Pitch terrible ideas for episodes
- Thread starter Newspaper Taxi
- Start date
or someplace in particular 
Put down the akoonah Scorpio!
{re Q The Music: thanks Forbin!}
{re Q The Music: thanks Forbin!}
A-Choo-Choo-Moya (VOY):
When Naomi Wildman's Flotter holoprogram is accidentally erased by a absentminded Neelix, Chakotay is coaxed in to making her a new program starring himself as the whimsical tattooed conductor of a train nicknamed Moya trying to reach its home station of Earth. As they power up the often temperamental Quantum Slipsteam Engine, Chakotay dispenses the sage wisdom of the rails and teaches Naomi about foxes and scorpions and other things that she might realize were metaphors had she not been hallucinating from standing next to the coal-fire core for three hours. Can they brave the treacherous Northwest Passage around Borg Mountain? Can they do it with the holodeck safeties off? Because you know that's bound to happen at some point.
For a Few Tribbles More (ENT):
Returning to the western-like planet Northstar now that The Expanse has collapsed, the crew of Enterprise plan to restock the colony and give it communications systems capable of connecting with Earth. Phlox flies down to the planet in a shuttlecraft in an attempt to introduce new livestock animals for the inhabitants, but a passing ion storm causes the shuttle to crash. A Tribble used as food for one of the larger animals is thrown free by the crash and becomes fuzed by the raging ion storm with a passing tumbleweed. Within a matter of 24 hours, the colony is swamped by hundreds of rapidly breeding Tribbles of Unusual Size (T.O.U.S.s) rolling in the wind and feeding on the hapless colonists like so much Quadrotriticale grain.
There Are Four Disco Lights! (TNG):
Picard, still suffering the after-effects of his torture at the hands of Gul Madred, is transported by a "helpful" Q into Earth's late-1970s where he's a dancer under contract with the evil Mafia night club owner Gil Madretti. All Picard wants to do is dance the mambo, but Gil will have none of that, brutally forcing him to dance disco under the heat of four lights, telling him he'll have to keep dancing until he admits that there are in fact five disco lights. Picard, exhausted and on the verge of Saturday Night Fever, is about to give in... Will he resist? Will he live to embarassingly dance the mambo again? Will he thank Q for helping him even though he put him through Hell throughout the entire episode?
The Googling (TOS Remastered & Reimagined):
On a mission to save Earth's future by changing its past, Kirk travels back in time to 2012 to stop the newly self-aware Google from conquering humanity. After being distracted time and again by searching for "Naked Green Chicks" with safe search off, Kirk finally formulates a plan. He tells Google to Google itself, and the subsequent logic bomb causes an overload that collapses the internet. Hundreds of millions of nerds, suddenly free of the internet teat, venture out into the real world and invent things like warp drive, impulse, and inertial dampeners. Unfortunately, they also later start WWIII after an out of control D&D game between Warlock Clan and the Eastern Coalition, but the aftermath brings about an age of enlightenment for humanity.
Look Who's Captaining (DS9):
The explosion of the USS Valiant causes a temporal loop that sends the dead crew remaining aboard back in time to five days before the attack. However, in a twist, the crew have all been reverted to talking infants by chronoplotometric particles. Once again, in defiance of all logic, the captain decides to take on the Dominion battleship instead of returning to Federation space with his infantile crew. Baby Jake and Nog stage a comedic mutiny that will tug at your heartstrings by transporting dirty diapers onto the bridge.
When Naomi Wildman's Flotter holoprogram is accidentally erased by a absentminded Neelix, Chakotay is coaxed in to making her a new program starring himself as the whimsical tattooed conductor of a train nicknamed Moya trying to reach its home station of Earth. As they power up the often temperamental Quantum Slipsteam Engine, Chakotay dispenses the sage wisdom of the rails and teaches Naomi about foxes and scorpions and other things that she might realize were metaphors had she not been hallucinating from standing next to the coal-fire core for three hours. Can they brave the treacherous Northwest Passage around Borg Mountain? Can they do it with the holodeck safeties off? Because you know that's bound to happen at some point.
