How important are looks (men vs women)
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Amaris
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You know, I'm discovering this as I get older and wiser about relationships. Most women seem to want men they can hug, snuggle with and get comfortable with. This doesn't mean women want slobs, but a guy who has some extra fat seems to be more preferred than the rippling abs. No offense, RojoHen.
You see, I've always been overweight, but I've been told I carry it well, that I'm "huggable". I never made the connection that might mean something more to women.
J.
Thespeckledkiwi
Vice Admiral
I'm fucking blind. What the hell do I care what my girlfriend looks like in the morning. I can't see worth hell anyways.
Yeah yeah, we all know Im darned sexy
Actually....thats a lie, I just like making myself feel a little less ugly
Id much rather have someone I can have an actual conversation with than be just nice to look at, cause after awhile, that gets boring..and creepy.
I like the lot really - good looks, some "go" - as in they have their own stuff going on and don't expect a walking cash machine, nice if they have some post-graduate education or demonstrate they are intelligent in some other way. Life is too short to spend with someone who's not your mental equal.
Looks interest me right off, but Ive dated more than my share of girls that others mightn't have looked twice at. My tastes are quirky and uneven and that usually means I'm not competing with anyone for the object of my affections. I'm still picky, but my pickiness tends to me more about the girl herself than her looks. I will say though that the one constant is size. I've never found myself all that attracted to any girl who was carrying more than a few extra pounds. My tastes lean towards short girls but most of my girlfriends have been tall so apparently it don't matter too much.
There is a beauty that you can tell will last a lifetime, or even grow as they age. Those tend to be the girls I'm knocked head-over-heels by. I think that is why my tastes are so hard to predict, because my eye is for long-term appreciability rather than how made up she is or how perfectly fit she is.
There is a beauty that you can tell will last a lifetime, or even grow as they age. Those tend to be the girls I'm knocked head-over-heels by. I think that is why my tastes are so hard to predict, because my eye is for long-term appreciability rather than how made up she is or how perfectly fit she is.
Ya know, I have discovered this trend as well. Too bad. I don't have abs quite yet, but I do want them for myself. I don't want to be ridiculously defined, though. I'm not entering any bodybuilding competitions or anything. I'm already tall and thin, and that's probably not changing anytime soon, but I gots to do something about these love handles. They completely throw off my proportions.
You know, I'm discovering this as I get older and wiser about relationships. Most women seem to want men they can hug, snuggle with and get comfortable with. This doesn't mean women want slobs, but a guy who has some extra fat seems to be more preferred than the rippling abs. No offense, RojoHen.
You see, I've always been overweight, but I've been told I carry it well, that I'm "huggable". I never made the connection that might mean something more to women.
J.
[Ya know, I have discovered this trend as well. Too bad. I don't have abs quite yet, but I do want them for myself. I don't want to be ridiculously defined, though. I'm not entering any bodybuilding competitions or anything. I'm already tall and thin, and that's probably not changing anytime soon, but I gots to do something about these love handles. They completely throw off my proportions.
Slightly OT - but I'm the same. I don't much care for having abs and despite the time I spend in the gym, I want a bit of flab. It suits me. What I hate is explaining that to people and then being called a liar. Because everyone wants to look like an Adonis :|
Anyway... attractiveness... it's a weird thing as I've went in an out of attractive phases.
When I was younger, thin and had long blonde hair a lot of women seemed to dig the effeminate look that gave me, and lots of men picked up on it and kept trying to pick me up. Which was awesome - free beer, no commitment.
Now I'm just... average and a bit strange. I need to fall back into the attractive group again. I want free beer
A
Amaris
Guest
Ya know, I have discovered this trend as well. Too bad. I don't have abs quite yet, but I do want them for myself. I don't want to be ridiculously defined, though. I'm not entering any bodybuilding competitions or anything. I'm already tall and thin, and that's probably not changing anytime soon, but I gots to do something about these love handles. They completely throw off my proportions.
I've been told I have the body type to make me a walking brick wall if I chose to tone everything up. I kind of like the idea of that.
Seriously though, I do want to firm up, but not so much that I'm said walking brick wall. Let there be some fat, not a whole lot, but enough to make me stay huggable.
I would like well defined arms and legs though. Well, arms. My calve muscles are huge.
