TOS Caption Contest #129 - Time

[Outpost4]

Kirk: Bones, stop complaining and saying you want a steak. You can gum melon pieces.

 

[Cakes488]

Kirk: Bones *cough cough gasp* I'm choking, perform the heimlich maneuver....quick...

McCoy: Damnit Jim I'm a doctor not a.......- oh yeah I'm a doctor...!!!

 

[Cakes488]

Spock new how to quell his Pon Far urges with no one being any the wiser. His one fatal calculation: that vexing jumpsuit.

 

[Cakes488]

Spock wanted the Vulcan Polka played at the annual Enterprise Dance and dammit to hell he was going to get it!

 

[Nerys Myk]

The crewman should have heeded Spock's advice to " Turn down that goddamn music!!!!"

 

[M'Sharak]

Stealth Spock, about to show the technician what "goes to eleven" is like.

 

[John Picard]

McCoy: "Dammit, Jim. These caption contests should be completed in a timely manner."

Kirk: "I agree; however, Outpost4 firmly believes he has *other priorities* which prevent that from happening."

McCoy: "Yeah? *Oh, my band came over the other night and we practiced late* LOSERS!"

 

[Outpost4]

Musicians = losers. Tell me something I don't know.

 

[Rat Boy]

Musicians = losers. Tell me something I don't know.

Indiana Jones robbed cradles as well as graves?

 

[Cakes488]

It was finally Spock's Turn to be "it" at Space hide-n-seek

 

[Triskelion]

The Sewer Planning Commission knows nothing about music! Visigoths!

Easy, Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy. Don't stress out. I just had my boots polished.

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY:"Great. My Play-Doh casserole has turned."

 

[cooleddie74]

Spock just plain sucked at Marco Polo.

 

[cooleddie74]

Gang bangs in the 23rd century started out a lot more awkwardly.

 

[26138]

Because the Starfleet uniforms didn't have any pockets, pickpocketing in the 23rd century required a bit more skill.

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "I can't believe you told her I was gay."
Kirk: "I didn't want the fat one. Quiet, quiet, they're coming back ... <stands, pulls out his date's chair>"

Spock: "BAG TAG! <slaps Crewman Clyde in the nuts>"

At the trial, Spock blamed his killing spree on Dr. McCoy's constant derogatory comments about Vulcans.

Kirk: "You just can't do that."
McCoy: "I'd like to see you get by on my salary without having to sell roofies on the side."

McCoy: "I don't know why I like it. Maybe it's the flapping of the genitals: up and down, up and down, up ... and down ... and up ..."
Kirk: "All right, all right. Jesus, sorry I fuckin' asked. <takes bite, looks disgusted, stands, leaves>"

 

[Rat Boy]

Worker: "Caption Contest #77 is back? Cool! I can totally post a joke about..."

*Stealth Spock nerve pinches Worker*

 

[Civil Shadow]

McCoy: This is the worst artificial sweetener since that time I peed in your icecream.
Kirk: Actually, that wasn't too bad at all.
McCoy: Go figure.

 

[Triskelion]

We'll never move these novelty cups! Are you trying to get us strung up on choking hazard class action suits?? I should have made Sulu Vice President of the toy division. At least he's got experience.

Yeah, too much experience you ask me, Jim.

 

[Mistral]

Bones: "Damnit, Jim, I asked for cream in my coffee, not a creampuff!"

Kirk: "Be careful, he may not be able to perform the Vulcan Neck Pinch but if you slip him into your skivvies he can pinch the yolk out of the egg, if you know what I mean."

McCoy: "???"

Kirk: "Well, ah, um, that's what I've heard."