For a Few Tribbles More (ENT):
Returning to the western-like planet Northstar now that The Expanse has collapsed, the crew of Enterprise plan to restock the colony and give it communications systems capable of connecting with Earth. Phlox flies down to the planet in a shuttlecraft in an attempt to introduce new livestock animals for the inhabitants, but a passing ion storm causes the shuttle to crash. A Tribble used as food for one of the larger animals is thrown free by the crash and becomes fuzed by the raging ion storm with a passing tumbleweed. Within a matter of 24 hours, the colony is swamped by hundreds of rapidly breeding Tribbles of Unusual Size (T.O.U.S.s) rolling in the wind and feeding on the hapless colonists like so much Quadrotriticale grain.
There Are Four Disco Lights! (TNG):
Picard, still suffering the after-effects of his torture at the hands of Gul Madred, is transported by a "helpful" Q into Earth's late-1970s where he's a dancer under contract with the evil Mafia night club owner Gil Madretti. All Picard wants to do is dance the mambo, but Gil will have none of that, brutally forcing him to dance disco under the heat of four lights, telling him he'll have to keep dancing until he admits that there are in fact five disco lights. Picard, exhausted and on the verge of Saturday Night Fever, is about to give in... Will he resist? Will he live to embarassingly dance the mambo again? Will he thank Q for helping him even though he put him through Hell throughout the entire episode?
The Googling (TOS Remastered & Reimagined):
On a mission to save Earth's future by changing its past, Kirk travels back in time to 2012 to stop the newly self-aware Google from conquering humanity. After being distracted time and again by searching for "Naked Green Chicks" with safe search off, Kirk finally formulates a plan. He tells Google to Google itself, and the subsequent logic bomb causes an overload that collapses the internet. Hundreds of millions of nerds, suddenly free of the internet teat, venture out into the real world and invent things like warp drive, impulse, and inertial dampeners. Unfortunately, they also later start WWIII after an out of control D&D game between Warlock Clan and the Eastern Coalition, but the aftermath brings about an age of enlightenment for humanity.
Look Who's Captaining (DS9):
The explosion of the USS Valiant causes a temporal loop that sends the dead crew remaining aboard back in time to five days before the attack. However, in a twist, the crew have all been reverted to talking infants by chronoplotometric particles. Once again, in defiance of all logic, the captain decides to take on the Dominion battleship instead of returning to Federation space with his infantile crew. Baby Jake and Nog stage a comedic mutiny that will tug at your heartstrings by transporting dirty diapers onto the bridge.
"Q.E.D." (TNG)
Q present his final conclusion in the trial of mankind, firmly demonstrating his hypothesis that we suck.
"Missed Q" (VGR)
Q kidnaps Janeway, still hoping for nooky. Voyager, with chuckles in command, continually homes in on their location just as Q shifts them elsewhere.
"Thank Q" (DS9)
Q does a good deed for Sisco!
"Too Qute for Words" (TNG)
Olivia D'Abo returns as Amanda Q.
"To the Head of the Q" (VGR)
Q creates an illusion where Kim is next in line for the captaincy.
"The Q Forms to the Left" (DS9)
Q uses a the Orb in the Bajoran temple to manifest his presence as a joke, and all the Bajorans on the station line up to see the miracle.
"Qpee Doll" (VGR)
In order to help Naomi Wildman get over her mother's disappearance (srsly, where the fuck did she go?), Q assumes the shape of a talking baby doll.
"Right On Q" (TNG)
Every single time Riker is about to score with a hot chick, Q shows up to cockblock him.
...
Q present his final conclusion in the trial of mankind, firmly demonstrating his hypothesis that we suck.
"Missed Q" (VGR)
Q kidnaps Janeway, still hoping for nooky. Voyager, with chuckles in command, continually homes in on their location just as Q shifts them elsewhere.
