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I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thing.

Jayson

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Sometimes even I am at a lost of words to describe the wierd and fucked up stuff that is rattling around in my head. As you know I recently wrote that a letter to a girl I really liked. I got rejected and almost brought about the apocolpse.:lol:

Thing is I have felt like a different person since then. Something about being emotionally honest with another human has really woke up something inside me and it's been a good and bad thing. Ever since I wrote that letter I seem to go from two alernating emotions. Confidence and extreme deppression. One minute I feel really good but then I realize that no matter what good I do I still have wasted a good deal of my life and I might never fall in love or have someone love me. I then get really deppressed and overwelmed with the emotion to a point were I think I might be getting anxiety attacks. Sometimes I feel like i can hardly even breate and it makes me want to just end it all but then it also makes me want to improve the way I am living my life so I do things like call this guy who was my best friend for years and try and reconnect. When I do this I feel good but then the roller coaster starts again.


Am i the only one here who has these constantly shifing emotions that feed off each other? Also I got a date with a tranny cheerleader which factors in somehow.

Jason
 
Re: I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thin

If confidence is what you feel when you are trying, and depression is what you feel when nothing good comes from trying, then perhaps you're trying the wrong things?

Is being in love really necessary for you to feel happy?
 
Re: I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thin

Sometimes even I am at a lost of words to describe the wierd and fucked up stuff that is rattling around in my head. As you know I recently wrote that a letter to a girl I really liked. I got rejected and almost brought about the apocolpse.:lol:

Thing is I have felt like a different person since then. Something about being emotionally honest with another human has really woke up something inside me and it's been a good and bad thing. Ever since I wrote that letter I seem to go from two alernating emotions. Confidence and extreme deppression. One minute I feel really good but then I realize that no matter what good I do I still have wasted a good deal of my life and I might never fall in love or have someone love me. I then get really deppressed and overwelmed with the emotion to a point were I think I might be getting anxiety attacks. Sometimes I feel like i can hardly even breate and it makes me want to just end it all but then it also makes me want to improve the way I am living my life so I do things like call this guy who was my best friend for years and try and reconnect. When I do this I feel good but then the roller coaster starts again.


Am i the only one here who has these constantly shifing emotions that feed off each other?
Wait for it...

Also I got a date with a tranny cheerleader which factors in somehow.

Jason

And scene!
 
Re: I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thin

Look on the bright side. You got a date!
 
Re: I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thin

I can't tell you how many transvestite cheerleaders from Oklahoma I've encountered in my travels.
 
Re: I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thin

I can't tell you how many transvestite cheerleaders from Oklahoma I've encountered in my travels.

Seeing yourself in the mirror doesn't count...


ZING!
 
Re: I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thin

I can't tell you how many transvestite cheerleaders from Oklahoma I've encountered in my travels.

Is that because of that court order?

Damned activist judges!!!

I can't tell you how many transvestite cheerleaders from Oklahoma I've encountered in my travels.

Seeing yourself in the mirror doesn't count...


ZING!

Oh no! Your words...they...they have wounded me!
 
Re: I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thin

Am i the only one here who has these constantly shifing emotions that feed off each other? Also I got a date with a tranny cheerleader which factors in somehow.
No, there are many others. Most are either writers, artists, musicians, or inpatients in a mental hospital.
 
Re: I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thin

No, there are many others. Most are either writers, artists, musicians, or inpatients in a mental hospital.

That's a d4 roll. Oh, also gamers. Make that a d5.

I've been 4 out of 5! :bolian:
 
Re: I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thin

Sometimes even I am at a lost of words to describe the wierd and fucked up stuff that is rattling around in my head. As you know I recently wrote that a letter to a girl I really liked. I got rejected and almost brought about the apocolpse.:lol:

Thing is I have felt like a different person since then. Something about being emotionally honest with another human has really woke up something inside me and it's been a good and bad thing. Ever since I wrote that letter I seem to go from two alernating emotions. Confidence and extreme deppression. One minute I feel really good but then I realize that no matter what good I do I still have wasted a good deal of my life and I might never fall in love or have someone love me. I then get really deppressed and overwelmed with the emotion to a point were I think I might be getting anxiety attacks. Sometimes I feel like i can hardly even breate and it makes me want to just end it all but then it also makes me want to improve the way I am living my life so I do things like call this guy who was my best friend for years and try and reconnect. When I do this I feel good but then the roller coaster starts again.


