Movie Caption Contest #96: Let's Pretend

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "Do you think Geordi could fashion Data with some sort of a vagina-like opening?"

Picard: "I don't know what Deanna sees in Worf. Maybe, in a past relationship, there was something lacking in the crotch-department."

 

[Santa Kang]

PICARD: I'll be below decks. Send the boy to my cabin.

 

[Shatmandu]

Mr. Nichols' first mistake: making his new office shower out of transparent aluminum.

 

[Shatmandu]

PICARD: I'll be below decks. Send the boy to my cabin.

Riker: "And the gimp?"
Picard: "No. Feel free."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

PICARD: I'll be below decks. Send the boy to my cabin.

Riker: Wesley, sir?
Picard: You know me so well, Number One.

 

[Shatmandu]

Riker, reading from the Suggestion Box: "'Dear Captain Pederast: Eat a bag of shit. You suck.'"
Picard: "Flay the men, Numbah One."

 

[Shatmandu]

Nichols: "Not now Madeline! I'm fellating the Scotsman."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Madeline: No, Dr. Nichols, I didn't see you playing with your action figures!

 

[BriGuy]

Scotty: So, as you can see with this sample, Dr. Nichols, it's inadvisable to use transparent aluminum for nudie booths. While it does offer an unobstructed view, cleaning the stains off is near impossible.

 

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "Do you think Geordi really likes me? I know he does what I order him to, but everyone has to do that. But do you think he really enjoys my company?"

<Big SPLASH sound>
Riker, rolling up scroll: "And with that, we have no Irishmen on board."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Riker (whispers): I..
Picard: I,
Riker: Master and commander of the good ship Enterprise
Picard: Master and commander of the good ship Enterprise
Riker: Do hereby order
Picard: Do hearby order
Riker: Is this an l or an I...?
Picard: Is this an l or...NUMBER ONE!

 

[SeerSGB]

Riker: Captain I know we're suppose to be able to command the ship from anywhere on the ship, even a PADD. But don't you think a holodeck recreation of a sailing ship is taking it a bit far?

Picard: Fuck you, I'm having fun.

 

[SantaEddie74]

NICHOLS:"That...that'll be all, Madeleine.

(*Sighs*)

That's the last damn time I make a bet with Mike over in shipping and receiving that one of my people can do the Bangles Egyptian dance."

 

[SantaEddie74]

PICARD:"Ahoy there! What do you see on the horizon, Will?"

RIKER:"My career going right down the shitter.

OH. You...you mean in here.

RIGHT."

 

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "Computer, I did not ask that this simulation of Commandah Rikah smell like feces and halitosis."
<Riker clears throat.>

 

[Alrik]

Picard: "Numbah One, have you noticed how your Moobs have started to firm up?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Picard: Mr. Riker, do you know what happened to my case of Jamaican rum?
Riker: <BURP!> What's that?

 

[Alrik]

Riker: "It looks like we go up Main Street USA and take a left into Adventureland, go past the Swiss Family Treehouse and Jungle Cruise, and Pirates of the Caribbean should be just up on the left."

Picard: "Very well. Make it so."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

"Is it just me, sir, or does that statue get ever so slightly closer each time we turn away briefly?"

"You're paranoid, ensign".

 

[SantaEddie74]

RIKER:"According to this placemat, we need to steer five degrees to our west in order to find where Long John Silver hid the stash of dubloons and Fish Sandwiches."