of 11 posts with a join date of December 29, 2008? Unless this is a poster with a new name or something...
I have a personal issue that I have been struggling with
- Thread starter GraysonMichael
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of 11 posts with a join date of December 29, 2008? Unless this is a poster with a new name or something...
Chess Piece Face, I know guys who have dated less than Grayson. True.
Grayson. I agree with a poster above: write her as sincere a letter as you can, explain your feelings ,and that if she can't respond to those feelings, then it's time to call a halt to the friendship, at the very least until you can find someone who does feel about you the way you feel about them. The friendship is just going to fill you and make it hard to fit anything else in.
And an aside: if it's a relationship you want, keep in mind sometimes there are possibly girls around you that have deep feelings for you but won't make the first move. I've seen this several times. Keep your mind open to the possibilities.
Grayson. I agree with a poster above: write her as sincere a letter as you can, explain your feelings ,and that if she can't respond to those feelings, then it's time to call a halt to the friendship, at the very least until you can find someone who does feel about you the way you feel about them. The friendship is just going to fill you and make it hard to fit anything else in.
And an aside: if it's a relationship you want, keep in mind sometimes there are possibly girls around you that have deep feelings for you but won't make the first move. I've seen this several times. Keep your mind open to the possibilities.
Is it worth it to you to call him out? What if it's not fake? Then you've just added on to the crap this person has to deal with. And if it is, so what? Does that hurt you in some way?
It's not unlikely that his parents died in a car crash in Memphis and he was mugged on campus. I personally know of two people who were mugged on campus, not to mention the semi-famous story now of the football player who was shot and killed on campus of the University of Memphis. Further, a guy who hung out briefly at an organization that I frequented when I went to school there and who I actually met and spoke with turned out to be wanted for raping and torturing a girl for something like 40 hours. He was chased by the police around campus and ended up stabbing himself in the neck with a writing pen. I think he lived. All of the above happened in the 4 years I went to school there. It is not outside the realm of possibility for the OP to be mugged on that campus. And Memphis drivers are absolutely terrible. I'm not at all surprised his parents were killed in a crash there. Take away those two aspects of his story (which, again, are not really that unlikely) and you have a story about a guy whose high school sweetheart was killed in a car crash and is in love with a girl who has not returned the feeling.
OP, I'm sorry for what's happened to you. I'm sending good thoughts your way and hoping things improve for you.
CaptainHawk1
Commodore
I hate to be cynical about this, but it does sound fake.
Honestly, it sounds like a Nicholas Sparks novel.
All of this is far too tidy and melodramatic.
Another thing, everyone is so quick to accept this story without verifying the most easily verifiable part of the story: the recent alleged mugging.
I did an exhaustive search and could find no references to the circumstances he described.
As for whether it not it hurts anyone if the OP is lying, it certainly does. This community even with all of its in-fighting survives because people are honest with their opinions and when someone calls out for help and advice and is just making shit up, it diminishes the chance for the next guy who actually needs advice of actually getting advice.
Your anecdotal references to your experiences are irrelevant because they have nothing to do with this specific situation. Lots of bad things happen on college campuses, so what? How does that validate his claim?
So the way it looks to me right now is that we either have a very delusional and lonely guy with some deep emotional issues or we have a guy writing a novel and he's too lazy to finish chapter two by himself or simply doesn't have the ability. Whatever his motivations, the story seems very transparent.
I've also noticed no responses since the OP and the explanation of the formatting issues.
It's suspect, to say the least.
-Shawn
EDIT: The first time around I missed the throw-away line about the parents being killed by the driver who ran the red light but I did some research on that as well and could find NOTHING. Much like five-man at gunpoint mugging and beatings, fatal car accidents ALWAYS make the news.
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I'm willing to give just about anybody the benefit of the doubt, and I'm willing to give you one free pass. This Post was Flaming and this time you get a Friendly-- next time will be a Warning.
CaptainHawk1
Commodore
I'm just curious as to understanding what constitutes flaming: is it the whole quote including the shenanigans bit or is it just the obvious part where he calls the the guy a loon?
-Shawn
^^ Just the "loon" part. 
Disagree, epic fail with the letter, repeat, *epic fail*. Don't be a Luke Skywalker. Be Han Solo, you must. You have communicated the wavelength you're on. She is not on that wavelength. You can proceed to try and date her, but not with a heavy trip, that is repelling. That's a tall order if you're going through a lot of grieving and heavy stuff. You might not be able to have a relationship, like her, only just not aware of it. You maybe need a friend more than a girlfriend. You have to work through your own process with it. A powerful romance would indeed be like an emotional salve from all that suffering, but that in itself isn't terribly romantic, especially for the other person.
