An annoying woman

[Miss Chicken]

I moved into my new house about 8 months ago. The first few months I concentrated on getting everything I needed for inside but now I have started on the garden.

Before I moved in the Housing Department did a far bit of cleaning up of the garden as the woman who had lived in the house (Elaine) before let it get very overgrown. Even so, the garden is still very disorganised with plants just placed any old where.

The first thing I am tackling is the area right near the carport which is a real mess. I have started pulling everything out so that I can start from scratch.

Anyway the woman who used to live here comes by to see if any mail has come for her. Most of the time I just write on her mail that she has moved, new address unknown.

Because my house is side on, i.e both back and front doors are at the side of the property, most people just come to the back door through the carport.

The first time Elaine came she complained that the Housing Department had removed the fishpond and she was concerned about what had became of the fish that she had left there.

Yesterday, Elaine came and she looked at the 'garden' and started to complain. "You have pulled out my geraniums, why did you do that? I am so upset etc"

I bit my tongue, went and got the mail, handed it to her two letters that had come the day before and told her I was busy and couldn't talk. I thought the woman had a nerve criticising anything I was doing to the garden seeing it was no longer hers.

I know I should really just tell this woman to stay away but I find it hard to be impolite.

What would you do in my place?

 

[Holdfast]

I know I should really just tell this woman to stay away but I find it hard to be impolite.

What would you do in my place?

You already know what to do. Also, tell her about mail redirection services.

 

[Rii]

You should've told her that the Housing Department had relocated her fish on separate, undisclosed premises after they'd contacted Social Services regarding the conditions under which they were being kept.

 

[SeerSGB]

Pretty much what you did. If she got to annoying, just tell her to eff off and never come back.

People like this woman annoy the devil out of me. Once you move out, it's not longer your house. you don't get a say in what the new owners do with it.

Back when I was house shopping-- before the crash-- I go so tired of owners saying "Well I did this...I did that...and I'd be really upset if any did something to <insert item>, you have to promise you won't take it out of here."

You should've told her that the Housing Department had relocated her fish on separate, undisclosed premises after they'd contacted Social Services regarding the conditions under which they were being kept.

No what you say is: "Oh that was fish pond? I thought those were for eating...tasty little suckers too, went great with a little cocktail sauce."

 

[trekkiedane]

I think I would have asked her why she didn't take them with her when she moved.

But I believe that I'm to nice a person to be that passive-aggressive (with an old woman anyway) so I would probably just tell her to mind her own bloody business -erhm… I mean; I'd tell her that I wanted to do something different with the garden, perhaps even that I don't like geraniums.

 

[Finn]

If she keeps asking about those fish, tell them you had Grilled Koi the other night.

 

[Rii]

No what you say is: "Oh that was fish pond? I thought those were for eating...tasty little suckers too, went great with a little cocktail sauce."

Option #3: Miss C gathers her cat in her arms and gently strokes its fur whilst looking on with an innocent expression.

 

[Miss Chicken]

She won't redirect her mail for two reasons

1) She says she is 'living on faith'. I gather this means that she is living for a few weeks with one of people from her church and then moving on and living with another member.She has told me she hasn't been getting unemployed benefits because if she does the government expects her to try for a whole range of jobs and she is an 'artist' and she wants to concentrate on that, this means she cannot afford to rent a place.

2) I think she is deeply in debt and doesn't want her creditors to know where so is. She certainly gets what looks like bills in her mail.

About the fish - the neigbour told me that one of the men cleaning up the yard took them away in a bucket saying he knew of a good home for them. I haven't told Elaine that (as the neighbour didn't tell me until after Elaine had complained about the fishpond). According to the neighbour Elaine also left her cat behind. My neighbour fed it for a few weeks until she found it a home.

 

[Lookingglassman]

Tell her to go to the post office to give them her forwarding address and then tell her to get lost.

 

[hellsgate]

Get literature on mail-redirection services, hand them to her, slam the door in her face, deadbolt the door, call the police, get a restraining order.

 

[Timewalker]

In that case, she obviously knows that she abandoned her pet (evil woman! ). So tell her that you considered her geraniums abandoned and found them a new home, same as with the rest of the stuff there you don't want.

And how hard is it to arrange some kind of mail drop? Is all her mail bills?

