TOS Caption Contest #112 - Come Here Often?

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: I'd go with the fastball.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Throw under.

That way Bones'll never see it coming."

 

[cooleddie74]

REDSHIRT OFFICER:"Hey, look fellas...

It's Gerbil Jim Kirk! Have a seat...if you can."

 

[Outpost4]

REDSHIRT OFFICER:"Hey, look fellas...

It's Gerbil Jim Kirk! Have a seat...if you can."

GOLDSHIRT OFFICER: "How's your tribble hanging?"
<both guffaw - McCoy stiffles a laugh>

 

[M'Sharak]

Anglo-Saxon Tribble, faintly: "The Russian one ... he does ... terrible things ... terrible, sexual things ... with us ..."

"Chekov."
<all turn>
" ... "
<all turn back>

 

[tharpdevenport]

Spock: "Curious ... it smells like Mr. Sulu's ass."

Uhura: "But how would you..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: ""Outlook hazy?' 'Ask again?'"

 

[Shatmandu]

Command Officer: "Hey, it's Jim Kirk. How's your yeoman? Still pregnant?"
Kirk: "Yeah. How's your wife? Still bowlegged?"

 

[Shatmandu]

White Tribble, faintly: "Spock! Spock! It's me, Captain Kirk! My consciousness has somehow been transfered into this creature, and ..."
<Spock pulls back, looks at the white Tribble, then looks at "Kirk.">
<Spock then raises an eyebrow and squeezes the white Tribble to death.>

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Spock: Mine are softer.

Sulu; [ offscreen] "Mine are shaved"

(The cast then Vomits)

McCoy: "What's that you have there my kind sir?"
Bar keep: "Well I met this entity, fro some continuim, he must of been deaf, it a 12' piano and a 12" ..."
McCoy: "Ah you poor Bastard come by my office.."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: He makes me happy. I think, I shall call him Zoloft.

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk (to himself): Spock is sexually active once every seven years. A tribble is born pregnant. This will never work out.

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "How did Mister Sulu's codpiece get into this rec room?"
<all turn>
Spock: "Oy."

 

[Shatmandu]

Bartender: "Mistress Spankums? Yeah, I'll get her ..."

Kirk: "Can you have the DJ play 'We Built This City' for me? It's my favorite classical song."

 

[DrBob]

Kirk: "A snowball!?"
Spock: "Correct. Scraped the back of the fridge."
Kirk: "Excellent. Fire at will."

Will: "Whuh?"

Spock: "Klingon... spitball!"
<squelch>

Carl: "Rollin' a fat one. A reeeaaall fat one."

Kirk: "So DJ, do you do requests?"
DJ: "No, feck off!"

Kirk: "Aww c'mon... play this..." <slides a cheap badly scratched CD-R towards him>

 

[Triskelion]

Spock: Apologies for interrupting, gentlemen. Lieutenant Uhura, I've located your starboard silicon implant.
Uhura: Well thank God for that Spock, I can sit up straight again.

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Captain, other than the literal reading, does the phrase 'eat shit and die' have a colloquial meaning?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

]

SPOCK: I will hug him and squeeze him and call him George

SPOCK (sighs): It stop making pretty noise.

KIRK: Next time don't shake it.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Nice disco jacket, Barkeep...

What...did Station K-7 have a fire sale on bad civilian wardrobes?"

 

[cooleddie74]

FREEMAN:"That's been in my ass.

You DO know that...right?"