TNG Caption This #150 - "Contains Mild Holo-peril"

[Piper]

When Mr Worf went on holiday Riker volunteered to take over his station, only to endanger the whole ship when he couldn't read the Klingon language pack Worf had installed.

The first season uniforms were infamously tight.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: I can't make heads or tails of this. I was trained on QWERTY.

Simon's a computer, Simon has a brain, you either do what Simon says or else go down the drain.

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Red Alert!
Picard: Report Number One.
Riker: Facebook reports that we have just been poked Captain!

Picard: How many of my ex-girlfriends are beaming up Number One?

 

[Triskelion]

Will, I, um...called Beverly....
What?
In the heat of the moment...
C'mon what, Captain? The B word? W? A DC?
Ro.
Uh oh. Yeah, she doesn't like that one.

It's an El-Aurian freighter, Captain. With a shipment of hats.
Arm torpedoes, Number One.

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Picard made a mental note to himself to have Mr. Worf's "Cats in a Blender" deleted from the ship's playlist.

 

[Mistral]

This was the day Picard decided to switch from Klingon coffee to Earl Grey tea. He figured he'd broken enough teeth...

 

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "My favorite Batman '60s TV show bad guy? Egghead. Why?"
<Riker snickers.>

Riker: "<sniffs> Smells like either a dead dog or a Klingon up here ..."

 

[Alrik]

Riker:"Captain, its a hail from the shuttle returning from Starbase 214 with Wesley onboard."

Picard: "Um....helm......any course. Warp factor 9. Engage!"

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

"First Officer's Log: Spent another three hours attempting to change course using only the power of my mind. Still no luck."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Bridge to transporter room 2...did my Barbasol and moisturizer survive the beam-up?"

"I can't make head or tails of this.

We should REALLY tell Starfleet to start investing in actual readouts and ditch these flat transparencies."

 

[cooleddie74]

"No. No, no, there are no problems here, Admiral Quinn!

The Belzoidian flea infestation? Just an unfortunate rumor!"

 

[Alrik]

Riker: "It's this Vista sir, it keeps locking up. Are you sure we can't just re-install XP?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Damn Windows '98.

It's taking me FOREVER to upload my Powerpoint presentation for the senior staff briefing!"

 

[Alrik]

Picard: "G-G-Geordi. Ch-Ch-Check the env-v-viromental c-c-controls. Its f-f-freezing up here!"

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Picard thought he could win the 2365 Enterprise Crew Talent Competition with his Truman Capote impression.



He was wrong.

 

[Alrik]

Riker: "Okay. It says next move, right foot blue."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Before the intervention, Captain Picard was the ship's biggest crackhead.

 

[Honorable Ensign]

First: Offscreen Picard: Riker, I need shields!
Riker: Hold on, I've almost beat your time on Minesweeper.

Second: At first, Picard planned to enjoy the Invisible Fruit of Obprank 5.

 

[Lashmore]

"I'm trying to raise shields captain, but I have to wait for automatic updates!"

"Anytime now, number one. The Linux cruiser is coming about"

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Someone remind me. Was Wes in or out of the airlock when we blew the hatch?