CONFESSIONAL thread (ANONYMOUS so tell us the juicy stuff!)

[Australis]

Bob, if the chance comes, do it. We'd miss your contributions in the Who forum. We can't give wamdue a hard time by ourselves.

As to confession no 2 above, as Drone said, persuade him to go back to school. It seems to me he needs some kind of discipline in his life, and if he's getting schooled in something he is interewsted in, like this video stuff you young people keep talking about, it might be enough incentive to get him on track.

Oh, and if any women out there like me, you'll have to tell me (PM of course) because I'm too shy to ask, seriously. Decades after leaving school, I finally realised, taking the time to read between the lines, which I never did then, that there were at least two girls who would have been happy to help me get rid of that irritating virginity thing. To say I was clueless doesn't begin to describe the situation.

Or, as a friend of mine once put it about himself: "Honestly, a girl could be standing across the road with a sign reading 'I want to do you!' and I'd be thinking, 'What's she trying to say? No no, what's she really trying to say?!'"

 

[Bob The Skutter]

Bob if you don't get that transplant I'll have to kill someone and take it from them to give it to you. Would you want that?

Bob, if the chance comes, do it. We'd miss your contributions in the Who forum. We can't give wamdue a hard time by ourselves.

More good reasons to do it.

Thing is for as long as I can remember I've known I'm likely to die young, even if I do get a transplant. In fact I thought pretty much next year would probably be the oldest I would see, but with treatments they're coming up with who knows how long they can prolong it, so right now I'm of the mindset that I try to go as long as possible before taking the option of transplant, because the longer I go the more, and better, treatments are available. Obviously in the end I will have to choose to have one, but in the mean time medical science continues to evolve and give me hope of a lot longer than I ever thought.

 

[DiSiLLUSiON]

Get your friend to go see a doctor and go for ADHD testing.

My husband was recently diagnosed and is now on medication and it has turned his life around. Before he, like your friend, was great at starting projects, full of ideas, but couldn't finish anything and it made him so frustrated. But he couldn't work out why he didn't finish. Everyone says "just be more organised" but if you've got ADHD that's an alien concept, it really does not compute with your brain.

Now he's on the medication, he's focusing on his projects- he's recording his own music, he's doing DIY around the house (used to be he'd promise to do it but it would never get done) and he's focusing at work. It's also helping him socially in that his brain is now able to focus more on other people. It's odd the many ways ADHD impacts your behaviour.

A side-effect of the medicine is loss of appetite - so that's helping too

I have ADHD myself, and I quote that for truth.

But do be careful with any medication; I heard there are new medications out there but the old favorite, Ritalin, is complete and utter junk. And I say that in the nicest way possible; it makes you into a inspiration-less, impulse-less, drive-less zombie.

When I realized that, I stopped taking that crap. And although life is hard (some things really don't compute; not the mention the problems concentrating, the inability to finish a lot of projects due to loss of interest & new inspirational strikes and the continuous feeling near your spine that you have to do something -- like an addict has, only without any definable goal), it's a lot better when you've got your full faculties then when you're drugged up with that shit and experiencing life in shades of grey.

 

[trampledamage]

Get your friend to go see a doctor and go for ADHD testing.

My husband was recently diagnosed and is now on medication and it has turned his life around. Before he, like your friend, was great at starting projects, full of ideas, but couldn't finish anything and it made him so frustrated. But he couldn't work out why he didn't finish. Everyone says "just be more organised" but if you've got ADHD that's an alien concept, it really does not compute with your brain.

Now he's on the medication, he's focusing on his projects- he's recording his own music, he's doing DIY around the house (used to be he'd promise to do it but it would never get done) and he's focusing at work. It's also helping him socially in that his brain is now able to focus more on other people. It's odd the many ways ADHD impacts your behaviour.

A side-effect of the medicine is loss of appetite - so that's helping too

I have ADHD myself, and I quote that for truth.

But do be careful with any medication; I heard there are new medications out there but the old favorite, Ritalin, is complete and utter junk. And I say that in the nicest way possible; it makes you into a inspiration-less, impulse-less, drive-less zombie.

When I realized that, I stopped taking that crap. And although life is hard (some things really don't compute; not the mention the problems concentrating, the inability to finish a lot of projects due to loss of interest & new inspirational strikes and the continuous feeling near your spine that you have to do something -- like an addict has, only without any definable goal), it's a lot better when you've got your full faculties then when you're drugged up with that shit and experiencing life in shades of grey.

Medication is a lot better now. It doesn't take away the inspiration, just allows you to focus on one thing through to completion. I can say for certain, mr trampledamage is definitely not an inspiration-less zombie.

There are techniques you can learn to cope without medication. I'll go find the links but first of all - read Delivered from Distraction from Dr Ned Hallowell. It's amazing. And he's a doctor who has ADD, and the medication didn't work for him, so what he has achieved in his life he has done without medication.

For anyone who is coping with ADD or who thinks they may be - read the book. Dr Ned Hallowell is a wonderful writer, and what he says makes so much sense. I have some links to podcasts he has done - I'll go find them.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Bump. Anyone else?

