Love triangle help

[Da'an]

Being the designated shoulder-to-cry-on in my circle of friends, I've been asked for advice, but I haven't even got the faintest idea where to begin to start, so I'm wondering if some of the more world-wise people can offer any pearls of wisdom?

Three people: R, S & T.

T & R share a house together, they're flatmates and friends.

T & S have been dating on-and-off for several months now, so they're pretty much a couple.

T has strong feelings for R, but R isn't aware of this but he isn't interested in T anyway. T likes S a lot, but she isn't in love with him.

T says that her feelings for R are putting a strain on their friendship, and being housemates, she doesn't want him to know because it may make things even more awkward.

Other than listening to T, I've no idea how to help her get through this/get over R and also not mess things up with S.

*sigh* If only life was a romantic comedy, things would be so much simpler...

 

[jamestyler]

The solution is simple. Threesome.

T's feelings for R will be clear but with S around her affections will be focused on him while still having a good time for T and possibly begin to feel something.

Besides R and T would share a bond which could bring them closer and as theres no love with T the fun could carry on and everyones happy.

 

[Shazam!]

T should dump S, and ask R out. None of this fannying about, just cut right to the chase.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

This may sound selfish but...why is it up to you to sort out these people's issues? Go out and get involved in your *own* love triangle!

 

[DiSiLLUSiON]

T should dump S, and ask R out. None of this fannying about, just cut right to the chase.

Seconded.

 

[Pingfah]

T needs to grow up and stop fucking about with one guy when she wants a different one. She's doing no favours to any of them including herself.

T also needs to deal with her own self inflicted problems, or not create them in the first place.

 

[Alidar Jarok]

Honestly, dating a roommate is a bad idea, imo.

 

[Luckyflux]

She should stay with S, and stopping eyeing R. R is not into her anyway. But if she cannot do that, then leave S. S shouldn't be with a woman that has wandering eyes.

What happens if T and R are drinking one night (either together at the flat or out separately and get home at the same time) and one thing leads to another....has something like this ever come up? Could be trouble with booze involved.

 

[OrionSlaveGirl]

I agree that dating roomates is a risky thing unless it's really serious on both sides. This situation sounds very complicated and someone is bound to get hurt. T shouldn't be with S if she can't see it going anywhere (life is too short to waste time!). If there's really no chance with R then T should consider finding another place to live so she doesn't have to battle her feelings everyday, and just stay friends.

 

[nevermore]

T should not be with either of them, or anyone for that matter until she grows the fuck up and has something to offer other than the selfish fulfillment of her own needs. She's probably only interested in R because he's not interested in her, which smacks of immaturity. And she's only hanging onto S for security and self-affirmation, which is equally immature and selfish. She's bad for everyone, and someone innocent will get hurt because of it.

 

[Holdfast]

If only life was a romantic comedy, things would be so much simpler...

If life was a romantic comedy, they'd have better names than R, S & T.

 

[Lindley]

Yeah. Like Q.

 

[Finn]

I agree with FlamingLiberal. T should just move on and stay friends with R and S, and just date Q.

 

[Lindley]

'Cause who doesn't love checking out the gamma quadrant?

 

[Chekov's Phaser]

T should not be with either of them, or anyone for that matter until she grows the fuck up and has something to offer other than the selfish fulfillment of her own needs. She's probably only interested in R because he's not interested in her, which smacks of immaturity. And she's only hanging onto S for security and self-affirmation, which is equally immature and selfish. She's bad for everyone, and someone innocent will get hurt because of it.

This.

I'm wondering how old R, S, and T are. T needs to stop and figure out what the hell she wants. Stop the indecisive shit and just find someone else. It will be better for R and S. I've seen both men an women like this, and they usually never have their shit together. When she's a bit more mature then maybe she can find someone. There are always more fish in the sea...

This post brought to you by the letters A and J.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

So we've got R, S and T. What about L, N and E? Also, I'd like to buy a vowel.

 

[Holdfast]

So we've got R, S and T. What about L, N and E? Also, I'd like to buy a vowel.

You don't need another vowel, you just need E to cheat on one of them, and then everyone RELENTS.

(jokes AND anagrams. God, I'm good...)

 

[Tiberius Jim]

You guys don't get Wheel of Fortune over there, eh?

 

[Kommander]

My advice? Stay out of it. Interfering in the relationships of others, no matter how beneficent one's intentions, NEVER ends well for the one doing the interfering.

 

[Da'an]

The solution is simple. Threesome.

Somehow I don't see that ever happening.

I agree that dating roomates is a risky thing unless it's really serious on both sides. This situation sounds very complicated and someone is bound to get hurt. T shouldn't be with S if she can't see it going anywhere (life is too short to waste time!). If there's really no chance with R then T should consider finding another place to live so she doesn't have to battle her feelings everyday, and just stay friends.

You're right. I think T may be needy, she's insecure about her weight and generally doesn't date guys. She's a really nice girl and a good friend, but I wish she'd stop being so critical of herself.

T should not be with either of them, or anyone for that matter until she grows the fuck up and has something to offer other than the selfish fulfillment of her own needs. She's probably only interested in R because he's not interested in her, which smacks of immaturity. And she's only hanging onto S for security and self-affirmation, which is equally immature and selfish. She's bad for everyone, and someone innocent will get hurt because of it.

This.

I'm wondering how old R, S, and T are. T needs to stop and figure out what the hell she wants. Stop the indecisive shit and just find someone else. It will be better for R and S. I've seen both men an women like this, and they usually never have their shit together. When she's a bit more mature then maybe she can find someone. There are always more fish in the sea...

This post brought to you by the letters A and J.

Both T and S are about 30, and R is about 40. This could be an episode of Dawson's Creek.