Happy Mother's Day, Bitch

[Miss Chicken]

But, at no point, have I advocated hitting this child. Yet you don't seem to want to enter into a debate with me about this child being the person most resonsible for his behaviour and that only he can change his attitude.

Having a hard life is no excuse for acting like a jerk. As soon as people start making excuses for his behaviour he will learn to play on that.

 

[Trilliam]

Stories like this piss me off.

. My mom is nice and only asked him for $50 a week for rent and he doesn't want to pay it. He has a job but has no money because he wastes it. My mom found a bill in which he spent $130 on friggin sunglasses but he can't go and buy her a card.


Growing up, my mom and I didn't get along very well but we are the best of friends now. Even if I were still angry with her, I would still pick up the phone and tell her happy mother's day. She has thyroid cancer and TB and has had some heart problems in the past and my brother can't even show any kind of respect.

He also has an anger problem and apparently threw a fork that just missed her when they got into an argument. It's a side of him I have never seen before. He's perfectly fine with me and our older brother and even with my dad but for some reason, he's nasty towards the person who raised him since he was 12.

It's disgusting.

She has to show him the door. Pack up his gear and have it on the verandah when he gets home from work!!! And change the locks.

 

[Trilliam]

But, at no point, have I advocated hitting this child. Yet you don't seem to want to enter into a debate with me about this child being the person most resonsible for his behaviour and that only he can change his attitude.

Having a hard life is no excuse for acting like a jerk. As soon as people start making excuses for his behaviour he will learn to play on that.

You misunderstood me entirely. Understanding WHY someone is/acts the way they are, gives insight into HOW encourage them to recognize their behaviour as unaccpeptable and to change their behaviour. It doesn't excuse it.

I was responding to the posts that took the "Belt the sh*te of him....that'll fix him" line. It won't. At his age it will just cause resentment and make him angier at the world and make the situation worse.

 

[John Picard]

But, at no point, have I advocated hitting this child. Yet you don't seem to want to enter into a debate with me about this child being the person most resonsible for his behaviour and that only he can change his attitude.

Having a hard life is no excuse for acting like a jerk. As soon as people start making excuses for his behaviour he will learn to play on that.

You misunderstood me entirely. Understanding WHY someone is/acts the way they are, gives insight into HOW encourage them to recognize their behavior as unacceptable and to change their behavior. It doesn't excuse it.

I was responding to the posts that took the "Belt the sh*te of him....that'll fix him". It won't. At his age it will just cause resentment and make him angrier at the world.

BINGO. Telling someone, "YOU DAMNED WELL BETTER RESPECT YOUR MOTHER" when she probably doesn't deserve it, is wrong. The stories I could tell you about my own mother and my ex-wife would leave most of you here speechless and puzzled. And no, neither was an alcoholic or drug user.

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

She has to show him the door. Pack up his gear and have it on the verandah when he gets home from work!!! And change the locks.

The problem with my mom is that she is too nice to him. Out of my brothers and I, he's the baby so she has always had a softer spot for him. I told her to change the locks and she already started with "oh, he'll have nowhere to go" and I told her so what, that's his problem, maybe he'll learn something if he knows she is serious. She just wont do it and he knows that no matter what she says, she'll always give in to him.

 

[Trilliam]

She has to show him the door. Pack up his gear and have it on the verandah when he gets home from work!!! And change the locks.

The problem with my mom is that she is too nice to him. Out of my brothers and I, he's the baby so she has always had a softer spot for him. I told her to change the locks and she already started with "oh, he'll have nowhere to go" and I told her so what, that's his problem, maybe he'll learn something if he knows she is serious. She just wont do it and he knows that no matter what she says, she'll always give in to him.

You and your other siblings are just going to have to keep working on your mother, for her own sake.

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

You and your other siblings are just going to have to keep working on your mother, for her own sake.