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

I am the Lindbergh baby! Goo-goo ga-ga, i want my fly-fly dada!

 

[trampledamage]

You're looking good for a man of nearly eighty!

 

[Holdfast]

A fresh confession. And it's a good one:

This is tough for me to admit to myself. I held off for awhile on the confessional thread, but I felt like I needed to vent today.

Without making this too graphic: I'm surrounded by beautiful women and while I have a measure of self control, sometimes it eludes me...I've dated then married a woman for many years now. I had a whirlwind romance with her, fell in love after 2 weeks...and promptly cheated on her a few weeks after deciding we'd be together as a couple.

The other woman was a "friend with benefits" I had been seeing...best sex I've ever had...we'd do it in public, cars, anywhere.

Time passed, I was faithful for awhile, and then I was out of town with a friend. She was one of the nicest women I'd ever known, incredible body. I came to her room, we talked then cuddled and finally we touched naked and had oral sex. I didn't even feel guilty after this one, I seemed capable of blocking it out. I still talk to this woman but do not remain in close contact, its better for everyone.

Around this time I met a woman online...it started innocently enough, we lasted as friends for months and confided in each other but when we met later I realized it was a mistake. I fell in love with her. I kept the secret for a year...then my wife found out. She forgave me eventually but it was a tough time...little did she know that I was seeing yet another woman.

Again it started innocently, but she was so beautiful, with hazel eyes, long brunette hair and perfect tanned skin it was hard to keep away from her...she actually approached me, no she practically raped me. I saw her a quite a few times. I still have visions of her in the shower with me, she had a mirror we could look into opposite the shower.

However, by this time I started to feel more and more guilty. My relationship with my wife has never been quite the same after she found out about the one woman, how can it be? We're close to maybe 85% of where we were and she trusts me again.

Since the last woman I have been faithful, and plan on being so but occasionally there are still opportunities.....

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

I am in a strange position right now (not that kind of position).

In grade 6, I moved away so I had lost touch with all my old friends, including my best friend. Fast foward to last year. I got facebook and found a whole shitload of my friends from elementary school and added them, including him (my best friend), who was in Australia for school.

Anyways, we of course talk about life and what's new. The problem is, he grew up to be hot. I mean, I would have never guessed but yeah, he's pretty fine.

Now, as some of you know, I am married (common-law) and would never even dream of doing anything I am not suppose to because I despise cheaters so I know I am safe enough that I wont make any moves or anything, I will just look, so that isn't the problem. The problem is, he mentioned that he was going to be in town for about a month, starting at the end of July, and he asked if I had wanted to go with him to chat at Timmie's (Tim Horton's) and I never responded yet because it feels weird for me to go out with someone who's hot and isn't my husband and I know my husband certainly wouldn't approve. He'd probably say "I don't really care" if I had let him know I was going with this guy but I know he's jealous. He tells people off who stare at me so yeah, he wont like the idea of me going with someone who is a guy and this meeting would most likely take place during my husband's work hours because he is on afternoon shift so who knows what he would think is happening and I know he would bring it up in the future.

On the other hand, this guy was my best buddy so it would be nice to meet up as adults since we parted ways at the age of 12.

I know this sounds weird but for some reason, I just don't feel right about it. I know it would be an innocent thing but still, I can't explain why it feels odd to hang out with your attractive friend whom you wont do anything with but think is hot. I just don't find it right to think someone else you know is attractive when you are taken. Silly, I know, but it's how I feel. You can't help thinking someone is good looking but it feels like such a betrayal. I just want to make up some excuse that I am at my mom's for the summer (she lives in my homestate, I am in Canada) to escape it.

I WISH HE WERE UGLY RIGHT NOW.

 

[Kestra]

^ I've surprised myself a few times at what I've felt guilty for, since getting married. It's like my mindset changed and even if I wasn't planning on doing anything inappropriate, there's still that element of "is this okay?"

I've decided that if something feels wrong to me or makes me uncomfortable, I simply won't do it. There are a lot of lines that can be blurred and every couple is different, but my own instincts are usually a good guide.

 

[trampledamage]

Is there anyone you can take along with you?

It'll be less awkward for you to explain to your husband if it's "Joe from school, Tracy and me".

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

Nah, no one I can take along :/ It would help me but I think it would even be weird for him to meet someone he doesn't know and he probably wouldn't know what to talk about with them because the two of us would be too busy catching up and the third person would be pretty left out.


I don't know why it feels so weird to think something is wrong when it's just a meet up. I think I am afraid I might like him a hell of a lot more if I meet up him in person and that wouldn't be right.

Damn you attractive people. He used to be a chubby kid with a Yugoslavia background. What the hell happened? Plus, he dressed up as Captain Sparrow for Halloween and looked as good as Johnny Depp.

How dare he.

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

oops :/ Disregard this post, computer messed up.

 

[trampledamage]

Nah, no one I can take along :/ It would help me but I think it would even be weird for him to meet someone he doesn't know and he probably wouldn't know what to talk about with them because the two of us would be too busy catching up and the third person would be pretty left out.


