Movie Caption Contest #84: Planets Forbidden

[Rat Boy]

Will you quit sitting there making faces, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's fish out of the water and dry off...

For the picture of Spock learning more than he bargained for in his mind meld with Gracie, our winner is...

Spock: Admiral, if we were to assume these whales are ours to do with as we please, we would be as guilty as those who caused their extinction.

Gillian: Okay! I don't know what this is about, but I want you guys outta here right now or I call the cops!

Kirk: I assure you that won't be necessary. We were only trying to help...

Gillian: The hell you were. Your friend was messing up my tank and messing up my whales...

Spock: They like you very much, but they are not the hell your whales. George especially likes you when you take your nude midnight swims...

Kirk: Spock...

Gillian: Wha...

Spock: ... however Gracie was not particularly pleased last week with you and... Kevin the pool boy? Question doctor, what the hell is a dirty sanchez?

Kirk: Spock...

Gillian: OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT!

Spock: George and Gracie also feel that you need to kick your heroin addiction...

Gillian: GET OUT! OOOOOUUUUTTTT! GET THE FUCK OUT!

For Troi starting to get nervous over hearing the latest version of Data's ditty, our winner is...

Data: "Crash the ship, da da doo doo doo. She's gonna crash the ship, da da da doo, right into the planet on the ground, dah dah dadh DAH!"

And for the picture of DeForest Kelley just grinning and bearing it, our winner is...

DE KELLEY:"All the crap I have to put up with working with you guys...and I'm the one who gets paid the least.

Typical."

And finally, our Photoshop winner, who injected this contest with some much needed funk...

CARL: You were misinformed, a bag doesn't cost a dime.

Congratulations to our winners and here are our updated totals:

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 39
Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 35
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 29
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 24
Shatmandu (Hall of Fame) 20
The Laughing Vulcan 18
Outpost4 15
Turd Ferguson 14
Triskelion 13
Nebusj 11
scottydog 11
Diesel Micky Dolenz 11
EliyahuQeoni 10
BriGuy 9
middyseafort 9
zephramc 9
Kegek 8
DS9Sega 8
cultcross 7
Tharpdevenport 7
John_Picard 6
Atavachron 6
Herkimer Jitty 6
LeadHead 6
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
The Cutest of Borg 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
Skywalker 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Kirby 4
jptrekker 4
Bad Atom 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
Peach Wookie 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
SeerSGB 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
Mistral 2
Alrik 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
The Squire of Gothos 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
S'Kai 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
BriGuy 1
26138 1
Toban Kal 1
trilbymonkey 1
Will 1
Captain Mike 1
Civil Shadow 1
Piper 1

This week, we take a trip down memory lane, but first we have a picture of that crazy bar on Nimbus III, kind of like the Mos Eisley Cantina only without the charm or the budget. As for our second and third pictures, they commemorate a special day, for it was one year ago today that we saw the births of mobster Barney the Testicles and Grignak, the fish-looking coffee asswipe and they have made a triumphant return to mark the occassion. Caption you name, winner I name, otherwise funny nooooooooooo!

 

[Rat Boy]

Bartender: "Your usual room, Governor Spitzer?"

Picard: "Why do I have the feeling we're going to be ignored for the whole contest?"

Supervisor: "I've been getting complaints about how hot you've been brewing the coffee, Mr. Grignak."

 

[Alrik]

Obi Wan: "I've got a baaad feeling about this."

Lily: "Just kiss him already and get it over with. What a drama queen. Jeez."

Officer: "You are under arrest for impersonating one Egg Shen. Please come with me."

 

[Amaris]

To her chagrin, Caithlin went through the wrong entrance and found herself in the midst of rehearsal for Tim Burton's production of "CATS".

"Ruby, this is not a good time."

"Excuse me, Mr. Mandel, we're on in five minutes, and it appears that the staples have come out again! Makeup!"


J.

 

[Rat Boy]

Jabba the Hutt's palace in the new R-rated special edition of Return of the Jedi.

Picard: "Okay, so I understand your nickname. Could you get me some ice for my knee?"

Lawyer: "I represent Lucasfilm Ltd. This is an unauthorized impersonation of Yoda and you must cease and desist immediately."

 

[zephramc]

Woman: Okay, here's the plan. We're going to assassinate Senator... Oh shit! A Jedi!

Picard: I told her I was going out to get some milk. I wish I knew how to quit you. I... Oh shit! My wife!

Bar alien: Sure doctor. I can take you to the forbidden Genesis planet. I'll need a payment of... Oh shit! Starfleet security!

 

[Rat Boy]

Dancer: "Hello? Nude cat dancer here! Ah come on, look at me; it's not like I'm that chick from Total Recall."

 

[Triskelion]

Norm!

 

[Maurice]

Dyke bars...OF THE FUUUUUUTURE!

 

[Rat Boy]

Grignak, the fish-looking coffee asswipe: "Blend you name, size I name, otherwise...the what?"

Joke Police: "Sir, I think you'd better come with me. You've been beating that joke like it owed you money."

 

[Shatmandu]

Chain Molly: "The bathroom? Not sure. There's a chick in booth three who likes getting peed on."

Grignak: "My break's over? Man, I thought Obama won."

 

[Rat Boy]

Grignak (thinking): Oh God; singing they are horrible daybirth song. Rip ears out I want to.

 

[Mistral]

"What? Oh, sure, officer, I've got my green card here somewhere. Er, um, maybe I left it in my other pants..."

 

[Mistral]

In the far future Jawas grew much taller.

 

[Rat Boy]

Jabba (in Huttese): <<I told you not to admit him!>>

Dar: "Uh, I think I'm in the wrong movie."

Bib (in Huttese): <<He must be allowed to speak.>>

Jabba (in Huttese: <<You weak-minded fool! He's...>>

Leia: "Oh for crying out loud, that ain't Luke!"

Dar: "Anyone see a fat Klingon and the butler from Titanic around here?"

Leia: "It's the next desert wasteland planet over."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Crap. I forgot...

Jedi Mind Tricks don't work on drunken cat chicks with three boobs."

DIXON HILL:"The usual.

A dry martini and whichever girl doesn't have syphillis this week."

GRIGNAK:"WHAT?!?

Me shoplifting?


NO!!!!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"I'm looking for the humanoid who vaporized Liberty Valance..."

 

[Alrik]

"I shall let go of your nuts as soon as you apologize for grabbing my date's ass when she walked by."

"Hand cuffs or rope you name, possition I name, or sex with you not."

 

[Alrik]

Stewart: "Look Bill, if it were up to me I would be all for you doing the cameo, but you're the one who wanted the death scene in the last movie so I guess we're kind of stuck."

 

[cooleddie74]

"I'm looking for Sal the Scrotum.

I hear he hangs low here."

GRIGNAK:"Chinese finger-cuff my tight ass? For less than one hundred credits, NO!!!!"