TOS Caption Contest #129 - Time

[Mistral]

Spock finally caught the guy who kept setting the AC at 69.

 

[Mistral]

Spock thought he could post up over the power forward but the man had calculated the angles and the odds, the distance and the arc of the shot. He was ready. Oh, yes, he was ready. Except the computer he used worked on Vista. It forgot to tell him to turn around.

 

[Shatmandu]

Crewman Clyde: "Hey, the video from all these in-toilet cameras are routed to the quarters of Mister Sp-"
<Spock nerve-pinches him, drags body to air lock, dumps it in, pumps it out.>

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "This is what we get for asking Inch High, Private Eye to solve the case."

 

[Cakes488]

With the ship's handball championship just a week away, Spock fixed it so the blue shirts wouldn't lose to team saggy ass yet again.

 

[Triskelion]

Bones...I think I'm having some kind of reaction to these food cubes.
Just a minute Jim. I'm gonna get that little sucker.

Later....

Kirk: I'm skipping this captain's log supplemental.

 

[M'Sharak]

" ...and that's why I think we-- ... what is it, Bones?"
"We must have a hole in the screen door again. Look, there's
a damn Vulcan in my coffee!"
"So there is. I'll put a crewman on it right away."



[**waves to hejira**]

 

[Gertch]

Kirk: "What's that Spock doing in your coffee?"
McCoy: "It's not the blasted back stroke!"

 

[Rat Boy]

*T'Pol, Hoshi, and Reed whistle the Harlem Globetrotters' theme*

 

[Gertch]

"Leonard's auditioning for Land of the Giants this afternoon."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Your crew-themed novelty items are starting to disturb people."
McCoy: "Oh, so I threw out the Uhura oven mitt, and now I can't use my Spock Double-Stir Swizzle Stick?"

Scotty, offscreen, woozy: "This's the last time I let Mister Sulu mix me drink. I'm liable to wake up in his quarters with a bloody arsehole again."

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: One Vulcan One Cup, Bones?

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty (off camera): "Aye, they're in the machinery all right."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Scotty (off camera): "Aye, they're in the machinery all right."

McCoy: "As far as I can make out Jim, the little fella's bisexual."

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty (off camera): "Aye, they're in the machinery all right."

McCoy: "As far as I can make out Jim, the little fella's bisexual."

Scotty: "I'll beam the lot of them to the Klingons' engine room, where they'll fashion them into thong underwear."

Mr. Leslie: "I've got to go to Scotty's quarters. He wants to show me his etchings."

 

[cooleddie74]

"DAMMIT, Jim!

Can we get that size ray back from the Orions...and soon?

Sooner or later I'm gonna end up accidentally eatin' Spock and passin' HIS green-blooded ass out of MY ass!!"

Space Cocaine is a HELLUVA drug.

 

[cooleddie74]

Spock wanted his blue hi-bounce ball back.

So muchso...he was willing to trespass for it.

 

[M'Sharak]

Kirk: "Your crew-themed novelty items are starting to disturb people."
McCoy: "Oh, so I threw out the Uhura oven mitt, and now I can't use my Spock Double-Stir Swizzle Stick?"

*snerf*

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: With this miniature clone, I shall now be able to play a practical joke on Dr. McCoy.

Moments later...

Mini-Spock: Surprise!
Bones: Damnit, that pointy-eared hobgoblin!

 

[Nerys Myk]

CLYDE: Dim the lights. A little mood music. Do you like Appletinis Mr. Spock?

(Spock slowly backs out of the room)