"Thank Q" (DS9)
Q does a good deed for Sisco!
"Too Qute for Words" (TNG)
Olivia D'Abo returns as Amanda Q.
"To the Head of the Q" (VGR)
Q creates an illusion where Kim is next in line for the captaincy.
"The Q Forms to the Left" (DS9)
Q uses a the Orb in the Bajoran temple to manifest his presence as a joke, and all the Bajorans on the station line up to see the miracle.
"Qpee Doll" (VGR)
In order to help Naomi Wildman get over her mother's disappearance (srsly, where the fuck did she go?), Q assumes the shape of a talking baby doll.
"Right On Q" (TNG)
Every single time Riker is about to score with a hot chick, Q shows up to cockblock him.
...
"The Doomsday Asteroid" (TNG)
An ep that features the girl from the episode "Distaster" who was temporarily Picard's XO.
Marissa Flores sucessfully plays the imaginary holosuite game where you pretend to send non-existent people to their unreal deaths and just like Troi, she is automatically qualified for starship command and promoted to Commander.
The main cast senior officers all go on shore leave leaving Commander Flores in command of the Enterprise. A distress call comes in from her favoritest planet in the whole galaxy, the shopping mall planet. A huge massive asteroid is on course to impact the shopping mall planet so Commander Flores must come to the rescue and find a way to divert the asteroid and save her favoritest planet in the whole galaxy.
Robert
An ep that features the girl from the episode "Distaster" who was temporarily Picard's XO.
Marissa Flores sucessfully plays the imaginary holosuite game where you pretend to send non-existent people to their unreal deaths and just like Troi, she is automatically qualified for starship command and promoted to Commander.
The main cast senior officers all go on shore leave leaving Commander Flores in command of the Enterprise. A distress call comes in from her favoritest planet in the whole galaxy, the shopping mall planet. A huge massive asteroid is on course to impact the shopping mall planet so Commander Flores must come to the rescue and find a way to divert the asteroid and save her favoritest planet in the whole galaxy.
Robert
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The Guest (ENT)
Despondent and bored because they hadn't found a planet with life on it in weeks, the crew is delighted to find a ship broken down and adrift in space. On the ship are two individuals, a man and a woman (played by a blond with no acting skills). Archer agrees to help them repair their ship and sends Trip over to help them. The blond goes aboard the Enterprise and tells Archer that, to repay them, she will have sex with every crew member. Archer decides that this can't happen and bans the crew from having sex with her, even though T'Pol argues that he shouldn't because it violates her customs. While the ship is being repaired, Archer tries desperately to avoid her advances. At the same time, Reed gets stuck in an air vent while trying to sneak into the blond's room and fulfill her wish. He has to discretely ask Hoshi to help him, but she quickly figures out why he is in the air vent and leaves him there. Eventually, the repairs get completed. The aliens leave and Archer is surprised to learn that the blond is no longer upset that no one will have sex with her. After they leave, however, it is revealed that T'Pol slept with her "to fulfill the alien culture's customs"
Despondent and bored because they hadn't found a planet with life on it in weeks, the crew is delighted to find a ship broken down and adrift in space. On the ship are two individuals, a man and a woman (played by a blond with no acting skills). Archer agrees to help them repair their ship and sends Trip over to help them. The blond goes aboard the Enterprise and tells Archer that, to repay them, she will have sex with every crew member. Archer decides that this can't happen and bans the crew from having sex with her, even though T'Pol argues that he shouldn't because it violates her customs. While the ship is being repaired, Archer tries desperately to avoid her advances. At the same time, Reed gets stuck in an air vent while trying to sneak into the blond's room and fulfill her wish. He has to discretely ask Hoshi to help him, but she quickly figures out why he is in the air vent and leaves him there. Eventually, the repairs get completed. The aliens leave and Archer is surprised to learn that the blond is no longer upset that no one will have sex with her. After they leave, however, it is revealed that T'Pol slept with her "to fulfill the alien culture's customs"
"Second Contact" (feature film)
Following the events of the film Star Trek: First Contact, the Enterprise, while returning to the 24th century, is diverted to the 20th century of a parallel universe by a powerful time traveler called Kang the Conquerer. There, they encounter the super-powered mutants named the X-Men, and assist them in fighting Kang's plan to remake the timelines of every known universe. If these two groups of heroes fail – history itself will change forever!