I've been trying for years but she wont break. 24 years of treating him like a baby. Guess it's hard to change but I saw this coming when I was a kid. She let him get away with way too much and was way to easy with him.

Sad :/

 

[Trilliam]

I was responding to the posts that took the "Belt the sh*te of him....that'll fix him". It won't. At his age it will just cause resentment and make him angrier at the world. BINGO. Telling someone, "YOU DAMNED WELL BETTER RESPECT YOUR MOTHER" when she probably doesn't deserve it, is wrong. The stories I could tell you about my own mother and my ex-wife would leave most of you here speechless and puzzled. And no, neither was an alcoholic or drug user.

This child in original post needs a mentor, someone to model and reinforce acceptable behaviour and pull the 13yo up when he does the wrong thing. Someone consistent, responsible and reliable.

 

[Trilliam]

You and your other siblings are just going to have to keep working on your mother, for her own sake.

I've been trying for years but she wont break. 24 years of treating him like a baby. Guess it's hard to change but I saw this coming when I was a kid. She let him get away with way too much and was way to easy with him.

Sad :/

Yeah, I've seen it happen many times too. You can see how it's going to end in tears.

 

[miraclefan]

1. This ''mother'' is unfit, I don't care if she just survived cancer, your not in therapy & chemo 24/7 during that time she should have tought her son SOME manners. 2. I can't imagine treating my mom or dad the way this little prik treats his mom. 3. If this kid dosen't shape up fast he's going to end up in alot of trouble with the police, probably go to jail and end up in a gang & maybe even getting killed. 4. The father is not around, where is he? 5. the woman is unemployed correct? I take it that means we the tax payer are paying her wellfare checks then, right?

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

But, at no point, have I advocated hitting this child. Yet you don't seem to want to enter into a debate with me about this child being the person most resonsible for his behaviour and that only he can change his attitude.

Having a hard life is no excuse for acting like a jerk. As soon as people start making excuses for his behaviour he will learn to play on that.

It really can depend on how one was raised.

I have two brothers. My younger brother, who is a year younger, and I have the same mom and dad. My older brother, who is 6 years older than I am, has a different mother. My older brother used to live with his mom and came over every two weeks to visit when we were kids.


When I was 13, my parents divorced. I chose to live with my dad and my younger brother chose to live with my mom. As you probably saw in my earlier post, my mom is very easy with him and he always got away with things. If he got in trouble for something, she'd tell him he wasn't allowed to go out with his friends. An hour later, he'd ask and she'd allow him to go. He basically lived off of no rules. He didn't have to pay rent, he could come and go as he pleased, she gave him money whenever he asked for it.


My dad was the total opposite. He kept his word and never let me get away with things. If I asked him for money, he would only give it to me if I paid him back, which I did. If he told me I couldn't do something, I didn't throw a tantrum. I grew up respecting people and being responsible and independant.

I pay my own way in life. I paid for my own college education while my mom paid for my brother's. I live in my own place and pay my own rent. He's a 24 year old adult living off of her.

I don't mean to downsize my mom in any way but his attitude is because of how he grew up. My older brother and I don't act like him at all. We both pay our own way and don't live at home. My younger brother knows he can stick around with my mom because she would never kick him out. He knows he can do what he wants and nothing will happen and that's why he has the attitude he has. If he was raised by my dad, he would have respect and responsibility.

If you grow up a certain way, it can have an impact on you as an adult. Never learning respect and independance as a young child, you get used to that lifestyle and you expect to get through life that way.


Sorry for the long story but it's true that how you are raised makes a difference.

 

[Trilliam]

1. This ''mother'' is unfit, I don't care if she just survived cancer, your not in therapy & chemo 24/7 during that time she should have tought her son SOME manners. 2. I can't imagine treating my mom or dad the way this little prik treats his mom. 3. If this kid dosen't shape up fast he's going to end up in alot of trouble with the police, probably go to jail and end up in a gang & maybe even getting killed. 4. The father is not around, where is he? 5. the woman is unemployed correct? I take it that means we the tax payer are paying her wellfare checks then, right?