Having suffered some deep losses, a time of deep introspection is needed, be it by counselling, religious work, etc. If you do get to see Jane, try and make it for fun stuff & activities. And don't bring up relationship stuff again unless she does.
CaptainHawk1
Commodore
Huh???
Buying this story, you are still?Where you at, GraysonMichael ? Dispell my misconceptions.
-Shawn
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I don't know if this guy's story is true or not. He does say he tried to give a concise account as possible, which means he left stuff out or condensed alot of material. I am assuming that he has had more experience around women that just two. The difference here is he said he only really cared about two, which means he may not have made a connection with other women he came in contact with. We all have experienced loss and sometimes it takes a while to come across that same kind of "love."
And let's face it, this is a cruel world sometimes. Crap happens and we can't control when it happens. I have a friend who returned from Iraqi that lost his wife while he was gone. Then after he returned he was in our local mall when some fool attacked him in the bathroom and stabbed in three times in the back because he "supported the Bush Doctrine." Luckily he survived. But my point in saying all this is.....it is not so far fetched that his guy lost two people that he cared about, lost his parents in a car accident, and then himself was attacked.
As far as not finding evidence about this guy's story, I can only say that events slip through the cracks. Does the news make a report about every Tom, Dick, and Harry that gets killed or mugged? I will give this guy the benefit of the doubt.
And let's face it, this is a cruel world sometimes. Crap happens and we can't control when it happens. I have a friend who returned from Iraqi that lost his wife while he was gone. Then after he returned he was in our local mall when some fool attacked him in the bathroom and stabbed in three times in the back because he "supported the Bush Doctrine." Luckily he survived. But my point in saying all this is.....it is not so far fetched that his guy lost two people that he cared about, lost his parents in a car accident, and then himself was attacked.
As far as not finding evidence about this guy's story, I can only say that events slip through the cracks. Does the news make a report about every Tom, Dick, and Harry that gets killed or mugged? I will give this guy the benefit of the doubt.
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CaptainHawk1
Commodore
And you've made the same mistake in logic that Captain Obvious made. Your friend's circumstances are irrelevant in regards to the validity of the OP's claims. Of course, "shit happens." But simply because shit does happen, it can't logically lead you to the conclusion that it did happen to the OP.
Didn't anyone take critical thinking in College?
Yes, they do when it's as sensational as he explained it. 5 guys at gunpoint, on a college campus who not only robbed but beat him and left him for dead? Yes, that's going to make the news.
I live in Las Vegas a city with a population about 3 - 4 times what Memphis' is (depending on what area you're counting) and that would certainly make the news here.
So would the fatal accident.
And it would make the TV news, not just the local newpaper.
Also, I didn't just check the news stories, I checked police blotters... Nothing.
Regardless, you're making assumptions about what's newsworthy when you know nothing about the porcess.
Well, I do and just to make sure that I was correct, I contacted my cousin who until a couple of years ago was a newspaper reporter in Upstate NY and I asked him what he thought about A.) the story and B.) whether or not the two claims indicated would be newsworthy and he confirmed that they certainly would for exactly the reasons I noted. He also indicated that in his professional opinion, the story looked contrived and the fact that you can't find a single mention of any of the circumstances he's indicated occurring in the past three months makes it look even less credible.
Take that for what it's worth.
But seriously, use a little common sense. Does that story really seem credible?
It's a flippin Harlequin.
-Shawn
^ I am honestly not trying to pick a fight. I am new to this board and want to make as many friends as possible. Obviously you believe this GraysonMichael to be untruthful. When I read this post I felt bad for the guy. If he is not telling the truth, then I pity a person who has to get on a website and invent a story to get sympathy from people. But on the chance he is telling the truth, then I have compassion for his situation. That is all I am saying. I have no words of wisdom to comfort him. But I do feel bad and wish someone in his situation the very best. Heartache is a very difficult thing to move past.
If you don't believe the guy's story the don't post and mock others. Seems pretty simple to me. It's not like he's saying he had sex with his cousin.
Anyhow, I have to echo theadvice said earlier on- it's time to move on. Tough, I know, but it's what you have to do.
Anyhow, I have to echo theadvice said earlier on- it's time to move on. Tough, I know, but it's what you have to do.
