Mothers forced to swap 2yr-old sons.

[Miss Chicken]

No kidding. I didn't read the article but I find it hard to imagine the mothers not being able to keep the child they raised if they were both in agreement. It just sucks for everyone involved.

One of the mothers wanted her natural child back, the other wanted to keep the one she had been raising.

Let me guess, the russian wanted the kid back right?

Yes, the Russian lady wanted her little blonde haired boy back and she gave him the same name as she had been using for the other child (Nikita). She said that, at first, she had wanted to keep the child that she had been raising but her family put pressure on her to get her original child back.

The Chechen mother gave her natural child a new name, Ali. She had called the other child, Adlan.

Nikita's natural brother said he liked his the first Nikita more than the Nikita they have now.

 

[thestrangequark]

Anybody else here ever watch the old Dick Van Dyke Show?

Yes.

One of my all-time favorite episodes!

Ahhh, Dick Van Dyke, one of my first TV crushes. sigh

 

[Data Holmes]

One of the mothers wanted her natural child back, the other wanted to keep the one she had been raising.

Let me guess, the russian wanted the kid back right?

Yes, the Russian lady wanted her little blonde haired boy back and she gave him the same as she had been using for the other child (Nikita). She said that, at first, she had wanted to keep the child that she had been raising but her family put pressure on her to get her original child back.

The Chechen mother gave her natural child a new name, Ali. She had called the other child, Adlan.

Nikita's natural brother said he liked his the first Nikita more than the Nikita they have now.

I saw that coming... couldn't deal with having a Chechen child...

 

[Miss Chicken]

One of the mothers wanted her natural child back, the other wanted to keep the one she had been raising.

That's cos one was a beautiful boy and the other looked like a bag of spanners.

I think that the little brown haired Chechen boy is the most beautiful of the two. He is adorable and, judging from this brief video, seems to be a happy little fellow.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Anybody else here ever watch the old Dick Van Dyke Show?

Yes.

One of my all-time favorite episodes!

Heh. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

 

[archeryguy1701]

Wow, why in the world would the one mom want to swap? I'm having a hard time even putting together a post that accurately shows how I feel on this one... I guess two years of raising the kid isn't enough to develop all of that "unconditional love" stuff.

 

[Captain Shaw]

Wow, why in the world would the one mom want to swap? I'm having a hard time even putting together a post that accurately shows how I feel on this one... I guess two years of raising the kid isn't enough to develop all of that "unconditional love" stuff.

I would not be surprise if it was the fact the the Russian family could not deal with the fact that the birth mother was Chechen

 

[trampledamage]

Look at it from a different point of view. You have one child who you've been raising and loving and still love. But now you know your child, your flesh and blood is somewhere else.

Rather than think of it in terms of giving up the child you have, think how you would feel about your own child being raised by someone else and not doing anything about it.

I don't think there were any easy choices here.

 

[Rii]

Why doesn't it mention how the fathers feel?

They're probably not around.

I don't understand why the one mother insisted on swapping. However, ignorance is not necessarily bliss ... there are plenty of medical reasons why you might want to know if your child had different biological parents, and why you might want to be able to get information about their biological family's medical history.

Good point. I should write this down.

I would not be surprise if it was the fact the the Russian family could not deal with the fact that the birth mother was Chechen

It's possible, but I don't think we're in a position to reasonably assess, much less render judgment on, her motivations in this matter.

 

[archeryguy1701]

Look at it from a different point of view. You have one child who you've been raising and loving and still love. But now you know your child, your flesh and blood is somewhere else.

Rather than think of it in terms of giving up the child you have, think how you would feel about your own child being raised by someone else and not doing anything about it.

I don't think there were any easy choices here.

I guess a question I have is how would you define or declare someone as "your child"? They've known these babies from nearly the very beginning... I guess I just have a hard time understanding how after 2 years of raising kids, finding out that the one you have isn't biologically yours makes it any less your kid. I'm having a hard time putting into words exactly how I'm seeing this, but I hope I'm kinda getting across what I mean...

 

[apostle83]

At least they got something with similar mileage on their tradein.

 

[trampledamage]

Look at it from a different point of view. You have one child who you've been raising and loving and still love. But now you know your child, your flesh and blood is somewhere else.

Rather than think of it in terms of giving up the child you have, think how you would feel about your own child being raised by someone else and not doing anything about it.

I don't think there were any easy choices here.

I guess a question I have is how would you define or declare someone as "your child"? They've known these babies from nearly the very beginning... I guess I just have a hard time understanding how after 2 years of raising kids, finding out that the one you have isn't biologically yours makes it any less your kid. I'm having a hard time putting into words exactly how I'm seeing this, but I hope I'm kinda getting across what I mean...

You're explaining fine - I get what you mean. And I agree with you, in terms of the child they have, for me nothing would change the fact that this was my child.

What I am asking you to do, is look at it from the point of view of knowledge of the other child.

I'm not saying that discovering the child you've been raising isn't your flesh and blood would lessen your love for them. I'm saying how do you feel when you discover there's another child, who is also yours. Could you just ignore the fact they existed?

To some extent, everyone thinks that they can give the most to their children (otherwise why become parents?) - so to know that there was another child out there who was yours, surely you'd also have a need to love them?

How could you leave them without your love?

My turn to ask, am I making sense?

 

[Miss Chicken]

I remember reading about a case that took place in America (?) many years ago.

Two women had given birth at around the same time. One had given birth to twins. the other to a single child.

About 10 years later it seemed that they meet up at a bus train station, or a cinema of something. They recognised each other from when they were in hospital and started to talk about their children. The mother of the single child said "Here comes my boy" and the mother of the twins was shocked to see that the child was the spitting image of one of her twins.

It seems that two of the babies had been mixed up soon after birth before the mothers had a chance to get a good look at them. The twins's mother thought that her twins were non-identical when in fact they were identical twins.

In this case I believe that the families agreed to keep the child that they raised but the families became good friends and the children were able to form good relationships with both families.

A much better outcome than the case in Russia or the case of the Kimberly Mays/Arlena Twigg mix-up.

 

[archeryguy1701]

My turn to ask, am I making sense?

You're making sense as well. Part of me wants to look at it from the perspective of a parent (usually a dad) finding out that there was a child that he didn't know he had. But, at the same time, there's something different about the two situations that I'm just having a hard time reconciling and putting into words.

If the parents wanted to keep the kids they had for the two years, but wanted to try and make a connection with the other kids, that would be one thing. But I guess I'm still not following why a parent would want to just straight trade kids after two years.

 

[trampledamage]

I think it's one of those no-win situations. Keep the child you've got and who you love, and live with the fact that out their your son is growing up without you, or swap them back and live with the fact that out there the son you loved and raised is now growing up without you.