Slightly OT - but I'm the same. I don't much care for having abs and despite the time I spend in the gym, I want a bit of flab. It suits me. What I hate is explaining that to people and then being called a liar. Because everyone wants to look like an Adonis :|
Anyway... attractiveness... it's a weird thing as I've went in an out of attractive phases.
When I was younger, thin and had long blonde hair a lot of women seemed to dig the effeminate look that gave me, and lots of men picked up on it and kept trying to pick me up. Which was awesome - free beer, no commitment.
Now I'm just... average and a bit strange. I need to fall back into the attractive group again. I want free beer
I don't know if the human body was designed to really be total muscle anyway. I have nothing against body builders, I admire that kind of serious dedication. But I could never do it, nor would I want to. Strong, firm tone? Yes. So muscley that my muscles have muscle muscles? No thanks.
J.
TheLonelySquire
Vice Admiral
Not that important. Of course my chick is a stunna.
I'm in agreement with both. I've seen guys (bodybuilders and wrestlers) bulk up to the point where their body was too heavy for them - which was mostly an issue for the wrestlers as it kills movement, but wrestling and image is an issue I could rant endlessly about
I also agree with the muscle on muscle thing. It's just not appealing to me but I do respect the training a lot of bodybuilder I know go through, it just creeps me out when it goes too far.
I quite liked something a wrestler by the name Drew McDonald said when he was asked backstage if he ever wanted to tone up and get some abs. "Abs? I've made a career out of being a fat bastard. If I start getting abs I'm going to McDonalds."
I love that philosophy.
For me, personality is far more important
I like pretty but unique. Everyone I've liked is beautiful but... at the same time odd looking.
And don't believe it; most women like abs. Let's not make excuses now.
And don't believe it; most women like abs. Let's not make excuses now.
looks are important, but i've been told that i have weird taste in girls. personality is at least equally important.
also: practically without fail, all the girls i lusted after in high school, when i've seen them more recently (almost 10 years later) have looked TERRIBLE.
also: practically without fail, all the girls i lusted after in high school, when i've seen them more recently (almost 10 years later) have looked TERRIBLE.
It's the total package. And beauty and sex appeal is in the eyes of the beholder. Myself, I'm attracted to zoftig women with curves. I also prefer raven-tressed women, but some redheads flip my switch, too. If you can't stand to be around the person, though, she can make you harder than a diamond -- until she opens her mouth. You should like the person you're with, and want to hang with her, and have her back, and hope she likes to hang with you and have your back. -- RR
I think everyone has their own ideal that has nothing to do with what society tries to claim everyone thinks. It is a combination of genetics and what you were used to growing up. Plus I think it's verily easily influenced by personality. That man may have a chisled jaw and be 6'3" but if he's a total asshole then he's not attractive.
Every day I tell my husband that he's super sexy and adorable and to me he is the sexiest man alive.
Every day I tell my husband that he's super sexy and adorable and to me he is the sexiest man alive.
I think it depends on your level of emotional maturity. When we're younger we all want someone who is "hot" but as we get older and hopefully wiser other traits become just as if not more important: humor, compassion, intelligence, etc.
For me a guy with "average" looks who can really make me laugh is going to appear more attractive to me than a conventionally handsome man who is a whiner.
For me a guy with "average" looks who can really make me laugh is going to appear more attractive to me than a conventionally handsome man who is a whiner.
I like pretty but unique. Everyone I've liked is beautiful but... at the same time odd looking.
And don't believe it; most women like abs. Let's not make excuses now.
I've never met "Most Women". Who is she? What's she like? Do any of us really even know her?
See, I don't want to meet this person called "most women", and I never have. I take each person on their own terms and have found throughout my life that their is no "most women" woman out there. Every single one has had some kind of oddity. Something about them that is weird. Dare I say, even a little perverse.
And their beauty, relative to whatever you consider that to be, isn't always something that informs their judgment. This is something that men in our society are socialized from an early age NOT to believe.
Whether there are women out there who want the big teddy bear type of guy (and you know there are, if we're being honest) isn't the point. The point is, when you meet that one woman, you sidious or me QCzar can't know that. She might really, truly be turned on only by big guys or by svelte guys. Then again, she may be into those scrawny, vampire-looking androgynous types.
She may truly not even care! *gasp*
Remember, there is a beauty in not knowing and a wisdom in not assuming. Keep yourself together (as in clean, groomed, goal oriented and interesting, etc.) and it shouldn't matter too much what you look like.
