. That quick poke in the ass you gave me sure loosened me up.
Scotty: Twas my pleasure, lassie. Twas my pleasure.

Sulu put an end to Doctor McCoy's latest rant on the dangers of space travel by putting a bullet in the good doctor's ass.

 

[Rat Boy]

Angela: "Does this uniform make me look fat?"

Scotty: "Well, I..."

*Thirty minutes later...*

Kirk: "Idiot! You're supposed to lie when a woman asks if something makes her look fat!"

Spock (off screen): "The Klingon warship has been destroyed, Captain."

Uhura: "Yeeeeeeeeah. That's how we roll in my neighborhood, bitch!"

Presenting long lost footage of DeForest Kelley's cover of Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train."

 

[milo bloom]

Kirk: "Wait a sec...his shirt is red and he's hurt... I think I'm starting to see a pattern here..."

Yeah...I dunno. This doesn't look like Woodfield Mall to me...

You're right, it's just Stratford. Forget it, lets go over to the Disc Replay see if they have used copies of the 2 disc DVDs of Nemesis and Insurrection. I'll be damned if I pay full price for those stinkers.

Scott, thinking: "Aye, she's a nice girl but a bit of a trollop. I bet if her new husband keeled over tomorrow she'd be in another fella's arms before the body was cold."

Each subsequent download became more and more painful.

 

[Captain Crow]

Kelley, crying: FORGIVE ME FOR DOING "NIGHT OF THE LEPUS"! I NEEDED THE MONEY!

 

[SilentP]

Scotty: "Well, I certainly enjoyed tha' performance, lil' lass, but next time we're using the frakenfuter before we apply the vaseline and mayo."

Angela: *thinking* The things I do to get a promotion...

Kirk: *rummaging inside Scotty's corpse*: My God, it's like a pinata filled with haggis...

Kirk: Uhura, those aliens seem to be very angry. What did you say to them?

Uhura: "Yeah, ummmmm, I don't think I should....errr...I think I left the lights on back in my quarters *runs out of the Bridge at Ludicrous Speed*

The final image of DeKelly before falling into the Studio Black Hole

 

[UssGlenn]

A win! Thank you!

Scotty: "Lass, are ye sure ye don't want to wait until you've stopped molting before ye get married?"

Kirk: "And I thought he smelled bad on the outside!"

Kirk: "Damn those Halogen running lights, they out to be banned"

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "Ah, welcome to the nightly Engineering gangbang, lass. Step right in and gets your shots."

Chapel: "He'll live. No idea where his finger went, though."

Uhura: "So he's dead? Why would it matter when they've got B-4 back on the ship? That's bad storytelling."

 

[TigerOfDarkness]

Checkov: I suppose I should expect to be photoshopped into Uhura, it is a caption contest afterall...