Why do you care? Obviously, there are people who are willing to give this Poster the benefit of the doubt on the chance that there's a Human Being out there who needs some sympathy and compassion. It's rather a pity that you find this so bothersome. Personally, I think it's worth it.
You've got two different words going on there---"date" and "interact". Totally different parts of the spectrum. In the last 10 years I've interacted with scores of girls, appreciated at a distance (in an ongoing sense) maybe a dozen, spent nontrivial amounts of 1-on-1 time with 4 (if you only count those where I thought something could happen), and dated (in the sense that we both understood a date was taking place) none.
Some people just aren't the dating type.
"But even if it is true, then the original poster is clearly a loon who has only dated 2 girls in like 10 years or something, but they were both beautiful? Come on. I just can't buy it."
I am going to take issue with this point and I may be splitting hairs here. To him the girls are beautiful. For example, I dated someone who I thought was extremely beautiful and I had some people say why are you with her because she did not look like a model on TV. The term "beautiful" is in the eye of the beholder.
"Even the nerdiest loser alive would interact with more girls than that, especially if he "ran every single day" because at the very least, he would have a decent physique."
As I stated in a few posts earlier, I can't imagine this guy not having been on a double date or a "set up" through his friends. And if so, then he may not have felt a connection with the girls he was set up with. Another example, I have been set up on "dates" and after a night or two I didn't think we were a good match. And to be honest I have been interested in 10 girls or so in my life time (27 years for what it is worth) and of those 10 I only truly and deeply cared about 1, and she was extremely tough to get over. So in a way I can sympathize with this guys issues.
I am going to take issue with this point and I may be splitting hairs here. To him the girls are beautiful. For example, I dated someone who I thought was extremely beautiful and I had some people say why are you with her because she did not look like a model on TV. The term "beautiful" is in the eye of the beholder.
"Even the nerdiest loser alive would interact with more girls than that, especially if he "ran every single day" because at the very least, he would have a decent physique."
As I stated in a few posts earlier, I can't imagine this guy not having been on a double date or a "set up" through his friends. And if so, then he may not have felt a connection with the girls he was set up with. Another example, I have been set up on "dates" and after a night or two I didn't think we were a good match. And to be honest I have been interested in 10 girls or so in my life time (27 years for what it is worth) and of those 10 I only truly and deeply cared about 1, and she was extremely tough to get over. So in a way I can sympathize with this guys issues.
Bingo.
CaptainHawk1
Commodore
Because I don't like liars and as I've said before I don't appreciate the compassion of other people on this board (which is genuine) being taken advantage of by an amateur romance novel writer.
Why do you care that I care? I'm allowed to have an opinion and express how foolish I believe it is to take claims like this at face value especially when you have verifiable facts right in the OP's OP that can't be verified.
I will ask this again: If this is legitimate, why hasn't the OP commented since the OP? He's been called out multiple times and won't respond. Doesn't anyone find it a little curious that there are absolutely no specifics regarding his education, area of study, school name or any other details other than "Memphis" as being the location where his parents were killed and where he got mugged? I'll be the first one to admit I'm wrong, if he can validate any of his claims with any credibility but until then, this should be considered nonsense.
It's a rather a pity that so many people in this thread apparently are missing something in their lives so deeply that they throw their skepticism out the window in favor of this fiction that makes them feel important to be involved with. My God, you folks want to believe so bad that you're giving this guy credibility as a poster based on 4 weeks of being registered and 11 posts! Talk about cognitive dissonance. I'd suggest that if you don't trust the facts that I've pointed out about the lack of evidence to support his claims that you look them up yourself but I guess that won't happen because you folks really do want to believe. Keep this in mind: any advice given to him is just going to be given to his publisher.
But of course, it's always been easier and more inherent to human nature to embrace irrational emotion than reasoned logic.
So I shall stand by my position that this is indeed shenanigans whether you or anyone else likes it or not until he's willing to prove otherwise.
-Shawn
CaptainHawk1
Commodore
No reason to qualify, and this isn't personal. You have your opinion and I have mine.
It's of course natural to have compassion for someone who spills their guts like that but when the facts don't add up, the appropriate thing to do is to take a step back and be skeptical. When I first read it, I felt the same way as everyone else but then a lot of the posts started making reevaluate and that's when I noticed that things didn't make sense and decoded to do research.
If you read my first post, you should notice that I suggested that if he is lying (as I believe he is) that he's either delusional and emotionally unstable or he's an aspiring novelist. The former would deserve pity, the latter would not.
-Shawn
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