I don't know why it feels so weird to think something is wrong when it's just a meet up. I think I am afraid I might like him a hell of a lot more if I meet up him in person and that wouldn't be right.

Damn you attractive people. He used to be a chubby kid with a Yugoslavia background. What the hell happened? Plus, he dressed up as Captain Sparrow for Halloween and looked as good as Johnny Depp.

How dare he.

I hear you. Even if you have no intention of doing anything about it - he's still an attractive man you're meeting for coffee!

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

When I first saw his picture on facebook, I knew I was in trouble, haha. I was thinking "damn....daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn...." and I probably would have ended up with him, had I not moved away, haha.

I still wouldn't give up my man for anyone, though.

 

[Kestra]

A fresh confession. And it's a good one:

This is tough for me to admit to myself. I held off for awhile on the confessional thread, but I felt like I needed to vent today.

Without making this too graphic: I'm surrounded by beautiful women and while I have a measure of self control, sometimes it eludes me...I've dated then married a woman for many years now. I had a whirlwind romance with her, fell in love after 2 weeks...and promptly cheated on her a few weeks after deciding we'd be together as a couple.

The other woman was a "friend with benefits" I had been seeing...best sex I've ever had...we'd do it in public, cars, anywhere.

Time passed, I was faithful for awhile, and then I was out of town with a friend. She was one of the nicest women I'd ever known, incredible body. I came to her room, we talked then cuddled and finally we touched naked and had oral sex. I didn't even feel guilty after this one, I seemed capable of blocking it out. I still talk to this woman but do not remain in close contact, its better for everyone.

Around this time I met a woman online...it started innocently enough, we lasted as friends for months and confided in each other but when we met later I realized it was a mistake. I fell in love with her. I kept the secret for a year...then my wife found out. She forgave me eventually but it was a tough time...little did she know that I was seeing yet another woman.

Again it started innocently, but she was so beautiful, with hazel eyes, long brunette hair and perfect tanned skin it was hard to keep away from her...she actually approached me, no she practically raped me. I saw her a quite a few times. I still have visions of her in the shower with me, she had a mirror we could look into opposite the shower.

However, by this time I started to feel more and more guilty. My relationship with my wife has never been quite the same after she found out about the one woman, how can it be? We're close to maybe 85% of where we were and she trusts me again.

Since the last woman I have been faithful, and plan on being so but occasionally there are still opportunities.....

I'm kinda horrified by this. You need to be honest with the woman that you're with (the one you're married to, that is). Being at 85% of where you were is meaningless if she doesn't know the truth. And think about how you're damaging her everytime you violate her trust. Everytime you have violated her trust.

Come clean and see where things go from there.

 

[Chekov's Phaser]

I know this sounds weird but for some reason, I just don't feel right about it. I know it would be an innocent thing but still, I can't explain why it feels odd to hang out with your attractive friend whom you wont do anything with but think is hot. I just don't find it right to think someone else you know is attractive when you are taken. Silly, I know, but it's how I feel. You can't help thinking someone is good looking but it feels like such a betrayal. I just want to make up some excuse that I am at my mom's for the summer (she lives in my homestate, I am in Canada) to escape it.

The problem (it seems to me) is you think thinking someone is attractive is tantamount to cheating, but I disagree. You can find some attractive even if you are with someone who is the love of your life. If you are not going to actually cheat, then there is nothing wrong with coffee.

However, it can seem somewhat awkward. Why can't you just hang out with you just bring your husband along sometime when he is not working?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Whoever has that problem with all the girls and sex ... I'd trade places with you in a heart beat.

And maybe, jsut maybe ... you got married too quickly; didn't have tiem to explore girls and life fully.

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

The problem (it seems to me) is you think thinking someone is attractive is tantamount to cheating, but I disagree. You can find some attractive even if you are with someone who is the love of your life. If you are not going to actually cheat, then there is nothing wrong with coffee.

However, it can seem somewhat awkward. Why can't you just hang out with you just bring your husband along sometime when he is not working?

Well, I don't really think it would be anything geared towards cheating, it just feels weird to be in a relationship and think someone else you know is attractive. It's different to think a celebrity is attractive but to think someone you have contact with his attractive, it just seems wrong for some reason. If my husband thought some girl was attractive, it would certainly bother me because I would be afraid he might end up liking her a lot more than anticipated and it would hurt me to know he has some feelings for someone else.

I think that is my main scare. Like I said, I wouldn't do anything with him but I don't want to end up liking his company more than I thought I would. It wouldn't feel like the right thing to do.

I'd bring my husband along but that would be another weird situation. No matter who I bring, that person will end up being bored because we'll be chatting away about what we have been doing over the years and that other person will just be the third wheel and be sitting there, probably dying to go home. My friend would also probably feel weird because the third person would be someone he doesn't know so he wouldn't know what to say to them and he would feel obliged to include them in the convo somehow and I know he would rather just meet up with me and chat about our lives instead of chatting with someone he just met because he probably wouldn't know what to say to them.

Confusing, I know, haha.

 

[Gary Mitchell]

I confess to being bummed out that to see that Kirk's_Tights is married.