Excerpts of copyrighted sources are included for review purposes only, without any intention of infringement.
Following the events of the film Star Trek: First Contact, the Enterprise, while returning to the 24th century, is diverted to the 20th century of a parallel universe by a powerful time traveler called Kang the Conquerer. There, they encounter the super-powered mutants named the X-Men, and assist them in fighting Kang's plan to remake the timelines of every known universe. If these two groups of heroes fail – history itself will change forever!
Excerpts of copyrighted sources are included for review purposes only, without any intention of infringement.
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All Seeing Eye
Admiral
Hmmmmm, sounds familiar. But I can't quite put my finger on where i've heard stuff like that before.
Mo Money- Star Trek:TNG
After receiving a Priority 1 distress call from Fereginar, the Federation sends the Enterprise to investigate. Picard is disturbed to find that the Ferengi commercial system has fallen on Sub Prime Latinum, a credit system of Ferengi loans that were re-sold to the Romulans who then repackaged them in bottles of Romulan Ale, then sold to the Cardassians who preferred kanar, who repackaged it the Klingons as Warrior Loans, who then bathlethed them to the Pakleds who had no idea how to pay them off as they werent sure how to make them go. The Ferengi wish the Federation to bail them out by replicating Latinum, but Picard gives them a speech on the futility of replicating Latinum which is not always successfull, and that federation citizens should not bail out unsuccessful Damons.
Picard leaves with him telling the Grand Negus they will return when they change there economic system.
After receiving a Priority 1 distress call from Fereginar, the Federation sends the Enterprise to investigate. Picard is disturbed to find that the Ferengi commercial system has fallen on Sub Prime Latinum, a credit system of Ferengi loans that were re-sold to the Romulans who then repackaged them in bottles of Romulan Ale, then sold to the Cardassians who preferred kanar, who repackaged it the Klingons as Warrior Loans, who then bathlethed them to the Pakleds who had no idea how to pay them off as they werent sure how to make them go. The Ferengi wish the Federation to bail them out by replicating Latinum, but Picard gives them a speech on the futility of replicating Latinum which is not always successfull, and that federation citizens should not bail out unsuccessful Damons.
Picard leaves with him telling the Grand Negus they will return when they change there economic system.
The story of the only Ferengi military officer to ever master the Earth game of baseball:
"Johnny DaiMon".
"Johnny DaiMon".
DS9-In an effort to rig his gaming tables even more, Quark purchases a bunch of nanites. Somehow they get into the holosuites during a customer's "romp". Then they migrate into the stations computer, causing the computer to forever after sound suggestive. "Oh, you know you like to push my buttons., Yeah baby, right there. Ooooooh yes!
TNG-Picard somehow gets a "tribble" for a birthday present, which forever after lives on his head. Spot goes missing and Data thinks that Picard may have something to do with the cat's disappearance.
TOS-Spock attempts a mindmeld with the Alien Babe of the week. Unfortunately, he grabs her breasts by mistake, and now must marry the woman. Kirk gives speech about a person's right to make mistakes and freewill, and saves Spock.
TNG-Picard somehow gets a "tribble" for a birthday present, which forever after lives on his head. Spot goes missing and Data thinks that Picard may have something to do with the cat's disappearance.
TOS-Spock attempts a mindmeld with the Alien Babe of the week. Unfortunately, he grabs her breasts by mistake, and now must marry the woman. Kirk gives speech about a person's right to make mistakes and freewill, and saves Spock.
