Thespeckledkiwi
Vice Admiral
But it is used a lot in our vocabulary. It's the down step from that's gay.
I see, gawd, you're such a fag...a lot of times.
I find that offensive and yet...it's said more frequently than other...racial terms.
I wonder how homosexuals feel about...
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But it is used a lot in our vocabulary. It's the down step from that's gay.
I see, gawd, you're such a fag...a lot of times.
I find that offensive and yet...it's said more frequently than other...racial terms.
See, my gay friends use the term "fag" all the time, too, usually to make fun of other gay guys that are REALLY flaming.
Then again, my friends and co-workers also throw around the word "cunt" all the time (men and women alike), so maybe I just hang out with a special group of people.
Then again, my friends and co-workers also throw around the word "cunt" all the time (men and women alike), so maybe I just hang out with a special group of people.
Going back to checking out other people, I think the most obvious characteristics (in terms of physical appearance) that catch everyone's attention are the facial features and the overall body shape. Of course, both sexes tend to notice other features, too, like the nether regions, the chest, the buttocks, but those are almost secondary. In fact, I find it odd that some people primarily look at someone's crotch.
So maybe we should be more sensitive about using the word gay. If we can stop using the N word out of respect for black people...I think we can do that with Gay too...Oopps I mean the G word....
I've got a gay nigger on the phone who's very much against the banishment of the N word. Or the G word. Seriously.
Can we dial back the use of the slurs, please? I know that you guys aren't using them in the pejorative sense, but still be aware of other people and how they might feel about it.
This isn't directed at anyone in particular, just a general request.
This isn't directed at anyone in particular, just a general request.
I think the overuse of the word "gay" is obviously a slam towards gays borne in most cases from repressed homophobia. It's like from my parents generation where it was socially acceptable to make jokes about minorities. People from that generation (at least, in southern Ohio, where I'm from originally) would make these kind of jokes and not think themselves at all racist.
I'm not saying people are using it in a deliberately mean or malicious way, but if you find yourself using this word a lot, maybe you are just a wee bit homophobic and don't realize it. At any rate, it makes you SOUND like a homophobe.
I'm not saying people are using it in a deliberately mean or malicious way, but if you find yourself using this word a lot, maybe you are just a wee bit homophobic and don't realize it. At any rate, it makes you SOUND like a homophobe.
No problem. For my part, I'll try.
Nerys Ghemor said:
Too true. It is a shame more people don't understand that.
Why would I be offended by the use of 'gay' or 'homosexual' when it is used correctly? If it's used as a slur or as a part of some juvenile expression I would expect any decent person to object.
Don't confuse the issue. I hate political correctness gone mad, but this isn't about being more politically correct. It's about respect.
You are saying it's okay to use an identifiable group of people as an insult. I doubt you are naive enough to think people just started using the term gay in this manner by chance. People who viewed homosexuals negatively took their name and associated it with everything else they didn't like.
Not everyone who says 'That's so gay' means offense to homosexuals, but that doesn't make it okay. As I said before, it just reinforces those negative ideas those people originally had.
So tell me, is showing respect to this group of people too much to ask?
I've heard fag used as a joke, and never had a problem with it (though it was usually in the context of one gay to another). I was called a fag once by a stranger, late at night, walking down a city street. Few things have ever gotten my heart rate up so quickly, and I was really surprised how it affected me. How scared I was at that moment.
I guess, as with everything, intent is important here. If gay continues to be used this way eventually this usage will become divorced from its origins relating to homosexuality. And that's fine by me.
Insterestingly enough, I heard a PSA on the radio the other day about the use of 'that's so gay!' It's certainly never bothered me enough to worry about it to that degree.
I have to say, I never knew the origins of Indian giver until looking it up after reading your post. I always thought it dealt with the way whites gave land to natives only to later take that land push them to ever more umdesirable spots. So, thanks for making me learn something.
You know, I thought EXACTLY the same thing about "Indian giver" until I had to go look it up! I had thought it was white people who were the butt of that one.
