Voyager Caption This Blowout Sale!

[Evil Twin]

Sorry about the delay. Most of TrekCore's Voyager caps still aren't up but I remembered I had a folder set aside for possible caption-worthy caps so to make up for lost time (and I'm feeling generous on my birthday), they're all here! This should last us a little while.

Anyway, last round's winner:

Chaotica: "Look, I've been a good sport about this so far, but if you can't get your disintegrating pistol plugged in within five minutes, I'm offing this blond chick. I don't care what the rules say."

And your prize:

A 50% off coupon for Conformity-R-Us!
Hurry, selection is limited (as it always is.)

Up next:

 

[Shatmandu]

Seven: "Captain Janeway's IUD appears to be undamaged ..."

 

[Brian]

Neelix: "Hmm... ribbed, for her pleasure... Um, Seven?"
Seven: "NO."

Tuvok: "Mr Paris, in the 20th century vernacular you seem to have such an affinity for, your CGI 'sucks'."

Tuvok (thinking): "He doesn't even know I'm alive."

Seven: "Sorry, your tits must be this firm to enter this section."

Seven (thinking): "Why are they all looking away from me? This is all about me, isn't it?"

Neelix: "Since there are an odd nubmer of us playing tonight, you get the honor of selecting two sets of keys."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Neelix: "Seven, wanna screw?"
Seven: "I require a self-sealing stembolt."
Neelix: "You'll go blind that way..."

Tuvok: "I do not see why my presence is required here Mr Paris."
Paris: "You're head of security, I need a way to keep Chakotay out of the driver's seat."
Tuvok: "Ah, a logical precaution."

Paris: "You're not piloting the Flyer!"
Chakotay: "I'm the second in command on this ship, I'll fly whatever I damned well please. Command prerogative. Now give me the keys."
Paris: "Tuvok..."
Tuvok: "Do not involve me in this. I am not the one who labelled the Vulcan testicle restraints as inhumane."

Dawson: "Jeri, it's a prop, you can't threaten anyone with that."
Ryan: "I don't care. Did you hear them? The ratings dropped again, and now they say that Borg would find clothing irrelevant. The fucking backache I got now isn't irrelevant."

Janeway: "So let me get this straight, one Margerita, one Hawaiian feast, and one meat and cheese supreme."
Torres: "And Garlic Bread."
Ambassador: "I do not understand, is she not your Captain?"
Seven: "We're running low on redshirts, people have to double up on duties."
Intercom: "Kim to Seven, I've finished re-underwiring your bra, you can collect it whenever."

Phillips: "Ok, the one who pulls out the 8-ball gets the transfer to Stargate SG1. Losers get another season of this crap. Good luck."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SEVEN: 10 bucks? Five and not a penny more!

PARIS: Janeway gave me a drawing that said 18 inches. Now, whether or not she knows the difference between feet and inches is not my problem. I do what I'm told.

TUVOK: But you're not as confused as her, are you? I mean, it's not your job to be as confused as Janeway.

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: And only one previous owner. A "Mister George Jetson."

 

[Triskelion]

Neelix, do not complain about the prices. The sooner we can get these industrial-grade reinforced toilet fixtures installed the sooner you can stop using ship's transporter resources to void your bowels. And Lieutenant Tuvok did not appreciate your last practical joke.

No, he did not. He did not indeed. Um, we'll take these, sir.

Mr Paris, I don't care what Ed Begley told you in Future's End, this hybrid will never get off the ground.

No crewman's sensitivity training was complete until they saw Tom Paris' sexual harassment skit; Chakotay's micromini was just icing on the cake.

I'm warning you not to pinch my cheeks this time, old woman. And before you ask, no I don't want a butterscotch.

A twelve-pronged Surellian Starburst! So which one of us is going to be the event horizon?

Neelix's diaper-changing class was a bigger hit than his lamaze class.

 

[Triskelion]

Keep looking, Seven. There's got to be something Evil Twin would like for his birthday.

This cake should not have dynametric tailfins, Mr Paris. And I told you to make a clown.

Happy Birthday!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
Happy Birthday!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
Lisa it's your birthday!
Ok.

You were instructed to bring your hot niece. It was the entire point of inviting you.

I know Evil Twin is going to love this Voyager commemorative Delta Flyer Punch Bowl. But that's quite expensive. Tell Neelix to pass the hat.

Come on folks. The folding kind this time.

I'm sure I speak for the board when I say Happy Birthday Evil Twin!

 

[Evil Twin]

Thanks, Triskelion!

 

[Evil Twin]

"No, Chakotay, like THIS! You need to open your mouth WIDER when you get angry! Geeze, Tuvok, it's like teaching a log."

 

[Velocity]

All right, this hubcap will do. Bring the lugnuts, Neelix. We'll have that '57 Chevy replicated in time for Tom's birthday.

Did this prototype just say, "So long, and thanks for all the fish", or did the Universal Translator just malfunction?

Paris: F!
Chakotay: UCK!
Together: FUCK!
Paris: Y!
Chakotay: OO!
Together: YOU!
Tuvok: Uh, guys...are you trying to tell me something?

No more new cast members are allowed. I'm the last one, so get out!

I don't care how state of the art this treadmill is! I'm not paying what this salesman is asking for it, however I could trade one of our many shuttlecraft.

All the names were in the hat, but no one could be persuaded to draw one out. Neelix was sleeping alone tonight!

 

[Nerys Myk]

NEELIX: Trust me ladies, all three of you will be winners. (wink)

 

[LeadHead]

Tuvok: The 1998 Delta Flyer GT California, less than a hundred were made. Ambassador Spock spent a year restoring this vehicle. It is his logic, it is his kohlinar-
Paris: It is his fault he didn't lock the Shuttlebay.

 

[scottydog]

"The next dish I make is sure to have lots of iron it it!"

 

[Plecostomus]

S: "This item is completely irrelevant."
N: "These go with it."
S: "I'll take it."

 

[Gertch]

Paris: "... and now that I'm this close I think I just found Waldo!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Neelix: "I don't get it. Why would you need car parts for a hummer?"

Tuvok: "The fins on the top I can understand, but the one on the bottom clearly is compensating for something."

Paris: "You? Dating Seven? It just seems so...forced!"

Seven: "This ship is not big enough for two hot blonds."

Janeway: "Ah, good. You've figured out how to totally wussify the Hirogen as villains."

The candidates to be Chakotay's love interest in the seventh season eagerly await the drawing.

 

[Atavachron]

Seven: "I just love shopping for baby things."
Neelix: "And it's even more fun here at Babies 'R' Us."

Tuvok: "Does it seem logical to make the gift this large, since the child isn't even born yet?"

Paris: "He'll grow into it!"

Janeway: "Well, I guess the shower's off. The doctor says you're not pregnant after all, Seven."

Seven: "I sent out invitations. I ordered a cake. I sat up all night making little diapers for the poopie diaper game!"

Meanwhile...
Neelix: "Okay, everone gets one diaper to pin to their tunic. At the end of the shower we all get to see who gets the poopie one and wins..."

Atavachron

 

[Capt_Piett]

Seven to Torres: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisiton!

(jarring chord and out jumps Kes)

Kes: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.

 

[Kirby]

Tuvok: "Lieutenant Jor-el wants to do what with it?"