TNG: Cat's Eyes
The crew visit an alien planet, where Riker accidently breaks one of their complex social laws, causing an omnipotent energy being to appear in orbit, which the planet's occupants refer to as goddess. As punishment, Riker and all of the the crew are blinded by the entity, so preventing the law from being broken again.
The only one who is left with vision is Spot, who has to find a way to save the crew. For 3/4 of the episode, we follow Spot wandering through the service tubes, chewing through plasma conduits, and meowing at the computer, resulting in a Katomeatric field to be generated from the deflector grid which sends communication pulses of felinic energy at the energy being, which turns out to be Bast, the goddess of cats. Feeling sympathy for the crew, Bast agrees to Spot's request, and returns the eyesight back to the Enterprise crew.
Data shows his thanks to Spot by replicating a dish of feline nutritional supplement number 9, while Picard rewards Spot's bravery with Acting Ensign status, and puts a pip on the cat collar.
DS9: Latinumfinger
Odo gets ear that a suspected latinum smuggler is arriving at the station. There are many files documented about him, as he is known to be moving Latinum from Ferenginar to the Gamma Quadrant, and selling it at a profit, but he hasn't been prosecuted since nobody has worked out how he's managing to doing it. So Odo makes this most important investigation yet.
Odo goes to visit him, under an assumed identity, plays some Dom-Jot, and makes a bet with him for a latinum bar he's borrowed off Quark. After Odo wins, Latinumfinger heads home in his ship.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, Odo follows his movements with a transmitter he hides on his ship, spies on him, discovers that his ship is made from 100% latinum disguised as tritanium, gets caught and locked up, escapes under the door, hears about a plan to blow up the Great Latinum Repository on Ferenginar, and almost gets sliced in two by an industrial laser.
He sends back information which foils the plan, and everybody lives happily ever after, except Latinumfinger, who gets sucked out of his spaceship through a hull breech.
The crew visit an alien planet, where Riker accidently breaks one of their complex social laws, causing an omnipotent energy being to appear in orbit, which the planet's occupants refer to as goddess. As punishment, Riker and all of the the crew are blinded by the entity, so preventing the law from being broken again.
The only one who is left with vision is Spot, who has to find a way to save the crew. For 3/4 of the episode, we follow Spot wandering through the service tubes, chewing through plasma conduits, and meowing at the computer, resulting in a Katomeatric field to be generated from the deflector grid which sends communication pulses of felinic energy at the energy being, which turns out to be Bast, the goddess of cats. Feeling sympathy for the crew, Bast agrees to Spot's request, and returns the eyesight back to the Enterprise crew.
Data shows his thanks to Spot by replicating a dish of feline nutritional supplement number 9, while Picard rewards Spot's bravery with Acting Ensign status, and puts a pip on the cat collar.
DS9: Latinumfinger
Odo gets ear that a suspected latinum smuggler is arriving at the station. There are many files documented about him, as he is known to be moving Latinum from Ferenginar to the Gamma Quadrant, and selling it at a profit, but he hasn't been prosecuted since nobody has worked out how he's managing to doing it. So Odo makes this most important investigation yet.
Odo goes to visit him, under an assumed identity, plays some Dom-Jot, and makes a bet with him for a latinum bar he's borrowed off Quark. After Odo wins, Latinumfinger heads home in his ship.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, Odo follows his movements with a transmitter he hides on his ship, spies on him, discovers that his ship is made from 100% latinum disguised as tritanium, gets caught and locked up, escapes under the door, hears about a plan to blow up the Great Latinum Repository on Ferenginar, and almost gets sliced in two by an industrial laser.
He sends back information which foils the plan, and everybody lives happily ever after, except Latinumfinger, who gets sucked out of his spaceship through a hull breech.
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DS9: A freak transporter accident causes Kira and Quark to switch bodies, Freaky Friday-style! Hilarity ensues...
TOS: A hot alien chick steals Spock's brain, but somehow McCoy is able to not only keep the body alive, but move it with a remote control. Hilarity ensues as they try to find Spock's brain.
