I Was Strangled and Beaten by a Stranger. I'm Injured. I'm Angry.

[Captain Ice]

First, Bears I need to tell you how proud I am of you for stepping in and helping the victim. You did what very few people will. The reaction of the others in your building is appalling to me.

She said her son would probably go to prison because he had outstanding warrants because he had skipped bail before.......
The courts released the son on bail and he skipped bail, so my son has not seen justice done.

I don't know about the legal system over there, but over here the history of skipping bail should result in a situation where he's held without bail. It's the court's own stupid fault for allowing it to happen the second and, I'm guessing, third time.

Stick with this thing. Annoy enough people long enough and something will happen. But don't let it consume you. Once the wheels are in motion, get out and do something fun, something that lets you focus on what you do have rather than what you don't. Buy an ice cream. I'd treat you to that myself if I lived out west.

Agreed. And I'm tempted to head over to LA and do just that right now, even though it means that i would not arrive until almost dinnertime if I left right now.

Wow. Just wow. Don't know what to say that won't sound cliche, but kick some ass! Doesn't sound like they're sitting on much money to sue, but sue the attacker and his boyfriend anyway. And DEFINITELY press charges, get his ass locked up. The apartment manager is gonna come out of his owing you some money, if you do it right. He let a KNOWN problem continue, and this was the result. Your assailant knows where you live, and lives in the same building, so by not letting you move to another apartment, or letting you out of your lease at all, he's subjecting you to potential future harm. That's good for some money, a lease-breaking deal, and something for the psychological fear you have of the guy coming back to your home. Not throwing the guy out after this incident, and the crap with the only partially-functional elevator ought to seal that up easy. Talk with a lawyer first, but that might be a good one to bring to the local news, embarass the shit out of that guy, and he'll be forced to let you out and kick out the other guy, for starters. Going the lawyer route first might help your case first, though...

Just wow. Hang in there, Bear

Quoted for truth. Taking this to a local news station (all seven if it's possible) should at least result in the landlord letting you out of your lease. You do need to talk to a lawyer first though as doing so may undermine your court cases.

As for feeling sympathy for the victim or being insensitive, fuck him, fuck him raw and in the ear. Its because of the both of them that you are injured. Anyone that tells you that has their head so firmly planted up their ass that they are of no use. Those dipshits are scum.

Finally if there is anything I can do (and I dont know what I can) do not hesitate to ask me.

Fuck. I know this is the testosterone talking, but I feel like going down there all "Sin City" style and beating some ass.

you aint the only one. I have met Bears. She is a lovely young lady. Im in full on dad-in-fucking-rage mode.

Make it three. Bastards like this just make me want to kick some ass.

He's an abused spouse and just because he doesn't want to press charges against his attacker doesn't necessarily speak ill of his character. He has Stockholm or abused spouse syndrome. He's been beaten psychologically as well as physically.

I don't think a whole lot of shame and hate should be heaped on him, nor any wish of more harm to him. He's just as battered and beaten as BDF, if not more so because he's mentally beaten too. He needs pity and help not scorn and hate.

Fuck him. He is a grown adult, not an infant who doesnt know any better. I've seen situations like this time and time again. Concerned and loving friends and family try to intervene for years and the "victim" just blows them off. Well that's all fine and well. They want to be a punching bag, that's their thing. But the moment is spills out and an innocent victim becomes apart of the drama my sympathy goes out the fucking window. So again, fuck him. He is an adult and knew what was right and what was wrong and decided to ignore it all because he felt insecure or had no self esteem or just like the piece of ass he was getting. Now for his selfishness someone else has been hurt, some one I care about. I hope the bastard has nightmares forever and cant look at himself in the mirror with out wanting to cry.

Agreed. I've also seen these situations before. Now someone that I care about has been hurt as a result of his selfishness. I also hold out the hope that he can't look himself in the eye without being ridden with guilt.

Also, Bears, if there is anything that I can do, please don't hesitate to call. I'm only a short car ride away.

 

[John Clark]

I'm sorry to hear about this Bears.

I've never been through anything like this, so I don't have any advice except for the same that others have offered.