And your children are aged?

Are you the sort of person that looks at a fractious child in the supermarket and thinks what a bad mother for not controlling that child, or or the sort that either empathises because at one time they've been that parent or wonders whether that poor mum is struggling with a SN child?

 

[Miss Chicken]

1. This ''mother'' is unfit, I don't care if she just survived cancer, your not in therapy & chemo 24/7 during that time she should have tought her son SOME manners. 2. I can't imagine treating my mom or dad the way this little prik treats his mom. 3. If this kid dosen't shape up fast he's going to end up in alot of trouble with the police, probably go to jail and end up in a gang & maybe even getting killed. 4. The father is not around, where is he? 5. the woman is unemployed correct? I take it that means we the tax payer are paying her wellfare checks then, right?

Some people thought that I was unfit as a mother simply because I was a woman on my own and because their father chose not to be around.

That said, I got to admit that my eldest son despite his faults was well-mannered as a child/teenager. He would never had got away with calling me a bitch back then though in the last few years he has started to call me names.

When he complained (aged 14) that the stereo I gave him was 'not good enough' I calmly told him that I would never again spend that much money on him for Christmas and I never did.

However whatever I did I was not able to cure my son of his selfishness and seld-centeredness. He thinks that everything ought to be done for him and he doesn't want get off his backside and make things happen.

The last time he lived with me (when he was about 24) I asked him to wash up the dishes. He said he would wash up the plates that he had used and no more. This despite the fact that I had cooked the meal. A couple of days later he asked me if I had washed his clothes, I answered that I had washed my own clothes and no more and if he wanted me to continue to do his washing or cooking for him he had to do his fair share of the chores.

 

[Trilliam]

Miss Chicken

Did it work?

 

[Miss Chicken]

Miss Chicken

Did it work?

Hard to say. Not long after that he left after stealing money from my purse and also some money from my youngest son's room and also taking his brother's Playstation.

I refuse to have him live with me anymore. Earlier this year I allowed him to stay one night and he ended up being verbally aggressive towards me as soon as his brother left for work the next day.

My youngest son is the only person that my eldest son isn't nasty to. Maybe because he really cannot think of anything to run my youngest son down over.

 

[Danoz]

For all of those expounding the virtues of giving this kid a hiding - that will not solve anything. This kid needs help, not condemnation.

I heartily disagree. Some people won't respond to anything other than force, and this little bastard seems like one of those sorts of people.

I know my rebellious streak was curbed by discipline (no I was not abused as a child) whenever I stepped out of line. If I was even 1/3 disrespectful to my mother my old man definitely let me know it and I'd always regret it later. But this little sociopath doesn't, it seems, so a beating with the PVC pipe with the metal ball bearings stuffing it should definitely force him into respect...

And put the offender in jail and the 13 year old kid in child protective services. This isn't 1950-- this is 2009... parents can't use this kind of punishment, anymore.

The kid should be in military school.

 

[Deckerd]

Can I just say, off topic, that Kirk's Tights is the funniest board name for a good while. Well done.

As you were.

 

[Dingo]

The kid should be in military school.

I agree with you there. However those tough love type boot camps of the ilk run by folks like Raymond Moses of the Jenny Jones Show seem to have gone bad, since at several such camps deaths of teens there have occured.

That being said, a little military discipline might curb this kids problems.

 

[Trilliam]

This ''mother'' is unfit, I don't care if she just survived cancer, your not in therapy & chemo 24/7 during that time she should have tought her son SOME manners.

Well remembering back to how wiped out my FIL was after each chemo treatment - I wouldn't be surprised if she was too sick -especially if there no support from her partner .

 

[propita]

I think verbally destroying him is even better. Physicality solves nothing but a verbal smackdown is something someone never forgets.

My Mom always says, "A slap goes away, but a word stays."