TOS: Kirk takes aboard some orphans at a colony. The orphans are really followers of a badly dressed alien lawyer. They take over the ship and hilarity ensues.
TOS: Kirk takes aboard some orphans at a colony. The orphans are really followers of a badly dressed alien lawyer. They take over the ship and hilarity ensues.
Someone's been reading too much Stephen Ratliff.
"Hotel Royale" (TNG)
The Enterprise investigates the wreckage of a 21st century Berman & Braga's 1970's vintage stoner van, orbiting a distant planet and the appearance of a casino with inhabitants based on a paperback novel. The sudden appearance of hit superstar secret agent Gary Seven and his archnemesis Pewter Mouth serves to complicate issues further.
"A Day in Sickbay Pt. 1" (ENT)
Trip tries to pick up an alien chick, but she elctrocutes him in the family jewels as part of a mating ritual. He is rushed to sickbay and he badly needs a new pituary gland (?). But, the only compatible pituary glands are those of Lando Calrissian. Porthos pees on Trip, causing him to sue Captain Archer. The honorable Judge Archer rules in favor of Archer, and Trip gains a grudge against him. Meanwhile, Daniels appaears with a grave warning for Malcom about the Temporal Cold War, but to his horror finds that his mouth is sewn shut. Meanwhile, the Suliban show up, and in order to defeat them, Hoshi and Mayweather fuse into a single entity so they can power up to super sayijn level 24 x 36 to the twelth power. Meanwhile, Future Guy, who is really Lt. J.T. Barnaby, 24th century Starfleet officer and attorney, plans to finally reveal himself. If he can find the remote for his Palpatine Industries Holographic Minion Bossing Thing.
"Defecations" (VOY)
After sucking in a cloud of burritos in hopes to use it as fuel in the warp core, Voyager's bioneral gel packs start shitting themselves. They discover that one of them has become sentient and thus logically, wants to kill them all. Meanwhile, Harry and Tom are stuck on the holodeck due to a maulnfunction, and a warped projection of the Doctor performs a sex change on Harry. Janeway manages to talk the gelpacks into leaving the ship, but not before they kill a traumitized Harry. Janeway ends on a log "I stand in wonderment to see the creation of a new life, even at the expense of what's his face"
"Corrections" (VOY)
While travelling through a technobabblium nebula, Voyager is sucked into a temporal rift, where they come face to face with the Enterprise-A, commanded by a scraggly Alternate Harry with a goatee and mullet. Janeway discovers that he and his crew were trapped there by a technobabblium inversion, but they can never return to their home universe. With the link to Janeway's own universe fading, she convinces half of the Enterprise crew, including Captain Kim, to come aboard Voyager. But, they're attacked! By pirates! Space pirates! Space pirate Borg! And the Enterprise, led by Alternate Ransom, nobly sacrifices himself to destroy them, asking Janeway "Do a favor for me. Get your crew home." "You already told me that, you bubble-headed alternate booby!". Alternate Kim conveniently accepts a position as Operations officer and a demotion to ensign. Also, Data's cat Spot is now a member of the crew thanks to his heroics and is assigned a commbadge.
"NUMA NUMA" (TOS)
In this award-winning episode written by Clive Cussler, the Enterprise is ordered by NUMAfleet to enter orbit of planet Cussleron, where they tussle with a Klingon battleship. They then discover terrorists planting bombs to ruin the Federation economy and restore Japan to its former glory. Fortunatley, Clive Cussler is on the scene and saves the day!
The Enterprise investigates the wreckage of a 21st century Berman & Braga's 1970's vintage stoner van, orbiting a distant planet and the appearance of a casino with inhabitants based on a paperback novel. The sudden appearance of hit superstar secret agent Gary Seven and his archnemesis Pewter Mouth serves to complicate issues further.