 

[sidious618]

Terrible situation. You should sue everyone in sight including the police at this point since they've been incredibly negligent.

 

[TheBrew]

Make it three. Bastards like this just make me want to kick some ass.

Four actually, since we also have J. Allen on our side. Does that make us a posse meting out our own brand of street justice?

 

[Bears Discover Fire]

As for the comments that the other victim deserves a pass because of stockholm syndrome:

He does not deserve a pass, no matter how battered he is now. He is an adult with autonomy and resources. His duty to himself and everyone else was to walk away the first time his partner laid a hand on him. He didn't, and that speaks volumes about his character. He chose to stay and let himself be battered into the stupid little waif who endangers everyone else.

I have no sympathy for abuse victims who choose to stay with their abusers. None at all. They hurt themselves, they hurt their children, they hurt their families, and in my case, they hurt total strangers.

Do you know what it was like to have to call my mother and tell her I had been assaulted and strangled? My SO? My sister? My best friend? My boss? What it was like to hear the phone ringing, knowing that as soon as they picked up I would cause them horrible pain? What it was like to hear them wail and panic and sob on the other end of the phone? What about the other strangers who innocously ask what I did to get myself into a cast?

This stopped being all about the other victim the moment he started screaming for help in the common room. He involved me, and as soon as I dialed 911 he began actively sabotaging my safety, my chances for justice, aid and peace of mind. He is hurting me for his own selfish, weak motives.

It's wrong. There is no black and white about it. No touchy-feely rationalizations and no enabling. Enabling is evil. And there's been a lot of enabling going on since friday.

 

[Bears Discover Fire]

Sorry to double post but Victim Services finally returned my call.

The attacker was arrested but is out on bail (anyone wanna bet who bailed him out?). He was charged with a single misdemeanor count for battery against the other victim. They did not charge him for anything he did to me.

WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK IS THIS?

Excuse me, I need to go cry for awhile before I call the DA.

 

[Pingfah]

Wow that's amazing. I would have thought the police would want to press charges against him, that's their fucking JOB.

 

[Bob The Skutter]

Sorry to hear that, Bears. I hope you can manage to get this sorted. The police definitely deserve any lawsuit you can bring against them.

 

[Scout101]

Sorry to double post but Victim Services finally returned my call.

The attacker was arrested but is out on bail (anyone wanna bet who bailed him out?). He was charged with a single misdemeanor count for battery against the other victim. They did not charge him for anything he did to me.

WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK IS THIS?

Excuse me, I need to go cry for awhile before I call the DA.

That's crap. As soon as you get yourself composed, get the DA on the horn ASAP. Battery against the other guy is all well and good, but he definitely pushed it into assault category. Not sure about the part where he ripped your shirt off, but i would think there's grounds to at least mention sexual assault in the process. Either way, you want the cops to come pick him up again IMMEDIATELY, and a copy of that report. Mention to the DA that you already told the cops this and that they didn't do anything to help you...

 

[Brutal Strudel]

I have no sympathy for abuse victims who choose to stay with their abusers. None at all. They hurt themselves, they hurt their children, they hurt their families, and in my case, they hurt total strangers.

Funny thing is, you can say this about a gay couple and get a lot of people to agree with you. Say it of a straight couple in which the woman is the victim and it's a whole nother ballgame.

Only it ain't.

 

[Bob The Skutter]

I have no sympathy for abuse victims who choose to stay with their abusers. None at all. They hurt themselves, they hurt their children, they hurt their families, and in my case, they hurt total strangers.

Funny thing is, you can say this about a gay couple and get a lot of people to agree with you. Say it of a straight couple in which the woman is the victim and it's a whole nother ballgame.

Only it ain't.

I'd agree even with a straight couple, especially with a straight couple if there's children involved.

 

[Crusher Disciple]

I have no sympathy for abuse victims who choose to stay with their abusers. None at all. They hurt themselves, they hurt their children, they hurt their families, and in my case, they hurt total strangers.

Funny thing is, you can say this about a gay couple and get a lot of people to agree with you. Say it of a straight couple in which the woman is the victim and it's a whole nother ballgame.