And yeah, those aren't very nice at all, once you know how they really came about.
I once used "jew" as a verb right in front of a Jewish person.
It was at my university gaming club. We were in the office, playing the board game Junta, when another player did something really clever and underhanded. I laughed and, complimented him on jewing the other player.
About a second later, I remembered that the player sitting next to me--Ari--was Jewish.
He didn't say anything. Nobody said anything. I think they all knew that I wasn't a hateful person--just thoughtless. I was too mortified even to apologize.
That was twenty years ago. I've never forgotten that, and I've never used that expression since.
It was at my university gaming club. We were in the office, playing the board game Junta, when another player did something really clever and underhanded. I laughed and, complimented him on jewing the other player.
About a second later, I remembered that the player sitting next to me--Ari--was Jewish.
He didn't say anything. Nobody said anything. I think they all knew that I wasn't a hateful person--just thoughtless. I was too mortified even to apologize.
That was twenty years ago. I've never forgotten that, and I've never used that expression since.
My two very good friends and I had lunch yesterday at this nice restaurant. They're both Caucasian (a lady in her 60s and a man in his 70s), and we were talking about how some Asian co-workers planned on retiring abroad someday in their countries of origin. So "Tom" commented on how "these Asians are always wanting to go back to their countries," on vacation or in retirement. There were two Asian ladies sitting at the table next to us, but Tom wasn't aware of this, and they must've overheard him because they gave a quick glance. Granted, there was nothing offensive about what Tom said; besides he and "Madge" are the most open-minded liberal whites I know of. But still, you can't help thinking how some people may be sensitive in terms of how they're being described. It reminded of this thread.
Let me clarify my position. I think the phrase is not homophobic and is used as an expression of contempt or frustration. I have never used it myself but can understand why certain people with a crude demeanor might use it. It's no more different from swearing, and that's a reflection on the speaker, not the person spoken of.
Let me clarify my position. I think the phrase is not homophobic and is used as an expression of contempt or frustration. I have never used it myself but can understand why certain people with a crude demeanor might use it. It's no more different from swearing, and that's a reflection on the speaker, not the person spoken of.
Well, while I know it's ultimately semantics, I think phrases such as "these [demographic group here]" are usually a poor choice.
I was once talking to my mom about a guy named Bob who was a barely-known acquaintance of mine but a friend of other people, and I'd slipped into referring to him as, "that Bob person" just because I didn't know him or feel close to him. Of course, even so that's kind of a weird way to refer to him, and my mom called me on it and asked why I was referring to him that way. I replied that I thought I was trying to distance myself from him, as though saying "Bob" makes it inherently sound like I know him better than if I call him, "that Bob person". And I acknowledge the latter inherently sounds a bit denigrating as it suggests I also don't _want_ to know him.
I was once talking to my mom about a guy named Bob who was a barely-known acquaintance of mine but a friend of other people, and I'd slipped into referring to him as, "that Bob person" just because I didn't know him or feel close to him. Of course, even so that's kind of a weird way to refer to him, and my mom called me on it and asked why I was referring to him that way. I replied that I thought I was trying to distance myself from him, as though saying "Bob" makes it inherently sound like I know him better than if I call him, "that Bob person". And I acknowledge the latter inherently sounds a bit denigrating as it suggests I also don't _want_ to know him.
I would never use the word "Gay" in a derogatory way, because it's obviously derived from the slander of homosexuals, whether that's the intent of everybody who uses it or not. It doesn't matter that some Gays use the expression. I know plenty of women who call people "pussies" to mean they are weak and I know plenty of men who call people "dicks" to mean they are idiots. This may come as a shock, but most people are their own worst enemies.
The bottom line is-- as has been demonstrated here quite graphically of late-- that a majority of the population has a deep-seated discomfort with all things sexual.
The bottom line is-- as has been demonstrated here quite graphically of late-- that a majority of the population has a deep-seated discomfort with all things sexual.
Why don't we just make this a G-rated board and talk about Disney movies?
It seems to be going that way anyway ...
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