"A Day in Sickbay Pt. 1" (ENT)
Trip tries to pick up an alien chick, but she elctrocutes him in the family jewels as part of a mating ritual. He is rushed to sickbay and he badly needs a new pituary gland (?). But, the only compatible pituary glands are those of Lando Calrissian. Porthos pees on Trip, causing him to sue Captain Archer. The honorable Judge Archer rules in favor of Archer, and Trip gains a grudge against him. Meanwhile, Daniels appaears with a grave warning for Malcom about the Temporal Cold War, but to his horror finds that his mouth is sewn shut. Meanwhile, the Suliban show up, and in order to defeat them, Hoshi and Mayweather fuse into a single entity so they can power up to super sayijn level 24 x 36 to the twelth power. Meanwhile, Future Guy, who is really Lt. J.T. Barnaby, 24th century Starfleet officer and attorney, plans to finally reveal himself. If he can find the remote for his Palpatine Industries Holographic Minion Bossing Thing.
"Defecations" (VOY)
After sucking in a cloud of burritos in hopes to use it as fuel in the warp core, Voyager's bioneral gel packs start shitting themselves. They discover that one of them has become sentient and thus logically, wants to kill them all. Meanwhile, Harry and Tom are stuck on the holodeck due to a maulnfunction, and a warped projection of the Doctor performs a sex change on Harry. Janeway manages to talk the gelpacks into leaving the ship, but not before they kill a traumitized Harry. Janeway ends on a log "I stand in wonderment to see the creation of a new life, even at the expense of what's his face"
"Corrections" (VOY)
While travelling through a technobabblium nebula, Voyager is sucked into a temporal rift, where they come face to face with the Enterprise-A, commanded by a scraggly Alternate Harry with a goatee and mullet. Janeway discovers that he and his crew were trapped there by a technobabblium inversion, but they can never return to their home universe. With the link to Janeway's own universe fading, she convinces half of the Enterprise crew, including Captain Kim, to come aboard Voyager. But, they're attacked! By pirates! Space pirates! Space pirate Borg! And the Enterprise, led by Alternate Ransom, nobly sacrifices himself to destroy them, asking Janeway "Do a favor for me. Get your crew home." "You already told me that, you bubble-headed alternate booby!". Alternate Kim conveniently accepts a position as Operations officer and a demotion to ensign. Also, Data's cat Spot is now a member of the crew thanks to his heroics and is assigned a commbadge.
"NUMA NUMA" (TOS)
In this award-winning episode written by Clive Cussler, the Enterprise is ordered by NUMAfleet to enter orbit of planet Cussleron, where they tussle with a Klingon battleship. They then discover terrorists planting bombs to ruin the Federation economy and restore Japan to its former glory. Fortunatley, Clive Cussler is on the scene and saves the day!
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Stellar Portal (TNG): A young exo-archaeologist comes aboard the ENT., to prove his theory about the Iconian Gateways. (His theory is that much of earth's myths are based on alien interaction with primative man. Despite absolute proof in aliens, and that aliens HAD been on Earth, the crew dismisses this theory)
Upon finding a correct "Portal Address", they crew finds themselves in a region of space where the Neural Parasites (Conspiracy) rule humans as gods, and Augmented humans serve as incubators and footsoldiers. The crew decides that some other group should handle this problem, hits the RESET button and orders Data to forget it ever happened.
Always with the problems: (DS9): There is a problem on Bajor; it's basicly a 20th century problem that we (the viewers) can't solve, but with spacey or mystical sounding names. In the end, nothing is sloved, but Sisko makes a nice speech that is very moving, but points out how unsolvable the problem is.
Yup, It's Sweeps Week: (VOY): A pandimentional anomaly (is there any other kind) replaces the regular VOY with a MU duplicates. The plot is basicly them trying to get away from an Alliance cruiser, and they eventually switch back with the real VOY. But the whole ep is an excuse to show off bare chests of most of the men, put the women (even Janeway....
in really revealing outfits, and Seven is naked, but you never see her below the neck, but they tease you). Naomi Wildman is for some reason a teen-age pop star that's only there to get a younger demographic. Neelix is gone, replaced by a Borgafied Gorn trained by Klingons to fight Jem'hadar!