Am i the only one here who has these constantly shifing emotions that feed off each other? Also I got a date with a tranny cheerleader which factors in somehow.

Jason

It didn't make sense until the end....
 
Re: I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thin

Am i the only one here who has these constantly shifing emotions that feed off each other?


No, lots of people have them. Unfortunately, they are all manic depressives. Get on Lithium!
 
Re: I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thin

It's been eons since I've sig'd someone.
 
Re: I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thin

Sometimes even I am at a lost of words to describe the wierd and fucked up stuff that is rattling around in my head. As you know I recently wrote that a letter to a girl I really liked. I got rejected and almost brought about the apocolpse.:lol:

Thing is I have felt like a different person since then. Something about being emotionally honest with another human has really woke up something inside me and it's been a good and bad thing. Ever since I wrote that letter I seem to go from two alernating emotions. Confidence and extreme deppression. One minute I feel really good but then I realize that no matter what good I do I still have wasted a good deal of my life and I might never fall in love or have someone love me. I then get really deppressed and overwelmed with the emotion to a point were I think I might be getting anxiety attacks. Sometimes I feel like i can hardly even breate and it makes me want to just end it all but then it also makes me want to improve the way I am living my life so I do things like call this guy who was my best friend for years and try and reconnect. When I do this I feel good but then the roller coaster starts again.


Am i the only one here who has these constantly shifing emotions that feed off each other? Also I got a date with a tranny cheerleader which factors in somehow.

Jason

Come on dog. We all got problems rattling around our heads. I'm not sure how old you are, but life is just like this. You got to sort it out and make it work. And it isn't ever going to get easier, won't lie about that.

As for rejection? We all go through it. It isn't fun but its what makes us different from the rest of the animal world. I have no problem if you want to send me a PM on a particular issue. I'm an old dude (over 40) and I have seen it all...well..most of it.

But other than that...just always know that as bad as you may have it? There is some kid being born right now in some crazy part of this world in to a life that is filled with starvation or violence that is so far out of yours and my league it isn't even funny..

Rob
 
Re: I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thin

What you describe seems vaguely chemical to me. I mean in that you are having these feelings, but chemical reactions are pushing them to the extreme edge in each swing. I'd consider trying out medications, maybe at a smaller dose. Or hell maybe even try St Johns Wort (herbal, not as strong as prescription meds, but no nasty side effects either) - it does help.
 
Re: I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thin

Jayson, as a bipolar person reading what you have written all I can say to you is that you are not alone. There are many who will feel this way their entire lives. When you are down just remember that it will pass, it always does.

And, regarding your date with the tranny cheerleader - this thread is useless without pics.
 
Re: I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thin

Jayson, as a bipolar person reading what you have written all I can say to you is that you are not alone. There are many who will feel this way their entire lives. When you are down just remember that it will pass, it always does.

And, regarding your date with the tranny cheerleader - this thread is useless without pics.

Ummm...My wife's 'naughty' side likes Tranny (shhhhh..dont tell anyone...)

Rob
 
Re: I have been having suicide thoughts but it's not always a bad thin

I don't presume to know exactly what you are going through. Having said that I can say that I have had a rather tough life and have at times thought of ending it all. Needless to say, I have not. Furthermore I think you'll find that while things may not be quite perfect in life somehow there is a way that all things can become worthwhile. Read into this what you may, but I think you live for happiness and fulfilment. Strive to cancel out negativity around you and search for what makes you smile. A downside in life is that we all have to work at it. Be it your job or your family or the place in which you live, keep positive in what you do. Work hard and play hard. Know that we have all had those thoughts but there is only one life to live. Live well and be well. No, it is not perfect but between the lines bliss is there. <-- Quite sappy, I know. But I believe in it. Perhaps try a little "pay it forward" mentality? See what develops. Peace, I'm out.
 
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