 

[Holdfast]

She won't redirect her mail for two reasons

1) She says she is 'living on faith'. I gather this means that she is living for a few weeks with one of people from her church and then moving on and living with another member.She has told me she hasn't been getting unemployed benefits because if she does the government expects her to try for a whole range of jobs and she is an 'artist' and she wants to concentrate on that, this means she cannot afford to rent a place.

2) I think she is deeply in debt and doesn't want her creditors to know where so is. She certainly gets what looks like bills in her mail.

Just tell her to go away then. Also, put "return to sender, not known at this address" on all her mail and post it back, so they stop sending you the stuff in the first place. Tell her you're doing this, just before telling her to go away. That removes her excuse for visiting you.

None of this is your problem, AND you're feeling hassled by it. Why are you putting yourself through this?

Finally, if they're bills & she stops paying them, eventually YOU will get a visit from the bailiffs, since you're her last known address. If you're in, you'll be able to tell them they've got the wrong person, but what if they come when you're out or they just don't listen? Telling everyone who's sending her bills that she's no longer living her by posting stuff back will at least minimise the chances of this happening.

 

[SeerSGB]

Get literature on mail-redirection services, hand them to her, slam the door in her face, deadbolt the door, call the police, get a restraining order.

Or arrange for her to "come get her bills" and have reps. from bill collectors standing there waiting for her.

 

[iguana_tonante]

1) She says she is 'living on faith'.

 

[Miss Chicken]

None of this is your problem, AND you're feeling hassled by it. Why are you putting yourself through this?

As I said I find it hard to ne impolite.

I don't get as many letters now that I feel are bills because I have sent so many back.

I had a hard time convincing the Electoral Office that she was no longer living here. She received two letters from the Electoral Office and I sent them back 'address unknown' and then I received a letter from them address to occupants of 'my address". I opened that and it asked if Elaine and her son still lived at that address. I had to fill in the form saying "No". This is despite the fact that my son and I had already filled out our change of address forms for the Ekectoral Office. Then last week I had a man from the Electoral Office come out and asked me to confirm who was living in the house. Voting is compulsory in Australia so the Electoral Office is strict about Changes of Address.

Two days before Christmas, Elaime arrived and asked if I had any Christmas cards for her. I had returned most of them to the sender and she said she thought I would keep them for her.

 

[Miss Chicken]

1) She says she is 'living on faith'.

I have a better description of it - bludging off others.

 

[Jadzia]

I know I should really just tell this woman to stay away but I find it hard to be impolite.

What would you do in my place?

Normally, I am sympathetic and tolerant of the work others have done on my property before it is my property. Knowing that if I was in the reverse position, how would I feel about somebody pulling up my garden effort, even though I had moved house, and I didn't own it anymore, I'd feel that my efforts were being undone, which wouldn't feel very nice.

Imagine if it were a garden where the previous occupant had spent every weekend tending to their now 30 year old rose bushes, that they had cultivated by hand from bulbs. And they move house, and somebody new moves in, and rips all that out. I imagine it would be quite disheartening to someone who had been so devoted.

So this is why I am sympathetic and tolerant over efforts like this. It's understandable if her garden was a labour of love for her. And whatever others may think of that garden, it meant something to her.

But as time passes, after I'd settled in, I'd feel more comfortable making changes. If the previous occupant complained to me about the changes I'd made, I'd say something like I've said above, and politely remark,

"You've had your xx years of pleasure from this garden, planting the flowers you like, where you like them. Now it is my turn, to have xx years of pleasure from it, planting the flowers I like, where I like them."

 

[auntiehill]

As I said I find it hard to ne impolite.

^ You don't have to be impolite. Just say NOTHING.

Hand her a change of address card, say "Please (please is polite, right?) don't come by here again. This is no longer your house."

Turn your back, shut the door. End of story.

 

[Holdfast]

1) She says she is 'living on faith'.

I have a better description of it - bludging off others.

Including you, it seems.

Like it or not, she just needs to be told.

 

[Marc]

Imagine if it were a garden where the previous occupant had spent every weekend tending to their now 30 year old rose bushes, that they had cultivated by hand from bulbs. And they move house, and somebody new moves in, and rips all that out. I imagine it would be quite disheartening to someone who had been so devoted.

except in this case the garden wasn't maintained so it's like there there was a lot of effort being torn out.