The ending we gave you was crap, but here's the ending my 6 year old son wanted you to see: (ENT) Fighting the Romulans, the ENT. is begining to lose it's warp core. Just before it explodes, Porthos reveals himself to be a magical shape shifting alien from the future (ARcher is actually allergic to dogs, has never owned a dog, but now he loves them), sent to make sure Archer fulfills his destiny. Porthos uses his powers to fix the ship, then he changes the timeline so no one remembers anything about Romulans, and makes the prediction that the war is coming, as is he who must not be named.
When archer and crew ask why he didn't help them before, all he says is "What do you want? I'm a dog!". Then he makes them forget, but Tripp dies anyway, and Archer gives a speech that we don't get to hear, but it's the most enlightening and heartwarming speech ever given. Instead of hearing that, we get to watch Porthos eat a chunk of cheese.
Upon finding a correct "Portal Address", they crew finds themselves in a region of space where the Neural Parasites (Conspiracy) rule humans as gods, and Augmented humans serve as incubators and footsoldiers. The crew decides that some other group should handle this problem, hits the RESET button and orders Data to forget it ever happened.
Always with the problems: (DS9): There is a problem on Bajor; it's basicly a 20th century problem that we (the viewers) can't solve, but with spacey or mystical sounding names. In the end, nothing is sloved, but Sisko makes a nice speech that is very moving, but points out how unsolvable the problem is.
Yup, It's Sweeps Week: (VOY): A pandimentional anomaly (is there any other kind) replaces the regular VOY with a MU duplicates. The plot is basicly them trying to get away from an Alliance cruiser, and they eventually switch back with the real VOY. But the whole ep is an excuse to show off bare chests of most of the men, put the women (even Janeway....
in really revealing outfits, and Seven is naked, but you never see her below the neck, but they tease you). Naomi Wildman is for some reason a teen-age pop star that's only there to get a younger demographic. Neelix is gone, replaced by a Borgafied Gorn trained by Klingons to fight Jem'hadar!The ending we gave you was crap, but here's the ending my 6 year old son wanted you to see: (ENT) Fighting the Romulans, the ENT. is begining to lose it's warp core. Just before it explodes, Porthos reveals himself to be a magical shape shifting alien from the future (ARcher is actually allergic to dogs, has never owned a dog, but now he loves them), sent to make sure Archer fulfills his destiny. Porthos uses his powers to fix the ship, then he changes the timeline so no one remembers anything about Romulans, and makes the prediction that the war is coming, as is he who must not be named.
When archer and crew ask why he didn't help them before, all he says is "What do you want? I'm a dog!". Then he makes them forget, but Tripp dies anyway, and Archer gives a speech that we don't get to hear, but it's the most enlightening and heartwarming speech ever given. Instead of hearing that, we get to watch Porthos eat a chunk of cheese.
But, but, but.. you forgot the reason they had to go to Cussleron as told in the prologue, what priceless car was used in the car chase, and who beats the shit out of Kirk and Spock after which they begin to think there might be something going on, lol.
"Infinite Crisis" (VOY)
During Season 2, Joe Carey is struck by COSMIC RAYS, giving him the strength of a 100 men, the ability to fly and so many powers that he makes Superman look reasonable. For 5 long years, he battles his nemesis Apocalyptic Metal Monger Man, until he finally returns to Voyager, exhausted from his fight with his arch nemesis. This episode leads directly into Friendship One, where a deleted scene shows that Carey's powers were being nullified by proximity to Voyager's dilithium crystals.
During Season 2, Joe Carey is struck by COSMIC RAYS, giving him the strength of a 100 men, the ability to fly and so many powers that he makes Superman look reasonable. For 5 long years, he battles his nemesis Apocalyptic Metal Monger Man, until he finally returns to Voyager, exhausted from his fight with his arch nemesis. This episode leads directly into Friendship One, where a deleted scene shows that Carey's powers were being nullified by proximity to Voyager's dilithium crystals.