Only it ain't.

Personally, I couldn't care less. They're reckless cowards no matter what gender they are.

 

[Bears Discover Fire]

I have no sympathy for abuse victims who choose to stay with their abusers. None at all. They hurt themselves, they hurt their children, they hurt their families, and in my case, they hurt total strangers.

Funny thing is, you can say this about a gay couple and get a lot of people to agree with you. Say it of a straight couple in which the woman is the victim and it's a whole nother ballgame.

Only it ain't.

Enablers and apologists will try to paint it to be another thing, but it's exactly the same thing. Hetero women are more likely to have children in an abusive relationship than a gay couple, which increases the egregiousness of their behavior. Unlike the adults who consciously chose to put them in that sort of situation, minor children have very little power to protect themselves.

I'm a woman, so it is not some sort of gender-borne ignorance when I say that No woman should get off the hook for this sort of thing. Anyone who enables a woman to cry 'weak!' and 'powerless!' as an excuse for staying with an abuser is doing a disservice to feminism, family, and society.

 

[FrontLine]

Sorry to double post but Victim Services finally returned my call.

The attacker was arrested but is out on bail (anyone wanna bet who bailed him out?). He was charged with a single misdemeanor count for battery against the other victim. They did not charge him for anything he did to me.

WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK IS THIS?

Excuse me, I need to go cry for awhile before I call the DA.

That's crap. As soon as you get yourself composed, get the DA on the horn ASAP. Battery against the other guy is all well and good, but he definitely pushed it into assault category. Not sure about the part where he ripped your shirt off, but i would think there's grounds to at least mention sexual assault in the process. Either way, you want the cops to come pick him up again IMMEDIATELY, and a copy of that report. Mention to the DA that you already told the cops this and that they didn't do anything to help you...

Agreed. Dont cry (just yet). Get mad. Call the DA and ask them WTF is going on and demand he be arrested for the felony charge of aggravated battery and sexual assault on you.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Also, perhaps the DA could pull a Jack McCoy and charge the *victim* as well. Conspiracy, maybe? Accessory to whatever? Reckless endangerment? After all, if the vic hadn't opened his big fat yapper, Bears might not have been attacked. He should have known that the things he said put her in danger.

 

[Crusher Disciple]

What about civil charges?

 

[K'Ehleyr]

So sorry to hear about your dreadfull experience. I agree with the vast majority of the other posters, hit them hard: The assailant, the victim for not backing you up and appreciating you putting your life on the line for him, the police for being totally unsympathetic and totally useless, your landlord for negligence of your safety if he knew previous history of the couple. Getting the media involved is a great idea, newspapers, tv, anything. But as previously advised get a lawyer first else it may backfire - which it bloody shouldn't but as you know now shit happens and it would be awful if this got any worse.
I wish you all the very best and a speedy recovery. You did the right thing, you were very brave and you didn't deserve this. Keep on fighting against how you were treated. As for staying at your Mums, stay there, talk to her, and accept as much help as you're offered. Even if it's just shopping for you. You need to cocoon up and recover for a bit. x

 

[Bears Discover Fire]

What about civil charges?

*evil cackle*

Oh, they're a'comin. They're a'comin.

 

[FrontLine]

What about civil charges?

Later. Better to wait until the criminal charges are at least filed. But for that the best thing to do is get the advice form a good ambulance chaser. She show them where the wounded animal is and then let nature take its course. They'll know how and when to strike. Its in their DNA.

 

[Captain X]

Wow that's amazing. I would have thought the police would want to press charges against him, that's their fucking JOB.

It wouldn't surprise me if this is related to the fact that a gay couple is involved. You have to keep in mind that one of Dahmer's victims almost got away, but the cops picked him up and brought him back to Dahmer, despite the man's protests, which resulted in the man's death. I've noticed that police tend to drag their heels where minorities are involved, and the LAPD is especially notorious for abuses to minorities. The DA or the state's attorney is going to be the best bet now. Or you could pull the minority card yourself and get the ACLU involved too.